- Ken Griffey made his illustrious return to the Emerald city 10 years after demanding a trade to Cincinatti, and singled in his first at-bat. He'll be lucky to break the mendoza line if he gets over 400Ab. Some guy named Shane Loux pitched 5 solid inning for the Halos. Looking up his minor league numbers, the guy didnt pitch, at all, from 2003 to 2008. Last year he managed 4K in 16IP. Dude must have had a freakish spring to get a major league start. Get Kevin Costner on the phone, i smell a cheezy sports flick
- Javy Vazquez strikes out 12 with one walk in 6IP and gets the loss. Of course he does. Meanwhile the Marlins rotation seems only second best to the Cardinals as Volstad dominates again.
- AJ Burnett takes a no-hitter into the 7th, a la Ted Lilly, as the Yanks get a win over the Rays behind a homer and double from the clean up hitter, Dirty 30.
- The Brew Crew is 2-6. That will happen when Jeff Suppan is your opening day pitcher. Braun has yet to go deep. And mark my words, Carlos Villanueva will get DFA SOON!
- The O's can simply hit the ball. One of the most balanced lineups in the game that rarely go into slumps. And look at all the white guys. Roberts, Markakis, Huff, Wiggington, Scott, Zaun. Represent!
- The Tribe is 1-7. Can the Cubs get Wood and Derosa back please? Break up the Indians, no sarcasm involved here. The Royals are 5-3 despite hitting .198 as a team
- Romero and Perkins, two lefties, both go 8IP 2ER despite not being able to strike people out. Impressive. The cluttchiest player in baseball, Joe Crede comes up with the game winning hit.
- Chris Carpenter leaves the game after 3IP due to a rib cage strain, while batting. Boy is he unlucky. Both bullpens suck, but the D-backs come out on top.
- Jack Cust, hit, RBI, run, walk, strikeout. Dude is the Robocop of baseball.
We are four humble men who love sports, but hate sports commentary. Peter Gammons is our hero and John Madden is our enemy. If you were to ask us our purpose, our answer would be simple: "We are forever locked in Mortal Kombat for the souls of sports fans everywhere. Statistics are our science and 'the immeasurable character of men' is the obsolete religion of blind faith. Our job is to prove that God doesn't exist and that athletes are merely cold, metal machines with no hearts or souls."
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Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Box Score Tonight: April 14
The theme will continue to be "break up the padres" up until they finally lose. Seeing as how they did not play today, we will have a substitute theme today in the form of "extra innings".
Hahaha I love these posts
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of comparing Jack Cust to Robocop, did you see the "This is Sportscenter" commercial where Pujols actually is a robot. Hilarious- I love those commercials too.
Have the Padres really not lost yet?