Legal Fantasy Baseball Team Names

I can't sleep, so here are some some fantasy baseball team names that involved legal jargon I've been musing about. Some are better than others; make suggestions in the comments.

• Habeas CORPAS
  
• De Novotto Review
• Quid Pro Kuo
• Caveat Kemptor
• Per Quade
• Cliff Appellee
• Wright To Remain Silent (or sub any other "Constitutional Wright")
• Fi-Duchsch-iary Obligations
  
• Longoria Arm Statutes
• Lessoria
• Locus in Kuo
• Gideon v. Wainwright
• Juan Miranda v. Arizona (he was traded to Dbacks in the offseason)
  

Round Two of March Madness: Archer Quotes Edition

Here's round two, let's get voting!



Please vote only once per division

ISIS Division



ODEN Division



KGB Division



German Hitman Division

Brian Cartwright Has A Question

Jeff, can you poll your followers to see what in-season stats they would like to see, and be able to download? There are more columns that I send in than are being shown on the website. Especially once we get a new programmer on board, hopefully it wouldn't be much work to add more columns to the downloaded csv files, or just let them download the same "raw" files that I submit. Here is what I currently submit (and I can come up with others)

Raw Batting

• Name


• mlbamid


• oliverID


• pos


• Bats


• Age


• Season


• Group_CD


• Org_CD


• Team_CD


• Team_TX


• League_CD


• League_TX


• Class_CD


• WAR


• wOBA


• BRAR


• SBR


• BA


• OBP


• SLG


• G


• PA


• AB


• R


• H


• DO


• TR


• HR


• RBI


• SB


• CS


• BB


• SO


• HP


• IBB


• SH


• SF


• GDP


• Opp


• FRAA


• C_RAA


• 1B_RAA


• 2B_RAA


• 3B_RAA


• SS_RAA


• LF_RAA


• CF_RAA


• RF_RAA

Raw Pitching

• `Name


• mlbamid


• oliverID


• Pos


• Throws


• Age


• Season


• Group_CD


• Org_CD


• Team_CD


• Team_TX


• League_CD


• League_TX


• Class_CD


• WAR


• wOBA


• BAA


• OBA


• SLGA


• G


• GS


• QS


• CG


• GF


• ERA


• PRAR


• W


• L


• SV


• Hld


• BS


• IP


• PA


• AB


• BHF


• BIP


• R


• ER


• H


• DO


• TR


• HR


• BB


• SO


• HP


• IBB


• SH


• SF


• GDP


• WP


• BK


• GB


• LD


• FB


• PU

Gilbert Gottfried Is Hilarious

Just further proof that Sexy Rexy's sense of humor is questionable:

GOI's Mega Baseball Predictions Post

We've said it over and over again. Predictions are worthless. In a recent e-mail The 'Bright' One stated to me

I hate predicting standings. Player stats maybe, but predicting standings just makes the actual season seem inconsequential. As a former psych of happiness prof once told us, "enjoyment comes from embracing the process, not just the final result

And he's right. We here at GOI know how worthless predictions are so just take them for what they're worth. Baseball season is right around the corner and let's just enjoy the season. But at the same time, it sure feels good to say "I told you so" and this post will be proof to say that.

I've asked the other three Game of Inches authors to send me their predictions on who will win the major end of the season awards as well as their predictions for how the standings will turn out. The four of us did not convene to talk about these predictions in any way and all individual predictions were done without the knowledge of what the other three had predicted.

END OF THE SEASON AWARDS

AL MVP

Sexy Rexy

Winner: Miguel Cabrera
Runner Up: Adrian Gonzalez

David "MVP" Eckstein

Winner: Nelson Cruz
Runner Up: Evan Longoria

The 'Bright' One

Winner: Josh Hamilton
Runner Up: Adrian Gonzalez

Cubsfan4evr1

Winner: Evan Longoria
Runner Up: Adrian Gonzalez

NL MVP

Sexy Rexy

Winner: Troy Tulowitzki
Runner Up: Albert Pujols

David "MVP" Eckstein

Winner: Troy Tulowitzki
Runner Up: Joey Votto

The 'Bright' One

Winner: Troy Tulowitzki
Runner Up: Albert Pujols

Cubsfan4evr1

Winner: Albert Pujols
Runner Up: Andre Ethier

AL Cy Young

Sexy Rexy

Winner: Jon Lester
Runner Up: Felix Hernandez

David "MVP" Eckstein

Winner: Justin Verlander
Runner Up: Jered Weaver

The 'Bright' One

Winner: Jon Lester
Runner Up: Felix Hernandez

Cubsfan4evr1

Winner: Jon Lester
Runner Up: Jered Weaver

NL Cy Young

Sexy Rexy

Winner: Tim Lincecum
Runner Up: Javier Vazquez

My #2 pitcher and the guy who will actually be the runner up is obviously Roy Halladay but I'm big on Javy this year and just wanted to give him some love

David "MVP" Eckstein

Winner: Tim Lincecum
Runner Up: Clayton Kershaw

The 'Bright' One

Winner: Roy Halladay
Runner Up: Tim Lincecum

Cubsfan4evr1

Winner: Tim Lincecum
Runner Up: Tommy Hanson

AL Rookie of the Year

Sexy Rexy

Winner: Desmond Jennings
Runner Up: Mike Moustakas

David "MVP" Eckstein

Winner: Michael Pineda
Runner Up: Jeremy Hellickson

The 'Bright' One

Winner: Michael Pineda
Runner Up: Michael Moustakas

Cubsfan4evr1

Winner: Jeremy Hellickson
Runner Up: Michael Pineda

NL Rookie of the Year

Sexy Rexy

Winner: Freddy Freeman
Runner Up: Brandon Beachy

David "MVP" Eckstein

Winner: Brandon Beachy
Runner Up: Aldoris Chapman

The 'Bright' One

Winner: Brandon Belt
Runner Up: Dominic Brown

Cubsfan4evr1

Winner: Brandon Beachy
Runner Up: Freddy Freeman

AL Sophomore of the Year

Sexy Rexy

Winner: Wade Davis
Runner Up: Carlos Santana

David "MVP" Eckstein

Winner: Carlos Santana
Runner Up: Brian Matusz

The 'Bright' One

Winner: Neftali Feliz
Runner Up: Carlos Santana

Cubsfan4evr1

Winner: Carlos Santana
Runner Up: Wade Davis

NL Sophomore of the Year

Sexy Rexy

Winner: Mike Stanton
Runner Up: Jason Heyward

David "MVP" Eckstein

Winner: Mike Stanton
Runner Up: Mat Latos

I personally don't think Latos is a sophomore in 2011 considering he pitched 50+ innings in 2009

The 'Bright' One

Winner: Starlin Castro
Runner Up: Jason Heyward

Cubsfan4evr1

Winner: Jason Heyward
Runner Up: Mike Stanton

DIVISION STANDINGS

* Denotes Wild Card

AL West

Sexy Rexy
1) Texas Rangers
2) Oakland A's
3) Los Angeles Angels
4) Seattle Mariners

David "MVP" Eckstein
1) Oakland A's
2) Texas Rangers
3) Los Angeles Angels
4) Seattle Mariners

The 'Bright' One
1) Texas Rangers
2) Oakland A's
3) Los Angeles Angels
4) Seattle Mariners

Cubsfan4evr1
1) Texas Rangers
2) Los Angeles Angels
3) Oakland A's
4) Seattle Mariners

AL Central

Sexy Rexy
1) Minnesota Twins
2) Chicago White Sox
3) Detroit Tigers
4) Kansas City Royals
5) Cleveland Indians

David "MVP" Eckstein
1) Chicago White Sox
2) Detroit Tigers
3) Minnesota Twins
4) Kansas City Royals
5) Cleveland Indians

The 'Bright' One
1) Minnesota Twins
2) Detroit Tigers
3) Chicago White Sox
4) Kansas City Royals
5) Cleveland Indians

Cubsfan4evr1
1) Chicago White Sox
2) Minnesota Twins
3) Detroit Tigers
4) Kansas City Royals
5) Cleveland Indians

AL East

Sexy Rexy
1) Boston Red Sox
2) Tampa Bay Rays*
3) New York Yankees
4) Toronto Blue Jays
5) Baltimore Orioles

David "MVP" Eckstein
1) Boston Red Sox
2) Tampa Bay Rays*
3) Toronto Blue Jays
4) New York Yankees
5) Baltimore Orioles

The 'Bright' One
1) Boston Red Sox
2) Tampa Bay Rays*
3) New York Yankees
4) Toronto Blue Jays
5) Baltimore Orioles

Cubsfan4evr1
1) Boston Red Sox
2) Tampa Bay Rays*
3) New York Yankees
4) Toronto Blue Jays
5) Baltimore Orioles

NL West

Sexy Rexy
1) Colorado Rockies
2) San Francisco Giants
3) Los Angeles Dodgers
4) Arizona Diamondbacks
5) San Diego Padres

David "MVP" Eckstein
1) Colorado Rockies
2) San Francisco Giants
3) San Diego Padres
4) Los Angeles Dodgers
5) Arizona Diamondbacks

The 'Bright' One
1) Colorado Rockies
2) San Francisco Giants
3) Los Angeles Dodgers
4) San Diego Padres
5) Arizona Diamondbacks

Cubsfan4evr1
1) San Francisco Giants
2) Los Angeles Dodgers
3) Colorado Rockies
4) San Diego Padres
5) Arizona Diamondbacks

NL Central

Sexy Rexy
1) Milwaukee Brewers
2) Cincinatti Reds
3) St. Louis Cardinals
4) Chicago Cubs
5) Houston Astros
6) Pittsburgh Pirates

David "MVP" Eckstein
1) Milwaukee Brewers
2) Cincinatti Reds
3) Chicago Cubs
4) St. Louis Cardinals
5) Houston Astros
6) Pittsburgh Pirates

The 'Bright' One
1) Chicago Cubs
2) Milwaukee Brewers*
3) Cincinnati Reds
4) St. Louis Cardinals
5) Houston Astros
6) Pittsburgh Pirates
Quote from TBO: I am biased as shit

Cubsfan4evr1
1) Milwaukee Brewers
2) Cincinatti Reds
3) Chicago Cubs
4) St. Louis Cardinals
5) Houston Astros
6) Pittsburgh Pirates

NL East

Sexy Rexy
1) Philadelphia Phillies
2) Florida Marlins*
3) Atlanta Braves
4) Washington Nationals
5) New York Mets

David "MVP" Eckstein
1) Philadelphia Phillies
2) Atlanta Braves*
3) Florida Marlins
4) Washington Nationals
5) New York Mets

The 'Bright' One
1) Philadelphia Phillies
2) 2) Atlanta Braves
3) Washington Nationals
4) Florida Marlins
5) New York Mets

Cubsfan4evr1
1) Philadelphia Phillies
2) Atlanta Braves*
3) Florida Marlins
4) New York Mets
5) Washington Nationals

WORLD SERIES PREDICTION

Sexy Rexy
Milwaukee Brewers def. Tampa Bay Rays

David "MVP" Eckstein
Atlanta Braves def. Tampa Bay Rays

The 'Bright' One
Chicago Cubs def. Boston Red Sox

Cubsfan4evr1
Philadelphia Phillies def. Boston Red Sox

Sexy Rexy's Fantasy Advice: 2011 Pitching Rankings

UPDATE: I have updated my list and rankings from my original post
_______________________________________

I personally think my best skill set for fantasy baseball purposes is ranking pitchers. It's why I was first in the GOI auction league last year in ERA and WHIP and my knowledge helped me stream pitchers in my head-to-head keeper league that allowed me not only to win the counting stats, but to do so without hurting my ratio stats.

So now that all of my leagues have completed their drafts, I feel safe to announce my rankings. I understand that with baseball four days away chances are these rankings are not going to help anyone out (because the vast majority of people have completed their drafts) but I like having my opinion on the record.

Before we begin, I'd just like to say that coming up with all these pitchers is hard freaking work. We all can rank top 30, but it was a struggle to come up with 100 names.

Now, let the hating begin!

Top 100 Mixed League Pitchers

1) Tim Lincecum
2) Roy Halladay
3) Jon Lester
4) Felix Hernandez
5) Josh Johnson
6) Cliff Lee
7) Clayton Kershaw
8) Javier Vazquez
9) C.C. Sabathia
10) Francisco Liriano
11) Dan Haren
12) Yovani Gallardo
13) Zach Grienke (I'm a little pissed that Grienke got injured because I believed that Gallardo would put up better fantasy numbers than Grienke before the injury. On the plus side, I got Grienke for cheap in the GOI auction league)
14) Justin Verlander
15) Max Scherzer
16) Cole Hamels
17) Ubaldo Jiminez
18) Tommy Hanson
19) Chris Carpenter
20) Mat Latos
21) Shaun Marcum
22) Gavin Floyd
23) Jered Weaver
24) Wandy Rodriguez
25) Hiroki Kuroda
26) Roy Oswalt
27) Colby Lewis
28) Ryan Dempster
29) Daniel Hudson
30) Josh Beckett
31) Wade Davis
32) Brett Anderson
33) Matt Cain
34) David Price
35) Jorge De La Rosa
36) Clay Buchholz
37) Madison Bumgarner
38) Jhoulys Chacin
39) Chad Billingsley
40) Aaron Harang
41) Jeremy Hellickson
42) Jason Hammel
43) Travis Wood
44) Tim Hudson
45) James Shields
46) Trevor Cahill
47) Jonathan Sanchez
48) Brandon Webb
49) Edison Volquez
50) Jake Peavy
51) Ted Lilly
52) Jaime Garcia
53) Phil Hughes
54) John Danks
55) Gio Gonzalez
56) Ricky Nolasco
57) Ricky Romero
58) C.J. Wilson
59) Edwin Jackson
60) Clayton Richard
61) Matt Garza
62) Ian Kennedy
63) Scott Baker
64) Phil Coke
65) A.J. Burnett
66) Joel Piniero
67) Jordan Zimmerman
68) Johnny Cueto
69) Kyle Drabek
70) Brian Matusz
71) Rich Harden
72) John Lackey
73) Anibal Sanchez
74) Carl Pavano
75) Brett Myers
76) Kyle McClellan
77) J.A. Happ
78) Brian Duensing
79) Bronson Arroyo
80) Tim Stauffer
81) Chris Young
82) Ervin Santana
83) Carlos Zambrano
84) Jair Jurrgens
85) Dallas Braden
86) Brandon Morrow
87) Brad Penny
88) Mike Leake
89) Derek Lowe
90) R.A. Dickey
91) Ivan Nova
92) Carlos Carasco
93) Marc Rzepczynski
94) Mike Pelfrey
95) Derek Holland
96) Dice-K
97) Jeremy Guthrie
98) Jon Garland
99) Jake Westbrook
100) Fausto Carmona

I'd be more than happy to put some board bet wagers based upon my list

TBO's Next Great Rapper: Dorrough

Find more DORROUGH songs at Myspace Music

Find more artists like DORROUGH at Myspace Music

Find more artists like DORROUGH at Myspace Music

Find more artists like DORROUGH at Myspace Music

Find more artists like DORROUGH at Myspace Music

Closers And Their Team's Records

There's a widely held belief that closers on crappy teams are often better candidates in fantasy baseball because they will have more opportunities to close games. The logic is that even the worst baseball teams will win at least 65-70 games and considering the teams these closers are on are so bad, at least half of those games will be won by three runs or less- giving the closer on the crappy team many opportunities to get save opportunities and saves.

Well I don't buy it.

I wish I was smarter so I can do regression analysis or some mathematical formula to prove or disprove this theory, but sadly I can not. However, what I can do is present empirical data to help prove my point.

Personally, I am under the belief that closers will nail down saves based upon how talented and healthy they are- independent of how talented the other 24 men on their roster are. If you are healthy all season then that presents more opportunities you can get to save games and if you are talented enough you will not only have the skill to not allow runs (and thus get a save) but the chance another bullpen pitcher on your team will become the team's closer will decrease.

Here's a list of guys who were top ten in saves from the past three years.

A quick explanation of the organization of this list. The first number represents how many saves the closer got. The number in "[]" represents how many save opportunities the closer got and the number in "()" after the pitcher's name represents how many wins his team got.

2010
1) 48 [53]- Brian Wilson (92)
2) 47 [50]- Heath Bell (90)
3) 45 [48]- Rafeal Soriano (96)
4) 43 [46]- Joakim Soria (67)
5) 42 [49]- Matt Capps (multiple teams)
6) 40 [41]- Fransisco Cordero (91)
7) 40 [43]- Neftali Feliz (90)
8) 38 [43]- Carlos Marmol (75)
9) 37 [44]- Billy Wagner (91)
10) 37 [44]- Jonathan Papelbon (89)
11) 37 [43]- Kevin Gregg (66)

2009
1) 48 [55]- Brian Fuentes (97)
2) 47 [52]- Joe Nathan (87)
3) 44 [46]- Mariano Rivera (103)
4) 42 [48]- Heath Bell (75)
5) 39 [43]- Fransisco Cordero (78)
6) 38 [43]- Ryan Franklin (91)
7) 38 [41]- Jonathan Papelbon (95)
8) 38 [42]- David Aardsma (85)
9) 38 [45]- Brian Wilson (88)
10) 37 [41]- Trevor Hoffman (80)

2008
1) 62 [69]- Fransisco Rodriguez (100)
2) 44 [51]- Jose Valverde (86)
3) 42 [45]- Joakim Soria (75)
4) 41 [41]- Brad Lidge (92)
5) 41 [46]- Jonathan Papelbon (95)
6) 41 [47]- Brian Wilson (72)
7) 39 [45]- Joe Nathan (88)
8) 39 [40]- Mariano Rivera (89)
9) 34 [40]- Kerry Wood (97)
10) 34 [40]- Fransisco Cordero (74)

Let's break this down even further and gather some fun analysis from this. Out of the 30 closers (although 31 closers were mentioned, I am not including Matt Capps'2010 numbers because he was traded from one of baseball's worst teams to a division winner):

- 73.3% of closers were on a team who finished above .500 (22)
- 26.7% of closers were on a team who finished below .500 (8)
- 46.7% of closers were on a team who finished with 90 wins or more (14)
- 53.3% of closers were on a team who finished with 89 wins or less (16)
- 46.7% of closers were on a team who made it to the playoffs (14)
- 53.3% of closers were on a team who did not make it to the playoffs (16)

At least in recent years, there seems to be no evidence that in order for a closer to rack up the saves, he needs to be on a team that does not get many wins.

The best indicator of closers to become top ten in saves seems to be that their team needs to win at least 82 games. Only eight times was a closer top ten in saves yet his team was under .500 (twice for Joakim Soria and twice for Fransisco Cordero)

When you break the teams even further away from the crappy teams vs. the elite teams you start to see a slight shift in favor of the "you want closers on crappy teams" argument. However, the recent data suggests that this shift is not so wide as not warrant the assumption that closers on bad teams are more valuable or in some way suggest an inverse correlation between how many wins a team has and how many saves the team's closer has.

Only once in the past three years was a closer top ten in saves yet his team's record was bottom five in the league and that was in 2010 where Joakim Soria was 4th in saves yet the Royals had the 5th worst record in baseball.

In the past three seasons the perennial bottom feeders of the league have been the: Pittsburgh Pirates, Washington Nationals, Baltimore Orioles, Kansas City Royals, and Seattle Mariners. Yet only one of these teams has a closer that fits this widely held belief- Joakim Soria. The reason Soria is so good consistently is not because of the team he's on, but because he's one of the top five (if not top three) most talented closers in the game right now.

Before I close, I would like to isolate two closers: Brian Wilson and Fransisco Cordero. Both guys have kept their teams' closer job throughout their career, have gotten consistent save chances, and have been on awful teams and playoff teams. I'd like to do this analysis to show how their teams' winning percentage have affected how many saves they get.

Brian Wilson
2010- Saves: 48 out of 53; Giants wins: 92
2009- Saves: 38 out of 45; Giants wins: 88
2008- Saves: 41 out of 47; Giants win: 72

The year the Giants won the World Series and had their best record in the past three years was also the same year Brian Wilson had a career year in saves and save opportunities. But really, you see the wide disparity between the amount of wins San Fran has had over the past few years yet you do not see that big of a disparity between the save opportunities and the amount of saves Brian Wilson has gotten in that same time frame.

Fransisco Cordero
2010- Saves: 40 out of 48; Reds wins: 91
2009- Saves: 39 out of 43; Reds wins: 78
2008- Saves: 34 out of 40; Reds wins: 74
2007- Saves: 44 out of 51; Brewers wins: 83
2005- Saves: 37 out of 45; Rangers wins: 79
2004- Saves: 49 out of 54; Rangers wins: 89

For Cordero, there seems to be no correlation to how many wins his team gets and how many save opportunities and successful saves he gets.

Both Cordero and Wilson seems to be disprove the notion that you want a closer on a team that doesn't get a lot of wins.

Listen, I'm more than happy to be proven wrong. I fully admit this post and my reasoning is not very scientific. But it seems to me that people who support this notion have no proof to back it up.

All I know is that when I draft closers, I look for guys who are talented and who I think will not lose their jobs to anchor my relief core. I don't look to see how many wins their team will have. In fact, for most of the teams in the league, the amount of wins they're projected to get look wildly different than the amount of wins they actually get.

Sure, I have guys like Frank Fransisco who are injury risks and not all that talented; however, they not only are NOT my team's top two relief pitcher and I also have grabbed their back up (in this case Jon Rauch). Also, I will never ever ever draft a closer like Joe Blow (d.b.a. Joe Borowski) who are awful pitchers yet have "the closer job".

A 2011 Experts League Roster Listing

Round One of March Madness: Archer Quotes Edition

By a whooping three votes to one the quote "Obviously the core concept" by Sterling Archer beat out "So don't be surprised if you find yourself eating a whole bunch of spiderwebs" by Archer in the play-in game. This landslide victory makes sense considering the 'core concept' quote probably shouldn't have even been in the play-in game as evidenced by the fact that I have made the quote a 3 seed.

You can view the full bracket below (click to enlarge)



Sterling Archer by far and away leads this list with one liner quotes considering (A) he's the star of the show and (B) most of the funny stuff said by the other cast members are either not one liners or set ups to Archer's one liners.

Here's a breakdown of quotes by character and episode

CHARACTERS
- Sterling Archer: (12)
- Malory Archer: (1)
- Pam: (1)
- Nikolai Jackov: (1)
- Ray Gillette: (1)

EPISODES
- Skytantic (4)
- Pilot (4)
- Swiss Miss (2)
- Diversity Hire (1)
- Dial M For Mother (1)
- The Double Deuce (1)
- A Going Concern (1)
- Multiple Episodes (2) ("Danger Zone" and "Sploosh" appear in more than one episode)

It should be no shock that Skytanic and the pilot have the most quotes because they have been the two funniest episodes of the series

AND NOW, TIME TO VOTE!
Please cast two votes per each four question poll so you should have voted on eight total quotes. Please only vote for one 1/4 seed quote and one 2/3 seed quote.

ISIS Division



ODEN Division



KGB Division



German Hitman Division



Some other funny quotes/ one-lines from Season Two that didn't make the bracket

- Malory: Immigrants. Cramming their low riders full of free health care and... snow

-Archer: She doesn't look like she's just turning 17.
Lana: No, she looks like she's just turning 18.
Archer: Exactly. Plus Europeans use the metric system...

- Cheryl: So, Krieger's a doctor.
Cyril: Not the medical kind!
Krieger: Not even the other kind... technically.

-Flight Attendant: Sir, can you please find your seat?
Archer: Uh yeah, it's right there. Can you go find some more hurricanes for me?

-Archer: Because I told you to buy lemon curd, Woodhouse. Now what am I going to spread on my toast? Your tears?

-Cyril: I have one bullet left.
George Spelvin: He does?
Archer: Who am I? Count Bulletsula? Like Dracula. That was bad. Come back to me. I can do better

-Trinet: What are you going to do with [the wee baby Seamus]?
-Archer: I don't know?... What's he in to?

-Trinet: You can't tattoo a baby!
Archer: That's what the tattoo guy said. I had to slip him an extra hundred bucks!

TBO Showing Off His Sweet Jumper

Alex Trebek Most Sophisticated Sports Announcer

March Madness: Archer Quotes Edition

March Madness and the NCAA basketball tournament is upon us, so of course it's time for some fake bracket stuff. Friend of the blog D.B. had a genius idea- to create a NCAA bracket style tournament full of Archer quotes. And considering Archer was the comedy that the Game Of Inches fans voted was the best comedy currently airing, why not do this.

I considered expanding this bracket to 32 quotes, and it's entirely possible to come up with 15 more quotes (and not have the play in game) but realistically voting on that many quotes is a huge freaking hassle. So D.B. and myself have limited the tournament to 17 quotes.

After hours of research, I have discovered a lot of funny dialogue and lines that are funny, but need a step up to them so sadly they were dismissed. This tournament is limited solely to one liners. (I included the set up to one of the "play-in games" below just to have the quote originally make more sense, but the Archer response is a funny line in and of itself).

If you do not watch Archer, please do not vote. And also go out and start watching Archer. For starters though, feel free to vote for the play-in game.

I have also posted the 16 team bracket. I won't make the bracket "official" until the play-in game has been decided. I'm still open to hearing argument about the ranking of quotes and which quotes should be left on or off. But keep in mind, I'm only using 15 more quotes and there are funny lines that I have left off; inevitably there will be funny lines not included in the bracket. Also, I am known for getting quotes wrong so if you have found that I have mangled a quote, please tell me before I make the bracket official.

(Click to enlarge)


If you need clarification on the origin of the quote, just let me know.

And now, let the voting begin!

Confessions Of An Indie Kid: DME's Ten Favorite Bands

As an indie-music person who periodically blogs about things other than baseball (I used to be an entertainment critic before I went to Law School and started writing for Game Of Inches and The Hardball Times, after all), I thought it might be interesting to write about my ten favorite bands of all time. This list is not intented to capture the ten best (objectively speaking) or even the ten more talented bands in the history of music. That sort of list would be entirely too long and hard to craft, too controversial to accurately rank. Rather, I present herein the ten bands I listen to most, have the most respect for, and more inspire me. Anyone who knows me knows I have a diverse taste in music that encompasses everything under the sun short of most country music, gospel, and "gansta rap" (though I particularly love that 80's sound). I have a penchant for many bands not on this list, ranging from Talking Heads, Queen, T. Rex, and The Rolling Stones to Black Sabbath, The Smiths, and Depeche Mode to Friendly Fires, MGMT, Daft Pink, Vampire Weekend, The Decemberists, and VHS or Beta (just to name a very select few). A band's omission from this list does not mean that I do not like them or that I find no inspiration from them. Rather, it just means there are some other bands that, for whatever subjective reason, better capture my fancy. I've intentionally omitted The Beatles because, as one of my friends once said, "The Beatles are everyone favorite band, and if you deny that, you either have never listened to them or you are a liar. However, if you say that The Beatles are you favorite band, you are a tool."

This in mind, here's my top 10.

#10. Bruce Springsteen (1972-Present)

Bruce Springsteen can be summed up in one chant: "Bruuuuuuuce." He's the boss, the king of the proletariat, the champion of blue-collar rock and roll in the United States. Pick up any of the Boss's classic album from Born In The USA to The River to Nebraska to Born To Run or check out modern singles like The Wrestler, Radio Nowhere, and The Rising, and you will understand why Bruce does is not just one of American rock and roll's most popular figures, but also why he's one of, if not the, greatest musicians in American history. Bruce's lyrics dig deep into American culture, touching on that which touches us all, while the music itself touches the heart and ears of listeners, belting out great beats and strong riffs that, despite the murky undertones, keep you upbeat. In the style of Billy Joel meets Bob Dylan meets U2, most of Bruce's catalog is "classic." Bruce Springsteen pioneered the arena rock sound that the 80's lived-and-died by, but though the 80's largely dead, Bruce, as his recent Superbowl appearance can attest, is still alive and doing that same ol' thing he's always been great at doing. Bruce recently released a record of previously unreleased songs from the Darkness On The Edge of Town sessions called The Promise, and I highly recommend giving it a listen when you get the chance.

Major hits: Born In The USA, Dancing In The Dark, Glory Days, Born To Run, Tenth Avenue Freeze Out, Hungry Heart, The River, Human Touch, Radio Nowhere, Blinded By The Light, The Wrestler

If you must own one album: Born In The USA

#9. Arcade Fire (2003-Present)

They only have three full albums to their credit, but each has been progressively better than the last. With their first album Funeral, Arcade Fire was reminisce of Neutral Milk Hotel with an attitude. Listen to the NMH song In The Aeroplane Over The Sea and tell me you are not reminded of the Arcade Fire song Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels). The song Wake Up from Funeral is still one of Arcade Fire's best. Three years later, frontman Win Butler and crew followed up Funeral with Neon Bible, an album that sounds like a modern version of a Bruce Springsteen's Born In The USA. It is hard enough to follow up an album like Funeral, let alone top it. Some critics might disagree with a statement that Neon Bible is better than Funeral (their Metacritic ratings are very close), but Neon Bible undoubted produced more radio-friendly singles. Keep The Car Running, No Cars Go and Intervention are just some of the albums many highlights. Like Neon Bible, Arcade Fire would take another three years to release another album of new material, but the wait was well worth it. Their Grammy-winning album The Suburbs took the musical brilliance of Neon Bible, the lyrical and thematic genius of Funeral, and mixed it with contemporary and idealized American nostalgia to produce not only the best album of 2010, but one of the best alternative indie rock records to date. The Suburbs has received universal acclaim, and if you have not yet heard it, you simply must. The album, front to back, is one you won't be able to put down. If you want an idea of what the album sounds like, check out Sprawl II or Ready To Start. The band has yet to disappoint with any of their offerings and at this point in their career, the sky still seems like the limit. Bands with as strong and appealing a catalog of music as Arcade Fire are rare, which is why they make my top 10 artists list.

Major hits: Wake Up, No Cars Go, Sprawl II, Keep The Car Running, Intervention, Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels), Rebellion (Lies), Black Wave/Bad Vibrations, The Suburbs, Month Of May, Ready To Start, Modern Man, Neighborhood #3 (Power Out), Crown Of Love
If you must own one album: The Suburbs

#8. Led Zeppelin (1968-1980)

Arising out of the ashes of one blues rocks' more underrated 60's acts, The Yardbirds (which also featured Jeff Beck and Eric Clapton at various points in the band's tenure), Led Zeppelin released their first album in 1968 and has been an essential staple of rock music ever since. I know that similar logic to omitting the Beatles should apply to Led Zeppelin, but the sheer awesomeness of Jimmy Page's heavier-than-blues guitar riffs, Robert Plant's magnificent voice, the explosive drums of John Bonham, and the innovative bass lines and keyboard work of John Paul Jones are a force that simply cannot be ignored. Pick up any of Led Zeppelin's first six albums, and you will not find yourself clicking the skip button for any track (well, unless you are a 14 year old girl who loves Miley Cyrus). Everyone knows Stairway To Heaven, The Immigrant Song, Black Dog, and Rock And Roll, but some of Led Zeppelin's best tracks, and some of my favorites, are their "lesser" known ones: Hey Hey What Can I Do, Goin' To California, Over The Hills And Far Away, When The Levee Breaks, Travelling Riverside Blues, and What Is And Should Never Be. Led Zeppelin has a reputation as one of the greatest live acts of all time for a reason as well -- check out the live album How The West Was Won. It is easily one of Zeppelin's three best album, with the Whole Lot Of Love Medley (a heavy rock-jam), Goin' To California, and the extended freak-out rendition of Dazed And Confused being particular highlights of the album. Yes, everyone knows the name of Led Zeppelin, but few are familiar with all of their tracks. Take the time to learn them, I promise you will not be disappointed.

Major hits: Stairway To Heaven, Hey Hey What Can I Do, Whole Lotta Love, Dazed And Confused, Rock And Roll, Over The Hills And Far Away, The Immigrant Song, Since I've Been Loving You, Kashmir
If you must own one album: Led Zeppelin IV

#7. Cut Copy (2002-Present)

Cut Copy is best described as what New Order would sound like if they existed today and exclusively made dance songs, rather than dabble in Synth Rock and Dance Punk from time to time. Cut Copy does not just make great music, however, they also make great remixes. Their latest album, Zonoscope, is a testament to the entirely underrated retro 80's sound that is coming out of Austrialia/New Zealand (think a modern INXS and Men At Work meets OMD and the electro-house genre) along with contemporaries Empire Of The Sun, Ladyhawke, Van She, Midnight Juggernauts, and The Presets. As great as Zonoscope is in it's own right, however, it does not come near close to one of the best albums of the 2000's decade -- Cut Copy's 2008 album In Ghost Colours. In Ghost Colours is a rare album with a few great radio-friendly singles (Hearts On Fire, Lights & Music, Feel The Love) that are surrounded by strong complementing songs that, like Monty Python's Holy Grail or a fine wine, get better and better, dancier and dancier, with every listen. I saw Cut Copy play the same show twice in two days last summer at both Lollapalooza and the Lollapalooza aftershow, and though the music was the same, the party was cumulatively ridiculous. I do not think I've ever seen as many people having as much fun singing and dancing in one place as I did at the Cut Copy's Lollapalooza set in 2010. Maybe at Girl Talk's New Years Eve show, but even then I doubt it.

Major hits: Hearts On Fire, Lights & Music, Feel The Love, Saturdays, Far Away, Out The On The Ice, Need You Now, Take Me Over, The Twilight, Where I'm Going, Pharaohs & Pyramids, Time Stands Still, So Haunted, Midnight Juggernaught's "45 And Rising" (Cut Copy Remix), Van She's "Kelly" (Cut Copy remix), Cansei De Ser Sexy's "Move" (Cut Copy Remix), The Juan Maclean's "Happy House" (Cut Copy Remix)

If you must own one album: In Ghost Colours

#6. Of Montreal (1996-Present)

In the early/mid-1990's, Athens, Georgia was the hub of the emerging indie pop/rock scene. With a love for the Beach Boys and similar sounds of the 1960s psych-pop, the Elephant 6 movement, named after the independent record label that produced most of the emerging Athens talent, featured such indie staples as The Apples In Stereo, Neutral Milk Hotel, and Olivia Tremor Control. Of Montreal emerged out of the second wave of the Elephant 6 movement, and has been flourishing as one of indie pop's most "mainstream" and extravagant acts ever since. Of Montreal is too eclectic a band to distill beyond an "indie" genre label. They are a unique blend of cross-dressing glam pop and rock, funk, psychedelia, and even afropop. Think David Bowie meets the Beatles meets Prince, all while doing acid. That's really the only way to describe Of Montreal and its lead musical force, it's primary songwriter and frontman, Kevin Barnes. For better or worse, no two Of Monteal albums are alike. Their early work is very psych-pop, which I am not personally partial too (though there are some great early singles like Of Montreal's cover of Yoko Ono titled I Felt Like Smashing My Face Through A Clear Glass Window or Old People In The Cemetery), but it is their later work that truly shines as utterly, undeniably, and indispensably brilliant. Starting with Satanic Panic In The Attic in 2004, Of Montreal's past five albums have been nothing short of a sexy party for your ears and feet. Even Of Montreal's relatively disappointing Skeletal Lamping, their follow up to the "unfollowupable" Hissing Fauna Are You The Destroyer?, was a strong listen riddled with great singles. Of Montreal recently returned to form with False Priest in 2010, featuring "up and coming" Janelle Monae on one brilliant track. If for no other reason than Hissing Fauna, one of the greatest beginning-to-end concept albums of all time and probably the best album of the 2000's decade, Of Montreal deserves recognition as band with immensely underrated talent. As great as of Of Montreal's modern albums are, however, they are not best known for their studio work. To the contrary, they are known for routinely staging some of the weirdest, most decadent, and dancey live shows of any modern act. From bizarre costumes and makeup, to sex wars, to people in animal suits pretending having sex, to Kevin Barnes getting nude or cross dressing, Of Montreal's shows are nothing short of a unique vaudeville experience. I highly suggest seeing Of Montreal live, even if you do not know their music (that's how I got into them), because Kevin Barnes and crew (and their psych-80's style) are guaranteed to have you dancing on the dance floor.

Major hits: Disconnect The Dots, Requiem For O.M.M.2, So Begins Our Alabee, A Sentence Of Sorts In Kongsvinger, An Eludarian Instance, Suffer For Fashion, She's A Rejector, Gronlandic Edit, Wraith Pinned To The Mist And Other Games, Rapture Rapes The Muses, Coquet Coquette, Enemy Gene, I Fell Ya' Strutter, Forecast Fascist Future

If you must own one album: Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer?

#5. The Killers (2002-Present)

The Killers were on of the bands that lead the retro-postpunk/new wave/synth rock movement of the early 2000s. Taking their band name from the fictional backing band from the music video to the song Crystal by New Order, The Killers are the perfect bands to inherent the sound that New Order pioneered throughout the 80’s. The Killers have evolved from being a new wave/synth rock band with their release of Hot Fuss in 2004 to a space rock outfit doing their best Bruce Springsteen impression with their latest release Day & Age. Brandon Flower’s talk-song crooning eerily emulates and echoes Bernard Sumner (with a hint of Lou Reed/Dire Straits influence), and while some think he and the Killers are too derivative (particularly Pitchfork), I happen to find them one of the more refreshing and all around entertaining modern-era bands to listen to on a regular basis. I saw them live at Lollapalooza a few years ago and can’t wait to see them again.

Major hits: Somebody Told Me, Mr. Bright Side, Somebody Told me, All These Things That I've Done, Romero & Juliet (cover), When You Were Young, Read My Mind, Shadowplay (cover), For Reasons Unknown, Sam's Town, Spaceman, Human, Ruby Don’t Take Your Love To Town (cover)

If you must own one album: Hot Fuss

#4. Pink Floyd (1965-1996)

Pink Floyd The Wall is probably my favorite album of all time. It is the best and perfect example of lyrical brilliance backed by great vocals and artistic, yet appealing musical compositions. The Wall, a disillusioning, bleak, and dystopian tale of isolation, not fitting in, and misunderstanding, is the brainchild and masterpiece of Roger Waters, the lead songwriter, co-frontman, and “bassist” (David Gilmore, the band’s Guitarist, did all the hard bass work) of Pink Floyd. If you are not a casual Pink Floyd fan, you probably best know the album for the songs Brick In The Wall Part 2 and Uncomfortably Numb.

Beyond The Wall, the band is also and probably best-known for Darkside Of The Moon. Even if you’ve never heard the album (which you should), you undoubtedly recognize it’s infamous cover, know it apparently syncs up to The Wizard Of Oz (never tried it), and associate it with filthy hippies. Regardless of its pop-culture status and associates, the album is brilliant and composed largely from beginning to end as one song. In fact, most of Pink Floyd’s albums are similarly composed concept albums, best though of one long song broken into digestible chunks. Wish You Were Here is another great and favorite Pink Floyd album of mine, and it probably features their second-best known song, the eponymous Wish You Were Here.

The rest of Pink Floyd’s catalogue is not as well known, but I nonetheless hold everyone of their albums, including their two post-Roger Waters albums, in the highest esteem. If you like Pink Floyd, I also highly suggest you check out Rogers Waters’ solo albums. In particular, Radio K.A.O.S. and The Pros And Cons Of Hitchhiking are brilliant masterpieces that sound like lost Pink Floyd albums. Call them overrated if you want, but Pink Floyd, like the Beatles, earned their reputation.

Major hits: Another Brick In The Wall (Part 2), Wish You Were Here, Comfortably Numb, Money, Run Like Hell, Young Lust, Us And Them, One Of These Days, Time, Keep Talking, Learning To Fly, What Do You Want From Me, Sheep

If you must own one album: The Wall (alternatively, there is Dark Side Of The Moon)

#3. Guns N’ Roses (1985-Present)

In 1987, the year I was born, Guns N’ Roses unleashed Appetite For Destruction on the world. With vile, violent, and vocally talented Axl Rose at the helm and guitar god Slash shredding out some of rock and roll’s best riffs of all time, Guns N’ Roses blew away the glam rock scene that dominated the late 80’s with a revival of the hard rock tunes that birthed the rock genre. Slash’s guitar, Axl voice, and Izzy Stradlin’s pen gave music some of the best hard rock songs of all time: Welcome To The Jungle, Paradise City, Sweet Child O' Mine, Mr. Brownstone, Nightrain, Mr. Brownstone, It’s So Easy, My Michelle, Anything Goes, and Rocket Queen. And that was just Appetite For Destruction. After Appetite for Destruction, Guns N’ Roses would release three more albums in four years, featuring such original hits as Patience, Don't Cry, Shotgun Blues, and Use Your Illusions ballads November Rain, Estranged, Civil War and Yesterdays. Guns N’ Roses also released some of rocks best cover songs in Live And Let Die (Paul McCartney), Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door (Bob Dylan), Sympathy For The Devil (Rolling Stones), and Buick Mackane (T. Rex).

Axl's potassium-in-water personality finally drove a deep riff in the band in 1994, resulting in the band's hiatus and a fifteen-year gap between albums with new material. Axl and Slash developed irreconcilable differences, resulting in his departure, while Axl’s me-me-me ego alienated the rest of the band. Between 1994 and 2008, when Guns N’ Roses released its sixth studio album, Chinese Democracy, Axl rotated through a plethora of temporary band members, essentially converting Guns N’ Roses into his own solo project. 2008’s Chinese Democracy was not well-received by fans or critics, and many were disappointed by the quality of the material in light of Guns N’ Roses older and vintage material. Nonetheless I, and many others, loved the new album on its own merits. Chinese Democracy had a few weak moments like I.R.S, but the album’s flurry of other great songs like Riad N' the Bedouins, Sorry, Shackler's Revenge, Better, and the eponymous Chinese Democracy more than made up for those weaker moments.

Though Guns N’ Roses is no longer the band it once was, and though Axl Rose may be the biggest jerk in rock and roll, GNR’s older tunes are still, hands down, some of rock music’s heaviest and best of all time.

Major hits: Welcome To The Jungle, Paradise City, Sweet Child O' Mine, Mr. Brownstone, Nightrain, Mr. Brownstone, Patience, November Rain, Estranged, Civil War, Yesterdays, Live And Let Die, Sympathy For The Devil, Riad N' the Bedouins, Sorry, Shackler's Revenge, Better

If you must own one album: Appetite For Destruction

#2. David Bowie (1964-Present)

If anyone invented the word “versatility,” it was the ever-evolving persona and music of David Bowie. Bowie began his career in the mid-60’s as a folksy cover artist before turning to proggy space rock/pop with Space Oddity a few years later (belting out his first-fan favorite, Space Oddity). Then the 1970's rolled around and Bowie began pioneering the glam scene. He started off relatively mellow with the Man Who Sold The World (the first “Bowie” sounding album) and Hunky Dory (Bowie’s first of many great albums), but in 1972, with the help of rock guitarist Mick Ronson and women’s clothing, Bowie created one of the greatest rock albums of all time: The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust. Ziggy Stardust, a concept album that details the decadent adventure of a space alien rockstar sent to inspire hope upon the earth in its last five years of existence, is one of those rare albums that is great from beginning to end, where you can’t put it down until it’s done, and when it is done, you want more. I’d be inclined to put Bowie on my list top/favorite artists of all time on the strength of Ziggy Stardust alone, but there’s plenty of other reasons he deserves a spot at the top, as he belted out hit record after hit record after Ziggy Stardust: some of his best albums include Aladdin Sane, Young Americans, Station To Station, Low, "Heroes", Lodger, Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps), Let's Dance. Though Bowie’s later records are not as “all around” great as his early and mid-career masterpieces, they are still riddled with strong singles such as I’m Afraid Of Americans, New Killer Star, Little Wonder, and Hallo Spaceboy. Bowie has successfully dabbled in many genres, from Folk to Glam Rock to Avante Garde and Rock to Industrial, and if it’s one thing we know other than he’s drop dead sexy, it’s that he’s a musical force to be reckoned with. Oh, and he was also in the super cheesy/awesome 80’s quasi-musical muppetfest that was Labyrinth. Bonus points for that.

Major hits: Ziggy Stardust, Rebel Rebel, The Man Who Sold The World, Changes, Life On Mars, Queen Bitch, Star Man, Five Years, Rock & Roll Suicide, Suffragette City, Soul Love, Drive-In Saturday, The Jean Genie, Heroes, The Secret Life Of Arabia, Fahion, Let's Dance, China Girl, Underground, Magic Dance, New Killer Star

If you must own one album: The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars

#1. New Order (1980-1993, 1998-2007)

You probably know them for Blue Monday or Bizarre Love Triangle, but I’ll forever know New Order as the band that melted my heart with their appearance on the soundtrack of Trainspotting (specifically the song Temptation). From early era new wave punk songs like Ceremony and Age of Consent to their dancier music like Sub-Culture and Bizarre Love Triangle to their more modern, “space rock” oriented songs like Crystal (the music video from which The Killers took their band name), New Order is a versatile band with many different sounds, all work. New Order previously existed as a protopunk/new wave band Joy Division (another great band) until lead singer Ian Curtis killed himself in 1980. Bernard Sumner, Joy Division’s guitarist, reluctantly took over as lead singer/songwriter and the band hasn’t looked back since, though they have since broken up. The combination of Bernard Sumner’s proletariat lyrics and Peter Hook’s catchy bass hooks form the perfect combination of music that entices your ears and feet to form my favorite band of all time. New Order currently exists as Bad Lieutenant, with Alex James (of Blur fame) replacing Peter Hook. Bad Lieutenant is still solid (check out their single Sink or Swim), but they come nothing close to vintage New Order. Fans of New Order should also check out the band Electronic, a collaboration between Bernard Sumner, Johnny Marr (the guitarist of the Smiths and current guitarist of Modest Mouse), and the Pet Shop Boys (with a splash of Kraftwerk on one album).

Major hits: Bizarre Love Triangle, Ceremony, Blue Monday ’88, Age of Consent, Temptation, Regret, Love Vigilantes, True Faith, 1963

If you must own one album: Substance 1987

On a side note, I just want to say a few words about The Talking Heads, the band that inspired this post earlier today. The Talking Heads are one of those bands that, when people mention them, you say “who?” but you go “oh, them!” when you hear one of their songs. Though their music, outside a handful of singles, is hardly “casual listening,” the band is all around musically entertaining and one of they are one of the more talented outfits in semi-modern pop/rock and art rock music. Their major hits include Psycho Killer, Burning Down The House, And She Was, Love → Building On Fire, Wild Wild Life, I Zimbra, Stay Hungry, Stay Up Late. If you must own one album, buy their live album The Name Of This Band Is Talking Heads.

Also, just because I wanted to also get it out of my system, here are my 10 favorite albums of all time:

10. Alive 2007 (Daft Punk, 2007): Daft Punk's already sick beats are remixed and intertwined to show the power of synergy.

9. Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix (Phoenix, 2009): Phoenix makes the leap from Strokes-wannabe to Of Montreal knock off to great effect.
8. Led Zeppelin IV (Led Zeppelin, 1971): One of first and best modern hard rock albums of all times, features most of Zeppelin's staple tunes.
7. In Ghost Colours (Cut Copy, 2008): Cut Copy's brilliant album of 80's inspired dance tunes is reminisce of late 80's New Order.
6. Bring On The Comets (VHS or Beta, 2007): VHS or Beta pioneered the retro dance punk/new wave/synth/space rock sound that The Killers have become famous for, but this album particularly shines as modern era's most glorious dance punk album to date.
5. Appetite For Destruction (Guns N' Roses, 1987): Before Nirvana killed the genre of 80's metal, there was Guns N' Roses and their first album, cover-to-cover, is unquestionably one of, if not the, greatest hard rock albums of all time.
4. The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars (David Bowie, 1972): Bowie's essential brainchild is the rock-and-roll bombshell that pioneered the glam rock sound of the 70's.
3. Substance 1987 (New Order, 1987): Honestly, each of New Order's various albums are riddled with great songs, but this compilation album features some of the best, and most of the essential, singles and remixes from New Order's 80's catalog (though there are plenty of great post-Substance songs as well!).
2. Hissing Fauna Are You The Destroyer? (Of Montreal, 2007): I'm a sucker for concept albums and Kevin Barnes' "ultimate break up album" is the zenith of Of Montreal's pop/rock/psych sound.
1. The Wall (Pink Floyd, 1979): The Wall is the Roger Waters' baby; the perfect blend of artistic integrity, deep lyrics, and brilliant music. Two words describe this album best: magnum opus.

Just Missed The Top 10 (in no particular order): Born In The USA (Bruce Springsteen, 1984), Oracular Spectacular (MGMT, 2007), Hatful Of Hollow (The Smiths, 1984), Day & Age (The Killers, 2008), The Suburbs (Arcade Fire, 2010)

Leave the love/hate in the comments.

Fantasy Elijah Dukes: Aaron Harang

For those of you new to GOI, there's a running gag here that a fantasy player who I claim is Elijah Dukes is essentially just my fantasy sleeper. True, in recent years, players who I have deemed to be my Elijah Dukes have not panned out. But it's probably fitting considering the year I claimed Elijah Dukes as my sleeper was the same year I paid 20 bucks for Baseball Prospectus which happened to coincide with BP's worst year ever for predicting fantasy players. But I digress.

Every year, for both fantasy football and fantasy baseball, I like to tout one player who you can get for a dollar in your auction draft, last round in your snake draft, or even better a player you can get in free agency. I've come to deem my Elijah Dukes player as stretch guys anyways so it's probably no surprise they tend to not work out. These are not guys who I think will be good, but flier guys who I think you should get if you have the roster room for them.

For the 2011 fantasy baseball season (and as the title obviously suggests) my Elijah Dukes is Aaron Harang.

If Harang doesn't work out, then Oh Well. You didn't pay that much to get him so it really was no skin off of your back. And if Harang does play well I'll be more than happy to play the reverse side of the coin and say it was a lucky call. I won't be, pardon my French, a little bitch and not take the blame if Harang doesn't pan out but turn around and call it my greatest call ever if he does.

The reason I like Harang is two-fold: The first (and main reason) is that Harang is now playing in the friendliest pitchers park in PETCO (San Diego) and the second is that he's not playing for Dusty Baker anymore.

Let me address my second point first: Aaron Harang is not playing for Dusty Baker anymore. Although I am not a Chicago Cubs fan, I saw first hand how Dusty destroys pitchers. Kerry Wood has revamped his career as a reliever (especially here in Chicago) but you still can't utter the words "Kerry Wood" or "Mark Prior" in the Chicagoland area without Cubs fans cringing knowing what potential Baker destroyed in these two promising kids.

I remember my sophomore year in college sitting around in my R.A.'s dorm room while DME and I were discussing baseball. The year was 2007 and Dusty Baker had just recently been hired by the Cincinnati Reds. Harang had just come off of a season where he went 16-11 with a 3.76 ERA, 1.27 WHIP, and a 8.3 K/9. DME was raving about Harang for the upcoming season while he was mock drafting and not paying attention to the conversation in the room and every five minutes our R.A. would yell at DME to shut up about fantasy baseball. I retorted back to DME that while I loved Harang's promise I would be staying away from Harang (and all Reds pitchers) because of the Dusty Baker signing. DME responded that Harang was a workhorse and Dusty wouldn't affect him and that Harang would be good for the upcoming season.

Well, DME was half right.

Harang was amazing in the upcoming season where he was 4th in NL Cy Young voting with a 16-6 record, 3.73 ERA, 1.14 WHIP, 8.5 K/9 all in 231.2 innings pitched. The reason I say DME was half right was because Dusty Baker did ruin Harang, but I was one year too early getting off the Aaron Harang bandwagon.

Over the next four seasons, Harang's innings pitched dropped from 231.2 in '07 to 184.1, 162.1, and 111.2 respectively. Harang's ERA ballooned over the same time frame from 3.73 to 4.78 to 4.21 to a career low last year with 5.32. Harang's WHIP also blew up going from 1.14 in 2007 to 1.38, 1.41, and 1.59 respectively the past few seasons. Needless to say Harang's HR/9 grew, his K/9 dropped as well as his K/BB ratio.

Now certainly there are a myriad of factors that could contribute to those poor numbers. But I blame Dusty Baker. Whether you think that opinion is rational or not is up to you, but not only does Dusty Baker have a history of ruining pitchers, I've seen Dusty force Harang into throwing too many pitches on too little days rest.

In fact, when I did a Google search of "Aaron Harang Dusty Baker" not only did I find instances where Baker threw Harang out after a rain delay and after Harang admitted to having dead arm, but I found an article written last year by DME entitled "Aldrois Chapman, Meet Dusty Baker" where DME analyzed Reds pitchers by their Pitcher Abuse Points and you can see how high Harang ranks among PAP. In fact, in that very same article, DME links to another article where he claims Dusty Baker broke Harang on May 22, 2008. DME writes:

As an owner of Harang last year, Baker's impact was extremely frustrating. As fangraphs notes, Baker used Harang pretty heavily early on, but he held together pretty well. That is until May, however, when Baker found a very creative way to break him. After having thrown 103 pitches through 5.1 innings on May 22, Baker called upon Harang to throw another 63 across four innings just three days later. Four days after that, Baker started Harang on four days rest, allowing him to throw 73 more pitches across four more innings of work.

Part of the reason that I am not all in on Harang is because it is entirely possible Dusty broke Harang for good. Kerry Wood came back but he had to do it as a reliever. Shoulda-beens Mark Prior and Jason Schmidt never came back. The most recent pitcher Dusty broke was Edison Volquez who is still on-and-off with injuries (Although admittedly I think Volquez' injuries would have happened with any manager). However, Harang is only 32. It's a tad old for my liking but certainly within the range of a comeback year. Call it a gut feeling, but I like Harang pitching outside the control of Dusty Baker.

The main reason I like Harang though is because he's pitching in PETCO park.

I would love to do an analysis (DME-style) where I tell you what Harang's WHIP, K/9 and ERA will be when factoring in Padres defense and park factors and such; however, I neither have the intellectual capacity to do such an in-depth analysis nor set constants to do such research.

For starters, I don't know where to begin with Harang. Ideally, one would use some baseline numbers before factoring in defense and park, but I don't know what Harang's are. I would like to use his 2006 and 2007 season numbers but I'm also an idealist. I truly don't know if Dusty full out broke Harang or Harang will revert back to form with new scenery. For the sake of my own personal fantasy team I'm taking the latter, but I just don't know. Secondly, the additions of Brad Hawpe, Orlando Hudson, and Jason Bartlett makes predicting San Diego's team UZR and USR/150 just a flat out guess. Thirdly, maybe someone can help me with this, but I just don't know how to translate PETCO's park effects to a pitcher's fantasy numbers.

But I will give you evidence (outside of your common knowledge about PETCO) to show just how good the park can have on fantasy pitchers. While there will always be a spot in my heart for Jon Garland (and a spot in my closet because I own a #20 shirt) as a White Sox fan, he truly is not a good pitcher. Garland has a career ERA of 4.32, 4.76 K/9, and a FIP of 4.47. Despite that, Garland, while calling San Diego home last year, had an ERA of 3.47 and a 6.12 K/9 with 14 wins.

I see no reason (if Harang is fully healthy and we use Harang's 2005-2007 average ERA) that Harang can't post a 3.4-3.5 ERA with a 8+ K/9 if he pitches for an entire season in a Padres uniform. Even if Harang performs like Clayton Richard did in 2010, we're still looking at 2007 Harang numbers.

Hopefully, in my long winded rant, I have convinced you to take a flier on Harang, or at the very least, if you have a guy go on the DL that you pick up Harang to fill a roster spot. At the minimum I hope you draft Harang in an NL-only league. If I have convinced you of that then I will have considered my job done a successful one.

Fantasy Doctor: AL West

On a recent podcast (which you can listen to here) all four Game Of Inches authors came together to podcast about the AL West.

Listen to the podcast for full in-depth analysis, but here are some brief notables to help you out with your fantasy team

Who Do You Think Will End Up With The Most Saves On The Rangers?
- Sexy Rexy: Darren Oliver
- DME: Alexi Ogando
- TBO: Neftali Feliz
- Cubsfan: Darren O'Day

Who Do You Think Will End Up With The Most Saves On The Angels?
- DME: Kevin Jepsen
- Sexy Rexy: Fernando Rodney
- TBO: Fernando Rodney
- Cubsfan: Fernando Rodney

Who Do You Think Will End Up With The Most Saves On The Mariners?
- Sexy Rexy: Brandon League
- DME: Brandon League
- TBO: David Aardsma
- Cubsfan: David Aardsma

Fantasy Nugget
- Oakland A's pitchers are nice sleepers. This rotation consists of Brett Anderson, Trevor Cahill, Gio Gonzalez, and Dallas Braden. Listen to the podcast for a more in depth discussion but all four are extremely talented but when you factor in talent + pitchers park + team built around defense, that equals fantasy pitching gold.

Early Board Bets for 2011

SexyRexy v. DME (beer bet)
Javier Vazquez a top 30 pitcher?
DME: no
SexyRexy: hellz yeahz


Cubsfan4ever v. DME (beer bet)
Oakland or Angels finish higher?
DME: Oakland
Cubsfan4ever: Angels

New Podcasts Up: AL West Preview

So instead of doing 30 posts we're going to be doing six podcasts instead to preview all 30 MLB teams. We here are Game Of Inches are firm believers that predictions are worthless and don't mean anything- so here are ours anyways.

You can listen to the podcast here
_____________________
If you want to download these or any of GOI's podcast's via iTunes just follow these instructions. Go to the iTunes store and type "Game Of Inches" into it. If you don't see the GOI logo (the one with the fuzzy black background and bright "GOI" lettering on it) then go to the left where it says "Filter By Media Type" and click on "Podcasts". You should see two logos. The second one has the newer podcasts.

PLAYERS NEEDED HELP WITH

Name	MDC Rank	Y! Rank	ESPN Rank
Brandon Belt	325	1127	XXXXXX
Bryce Harper	491	323	XXXXXX
Bud Norris	327	282	XXXXXX
Darren Oliver	1500	347	XXXXXX
Homer Bailey	344	272	XXXXXX
Ivan Nova	339	685	XXXXXX
Jason Hammel	372	691	XXXXXX
Jed Lowrie	318	866	XXXXXX
Joba Chamberlain	336	476	XXXXXX
Jon Rauch	399	345	XXXXXX
Jonathon Niese	229	266	XXXXXX
Josh Thole	316	938	XXXXXX
Kyle Farnsworth	334	391	XXXXXX
Mike Minor	250	712	XXXXXX
Mike Moustakas	343	289	XXXXXX
Ryan Hanigan	342	842	XXXXXX
Stephen Strasburg	318	341	XXXXXX
Tommy Hunter	346	348	XXXXXX

Fail

If I Could Turn Back Time: Oscars Editions

I was listening to a recent Bill Simmons podcast where he joked that like all Hall Of Fame voting, there needs to be a waiting period between when the movie comes out and when people actually get to vote on the Oscar nominations. Obviously this will never happen, but there's plenty of truth to this sentiment. After watching last Sunday's Oscars and seeing The Social Network getting fucked in the ass like a Hugh Grant hooker by The King's Speech, I'm really sick of the politicking that goes on in Hollywood for what wins and what does not.

Now I fully realize that my cries will fall on deaf ears. Not only is one blogger (who writes for a blog that no one reads) going to change anything, but like everything in life, the Oscars are driven by money. They need an award show to appeal to the masses. They nominate movies in order to help those movies make money. What can I say though, I have a great medium to bitch, so bitch I shall.

Part of the reason the Oscars are this way is because that's how it's always been. The format for nominating movies, the way the award ceremonies go, and even what type of hosts and speeches should be performed. It's all essentially more of the same.

Well that's not an acceptable excuse here at Game Of Inches (and really shouldn't be an acceptable excuse anywhere). Whether it's the way we look at baseball and football statistics or the way we look at the Oscars and its ceremony. If the old way of doing things is not the best result, then the old way of doing things should not be done.

Did Hugh Grant ever have anal sex with a prostitute? I don't know. Anyways, here's a list of the films and nominees that got screwed out of awards at the time and with the ability of foresight, we can now saw the Academy got it wrong.

BEST MOVIE

1941
What Should Have Won: Citizen Kane
What Did Win: How Green Was My Valley

1964
What Should Have Won: Dr. Strangelove
What Did Win: My Fair Lady

1971
What Should Have Won: A Clockwork Orange
What Did Win: The French Connection

1977
What Should Have Won: Star Wars
What Did Win: Annie Hall

1979
What Should Have Won It: Apocalypse Now
What Did Win: Kramer vs. Kramer

1980
What Should Have Won: Raging Bull
What Did Win: Ordinary People

1990
What Should Have Won: Goodfellas
What Did Win: Dances With Wolves

1994
What Should Have Won: (1a) The Shawshank Redemption, (1b) Pulp Fiction
What Did Win: Forrest Gump

1996
What Should Have Won: Fargo
What Did Win: The English Patient

1997
What Should Have Won: Good Will Hunting
What Did Win: Titanic

1998
What Should Have Won: Saving Private Ryan
What Did Win: Shakespeare In Love

2008
What Should Have Won: The Dark Knight*
What Did Win: Slumdog Millionaire

2009
What Should Have Won: Inglorious Basterds
What Did Win: The Hurt Locker

I will say that between The Hurt Locker and Avatar, I'm super glad The Hurt Locker took it, but I can't believe how screwed Tarintino was in 2009

2010
What Should Have Won: (1a) The Social Network (1b) Inception
What Did Win: The King's Speech


There are definitely more films that got screwed (especially movies from 2001-2010) but up above were a few I found the most egregious.

Some other notables that got "screwed'. These are films that got left off of the All-Star team and I wish they made it on but I'm content with them being left off: There Will Be Blood (2007), Mystic River (2003), The Sixth Sense (1999), E.T. (1982), Jaws (1975), Dog Day Afternoon (1975), Chinatown (1974), The Exorcist (1973), The Graduate (1967), To Kill A Mockingbird (1962), 12 Angry Men (1957), Sunset Blvd (1950), and The Maltese Falcon (1941) (has the unfortunate luck (for the sake of this post) to go up against the greatest movie ever made in Citizen Kane. Also goes to show you what a crock it was for How Green Was My Valley to win anything).

BEST DIRECTOR

1941
Who Should Have Won: Orson Wells (Citizen Kane)
Who Did Win: John Ford (How Green Was My Valley)

SIDENOTE: I get upset nowadays with Oscar voters but one thing that's just unacceptable was how screwed Citizen Kane was during the 1941 Oscars. You may not have liked the movie, the movie may not even hold up anymore, but the reason films and movies and directors do what they do today was because of Orson Wells and Citizen Kane. Wells revolutionized film making and I have to imagine people who saw the movie at the time realized the great piece of cinema that is Citizen Kane- and yet snubbed it.

1960
Who Should Have Won: Alfred Hitchcock (Psycho)
Who Did Win: Billy Wilder (The Apartment)

1963
Who Should Have Won: Federico Fellini (8 1/2)
Who Did Win: Tony Richardson (Tom Jones)

1968
Who Should Have Won: Stanley Kubrick (2001: A Space Odyssey)
Who Did Win: Carol Reed (Oliver!)

1971
Who Should Have Won: Stanley Kurbick (A Clockwork Orange)
Who Did Win: William Friedkin (The French Connection)

1972
Who Should Have Won: Francis Ford Coppola (The Godfather)
Who Did Win: Bob Fosse (Cabaret)

1980
Who Should Have Won: Martin Scorsese (Raging Bull)
Who Did Win: Robert Redford (Ordinary People)

1994
Who Should Have Won: Quentin Tarantino (Pulp Fiction)
Who Did Win: Robert Zemeckis (Forrest Gump)

While I absolutely still think Taratino should have won this award no matter what, it's a damn travesty that Frank Darabont didn't even get a directing nod for The Shawshank Redemption.

1996
Who Should Have Won: Joel Coen (Fargo)
Who Did Win: Anthony Minghella (The English Patient)

1997
Who Should Have Won It: Gus Van Sant (Good Will Hunting)
Who Did Win It: James Cameron (Titanic)

2009
Who Should Have Won: Quentin Tarantino (Inglorious Basterds)
Who Did Win: Katheryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker)

2010
Who Should Have Won: David Fincher (The Social Network)
Who Did Win: Tom Hooper (The King's Speech)

There are some other notables that I think deserved to win but them losing the Oscar really wasn't THAT big of a deal. I personally think Jonathan Dayton and Valarie Faris (Little Miss Sunshine) had the best directed movie in 2006 but at that point in time, because the Oscar's were so dumb and Scorsese hadn't yet won an Oscar, it had to go to him. Plus, Dayton and Feris weren't nominated.

Other notables who got "screwed": Ridley Scott (Black Hawk Down, Gladiator), David Lynch (Blue Velvet, Mulholland Drive, The Elephant Man), M. Night Shyamlan (The Sixth Sense), Martin Scorsese (Raging Bull, Casino, Goodfellas, Gangs Of New York), Francis Ford Coppola (Apocalypse Now), Sidney Lument (Dog Day Afternoon, Network, The Verdict), P.T. Anderson (There Will Be Blood, Boogie Nights*), Robert Altman (Short Cuts, Nashville), Darren Aronofsky (Requim For A Dream*, The Wrestler*) and Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight*, Inception*, Memento*, Batman Begins*, The Prestige*) who has never even gotten a best director nomination.

*Not nominated