The Big 10 = That Crazy Uncle At Christmas

My Cousin Vinny is one of my favorite movies ever. I've seen it probably at least 15 times (twice last semester to "study" for Evidence) and that scene where Joe Pesci is cross examining the witness about eating grits is one of the funniest scenes ever. Another funny scene is where, in the midst and stress of preparing for the case, Pesci yells at his fiance Lisa, played wonderfully by Marissa Tomei, for stresing him out. He says to her:

Lisa, I don't need this. I swear to God, I do not need this right now, okay? I've got a judge that's just aching to throw me in jail. An idiot who wants to fight me for two hundred dollars. Slaughtered pigs. Giant loud whistles. I ain't slept in five days. I got no money, a dress code problem, AND a little murder case which, in the balance, holds the lives of two innocent kids. Not to mention your BIOLOGICAL CLOCK - my career, your life, our marriage, and let me see, what else can we pile on? Is there any more SHIT we can pile on to the top of the outcome of this case? Is it possible?

Well the Big 10 kind of reminds me of this speech. What other shit can they pile on to make things worse?

It all started off when they added Nebraska to the Big 10. That move in and of itself was wonderful. I'm all for expanding the conference (although I would have loved Texas, but such is life) and Nebraska is a great football program. But this is just the murder case. But this is before Vinny Gambini arrived on the scene.

The first problem arose when the Big Ten refused to change their name. Naming your conference the Big Ten with 11 teams is fine. But with the addition of Nebraska, that makes it 12 teams in the conference. So now there are 12 teams in th Big Ten and 10 teams in the Big Twelve.

Next, the conference decided to split the 12 teams into two divisions and added a Conference Championship Game to the football schedule. Again, another great idea. But the crap that was added to this was the naming of the two divisions. One is the "Leaders" division and the other is the "Legends" division.

Really Big Ten!? Really!? Those names are so dumb that there needs to be an SNL skit Really!? With Seth and Amy to discuss the stupidity of those names. How did no one in that room throw out the guy who suggested it? I don't care if the Commissioner Jim Delany himself came up those retarded names. Someone in that meeting room needed to say, "Those are the worst names ever. You have made every one in this room stupider for having to listen to you and may God have mercy on your soul" and then thrown him out of a window like an Arnold Schwartzenegger movie.

But icing on top of the cake was the new logo that has been unveiled. I'm a big fan of the old logo with the number "11" hidden within the "Big Ten" lettering to signify there are 11 teams in the Big Ten. But with the addition of Nebraska, the conference needed a new logo. And this is the shit they came up with: Good lawd I hate this logo and I think the vast majority of people are in agreeance with me. Not only is this way to simple and something I would have made as an art project when I was five, but it doesn't convey that there are 12 teams like I think it should.

Now I love the Big Ten because it's my home conference and I'll have loyalty to it until the day I die/ if Illinois ever leaves it, but the Big Ten have just made a string of bad after awful after worse decisions since adding Nebraska that I just can't agree with. Just like Adam Carolla ranting about how movie executives shouldn't get to keep their jobs for all the dumb fuck mistakes they make, I think the same applies to Delany and the people running this conference.

Ron Zook watching Juice play QB

Hubert Davis Hates the Big Ten, No Surprise There

Hubert Davis is a part of ESPN's "Bracketology" team. He's the token black guy on the squad (No offense, but seriously look at everyone else on the team). I don't really like college basketball too much and I don't really watch too much ESPN analysis too much either, but after just watching all of about five minutes of Davis' analysis the past few days, I feel like I have to revert back to GOI's roots and complain.

Yesterday, Hubert Davis was talking about "the eye test" to determine the quality of the teams on the bubble. Everyone else was talking about RPI and Strength of Schedule, you know statistics that help determine how good a team is. But not good ol' Hubert. Nope, he's not going to be persuaded by this "Moneyball" generation of sports. Instead, out of the 32 Division-I divisions that probably have an average of 11 teams, Hubert Davis is going to watch about 352 teams and he's going to rank in his head all of them, especially the top 65!

Then today, the Bracketology crew was discussing the quality of the Big Ten, how many teams the Big Ten should have, whether Penn State, a bubble team, deserves to go and what have you. Of course, being it ESPN, the big Midwest conference, the Big Ten, HAS to get shit on. And the shitter- Hubert Davis. First, he mentions how much the Big Ten sucks. Then he mentions how painful it is to watch Big Ten play. And it is because of these two facts that the Big Ten should get as little teams as possible!

First of all! well ok, Big Ten play is absolutely horrible to watch. He mentioned how team can have the score of 20-20 at the half, and this part is true. I'm a big fan of the Big Ten, but even I can't watch it, even when my team, Illinois, is playing. But that is still no excuse to exclude Big Ten teams because of this! Just because teams play knock out-drag out defense, doesn't mean they should not be in the playoffs! Should we take away the Ravens Superbowl win because there offense couldn't score for shit? Absolutely not. Team should be rewarded and praised that they play defense. In fact, you just can not go far in the tourny WITHOUT playing defense.

Second, THE BIG TEN IS THE SECOND BEST CONFERENCE IN THE FUCKING LEAGUE! I don't know where Davis gets this, but the Big Ten is the #2 conference under the #1 ACC according to RPI. Davis was talking about how the Big Ten sucks, how much better the Big East is and therefore the Big Ten shouldn't send 8 teams. What are you basing this off of? Sure, the very top of the Big East is probably more loaded with UConn, Pitt, and Louisville versus really just Michigan State. But this is not about the top of the conference, it's about the conference as a whole! And just a sidenote: the Big East is not #3 in conference RPI, that's the Big 12. Big East is actually fourth.

Big Ten teams in the top 65 according to RPI:
4) Michigan State
18) Illinois
30) Purdue
35) Ohio St
40) Minnesota
42) Michigan
44) Wisconsin

The Big Ten deserves to send 7 teams. Penn State is #68 according to the RPI and despite wins over the top of the Big Ten: Michigan State, Purdue, and twice over Illinois, they do not deserve to go. It's not because the Big Ten sucks or because Penn State plays quality defense and horrible-looking offense (HUBERT DAVIS!), but because Penn State has a low RPI and because of automatic bids due to conference tournaments. Teams who didn't win in the regular season but won their conference tournament (i.e. USC, Cleveland St) took bids away from teams like Penn State. Seriously, I don't understand how analysts like Hubert David are allowed to spew such nonsense and lies, all the fuck time! Fuck ESPN.