Miller, Morgan, and Phillips Are Making My Ears Bleed

I have been waiting so long for Opening Day. And when it finally arrives, I have to listen to Steve Phillips, Joe Morgan, and Jon Miller. I'd rather hear nails on a chalkboard for three hours. Oh my god, it's so bad! As this site has proved, making "expert analysis" is definitely a lot of harder than it looks, especially where there is so much data to contradict valid, rational thought. But the Trifecta Announcing From Hell does not use valid, rational thought. The first inning is not even complete and here's some of the great announcing I have to look forward to:

*Chipper Jones hit a bloop to LF off a low center ball out of the strike zone* Jon Miller:

And that's the reason Chipper hit .364 last year

Um, I'm pretty sure it's because of Chipper's top Line Drive Percentage and the fact that doesn't strike out is the reason he, or anyone else is able to hit for THAT high of an average, not because he hits bloop singles. If bloop singles was the reason people had a high AVG, then maybe I should pick up Michael Bourne in fantasy leagues...

*Chipper is at-bat* Jon Miller:

Chipper was second in OPS last year to Albert Pujols. In fact, OPS is a statistic that some people are starting to use.

Really? Just now people are starting to use? How far out of baseball are you that OPS is still a statistic that's rarely used!?

*Brain McCann is at bat batting fourth after Chipper* Steve Phillips:

You know very rarely do you see a catcher in the clean up spot and while McCann is a great power hitting catcher this is just a testament to this Braves line up that they really don't have that 40 HR guy

What!? Yes the Braves do not have that guy who can hit "40 Home Runs". Here's a list of teams that did not have a 40 HR hitter last year: Chicago, Tigers, Cleveland, Kansas City, Minnesota, Boston, New York, Tampa Bay, Oakland, LA, Toronto, Seattle, and Texas. And that's just the American League! Next year there is only gonna be probably about four teams that will have a 40+ HR guy: Milwaukee (Ryan Braun), Phillies (Ryan Howard), Cardinals (Albert Pujols), and Nationals (Adam Dunn). If even that's pushing it. God forbid the Braves don't have a 40 HR guy in their line up! How terrible that they only have a guy who will hit about 25 HR in their four hole! Oh No!