SNL Does Something Funny: Tiger At The Masters

Yeah, That's What She Said

FJM: Tiger Woods Time Magazine

In 2009, Time Magazine released an issue of the Top 100 most influential people in the world. Each selection had a short editorial written about him or her by a person who knows them best. Woods' editorial was written by his good Gillette buddy Roger Federer and it could not be more perfect in retrospect.

We are fortunate to live in the Tiger Woods era. Tiger, 33, is a model for how athletes should conduct themselves.

Yes, we are fortunate. What other athlete could possible screw up his life so royally in front of the entire world? Finally, we have a model of how athletes DO conduct themselves, and it is awesome.

He handles himself with class, and he's articulate. There's no silly talk in public from Tiger. When he speaks, people listen.

Uh, yeah. I set not one, but two alarm clocks to make sure and not miss Tiger's infamous "apology" for getting caught..errrrr..losing his sponsors..errrrr..destroying his family. And he's so articulate, perfect spelling and so visual in his texts.

That is an important part of why he's an idol for so many young athletes and why adults get giddy when they see him. They're not just awed by his great wins; they admire him as a person.

If by giddy, he means horny, then yes adults get super giddy when they see the great Tiger. Whats not to admire. He's perfected putting it in the hole on and off the course.

I looked to Tiger for lessons on how philanthropy should be done. His philanthropic efforts are really unbelievable, and I plan to follow his example.

Tiger never hesitates to get out his credit card when he sees someone in need of a plane ticket, hotel room, or even a diamond necklace. Those poor, tattooed little kiddies.

Tiger has become a close friend, and people would be surprised that under that serious game face is a big kid who loves to play jokes and have a good time.

Just like Borat, beneath that serious face he love to make sexy time too

Who Wants To Throw A Tiger Woods Announcement Party?

Seriously, I could not be more excited about seeing and hearing Eldrick Woods speak tomorrow for the first time in 3 months. The most famous athlete in the world has managed to not be seen by a single person for 3 whole months. That sort of dedication is what makes him great, as well as led to all of his problems. When you have everything, it is still not enough. Greatness is never satisfied, and it looks to feed off the next challenge. This quality is what makes Tiger so admirable, yet so disdained by those who could never understand what it's like to be him.

Tomorrow at 10am, central time zone, Tiger will host a short presser in front of selected friends and media personal explaining where he has been the last 3 months and what led him to betray his friends, family, and sponsors. I'm giddy with excitement to see how Tiger handles being in such an uncomfortable situation. Yes, sinking a clutch 30 foot put takes a lot of machismo, but facing the world after one of the greatest scandals will require much more than testosterone. It will require planning and preparation. Two qualities that Tiger has perfected in his life. This is why I don not expect to see any emotional tears from him tomorrow, a la Arod, Big Mac, or Kobe Bryant. This will be a supremely orchestrated, practiced retinue to come off as sincere as possible, in the fakest way possible. He may be apologetic to his family and sponsors, but I doubt he feels any obligation to the public masses yet will try to win them back by blaming an addiction and claiming that he is human and makes mistakes just like everyone else. Maybe, just maybe, if his mother is in attendance and Elin sitting by his side, that will be enough to get under his skin and expose his inner id

The odds that anyone will come away from the press conference satisfied with what they heard is highly doubtful, yet it will still be gratifying to see the Tiger come out of hiding. I'm anxious to go to bed tonight just so tomorrow morning will come quicker. No chance i'm going to class, this is much more important

Get A Life

SNL created controversy after they did a skit parodying the Tiger Woods "domestic disturbance incident". People became upset because they say it was offensive to woman because if Tiger was a woman this skit would have been done and because the musical guest, Rihanna, was a victim of a major domestic disturbance.

Really!? Really!? Is this what people are getting upset about and complaining about!? Jesus Christ. I'm sorry, but shut the fuck up is that is what you're going to complain about.

Eldrick SNL Spoof

Nike Owns Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods Holiday Photo

Tiger Woods Affair

How Does The Name Tiger Woods Not Appear Once In This Police Call?

Seriously, this dude keeps referring to Tiger Woods as his neighbor. How do you not know that your neighbor is Tiger Woods!? Seriously, how many black people, who happen to be the richest most famous athlete of all time, do you have living in the subdivision to not know it's Tiger Woods. Maybe Tiger's face was more messed up than Jimmy Clausen's such that the guy couldn't even recognize him. And Tiger was driving a Cadillac Escalade? I was sure he drove a Buick in real life.