We are four humble men who love sports, but hate sports commentary. Peter Gammons is our hero and John Madden is our enemy. If you were to ask us our purpose, our answer would be simple: "We are forever locked in Mortal Kombat for the souls of sports fans everywhere. Statistics are our science and 'the immeasurable character of men' is the obsolete religion of blind faith. Our job is to prove that God doesn't exist and that athletes are merely cold, metal machines with no hearts or souls."
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Wednesday, December 10, 2008
"Red Wings Make Me Gay"
This is a sports blog. Hockey's a sport. Let's talk about that.
If any of you have watched a Chicago Blackhawks game on local television this past week, and i'm guessing you haven't, you would have seen a commercial for Grant's Appliance featuring local hero Patrick Sharp. After 28 uneventful seconds, the greatest line in the history of lines was uttered by the very "straight" hawks forward. In response to being offered hot wings, Sharp replies "no thanks, red wings make me gay". You may be thinking WTF? In fact, the official line is red wings make me gag, which is quite gay in its own sense, but 100 out of 100 observers will wager their first born that Sharp says gay.
One would hope that something like this would help revitalize the hockey enthusiasm in the once proud city of Chicago. Although great strides have been taken in the past year, notably the hiring of John McDonough and televised home games, too many sports fanatics both young and old remain unaware hockey even exists. Like with an ex-girlfriend, I challenge each and every one of you to give hockey one last chance before saying adieu. Don't be the one to miss the next decade of Datsyuk/Zetterberg vs. Toews/kane rivalry reignited all over again, irregardless how gay it may be.
Glad to see you posting Bright One! Really funny stuff. This site in like its first week is already turning out to be pretty funny. Now we just have to get people to look at it...
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