Box Score Tonight and Corey Patterson go together like LeBron and Rose (too soon?)

• I looked at Corey Patterson's new swing with my eyes and it is now short, choppy, and he uses both hands a la Geovany Soto. 3 more hits today. A home run robbing catch. Corey Patterson for MVP? You can't tell me otherwise
• Grady Sizemore put up another 0-4 day. I will create the "Grady Sizemore All-Stars" team consisting of guys who are automatic 0-4 in the box score. Early candidates are Jose Reyes, Carlos Pena, any of the rotating White Sox DH's
• Cubs surrendered 10 runs to the Pirates, equaling the Buckos past week's total. Jones and McClutchen both had 5 hits and a homer. Zambrano continues to get shelled as a reliever. Can a guy with a 3:1 K:BB and a 1.5 GB:FB ratio possibly get a start?
  
• I will update Aramis Ramirez's batting average in every box score until it reaches .280 - don't believe me? Yesterday .159, today .168
• Max Scherzer does not like the AL. 27 runs in last 18 innings all earned. Good news is that Edwin Jackson is just as horrible. At least they Austin Jackson.
• Arod was 4-6 with 3 homers against Matt Guerrier when he came up against the righty with the bases loaded in the 7th. Granny. Brett Gardner also deserves recognition for hitting .330, 11% walk rate, 16 for 17 in steal, and great defense at multiple positions.
  
• Rich Harden must die! Walk, fly ball, home run machine. Fastball is down to 89mph. Blue Jays knock out 16 runs on 5 homers
• Pujols breaks a 64 at-bat homer less streak and Jaime Garcia continues to prove Dave Duncan sold his soul to the devil
• Breaking news: Oliver Perez is still bad. 4 homers in 3 innings bad. Jose Reyes with another 0-4, and Dan Uggla is magically hitting .288
• Franklin Gutierrez is overrated defensively...at least in relation to last season where he had a 6 WAR season thanks to Andrew Jones like defense. Ben Zobrist has regressed to Darin Erstad power, while BJ Upton still have BJ Upton batting average
• Ian Kennedy was my sleeper pitcher of the year. His only problem this year has been the worst bullpen in the history of bullpens. Last year's Nationals bullpen thinks the D'backs bullpen needs to man up.
• The White Sox have 4 guys in the starting lineup hitting below the Mendoza line. Alexie Ramirez(.214) and Mark Keahen(.216) are a close 5 and 6. Lets keep our fingers crossed they get there. The anti-Aramis Ramirez-o-meter
  
• Omar Vizquel has a .396 OPS. Can you please retire before I forget that you're a HOFer
• As a Cubs fan, it makes me happy to see the BreCrew waste their above average hitting with horrendous pitching every year. Phils smack around 30 million dollar man Randy Wolf
• Dallas Braden goes .2 perfect innings before giving up a hit and eventually the game 4-0 to the Angels. Looks like Billy Beane is going with the all-AAAA roster. Was Ronnie Cedeno and Matt Murton not available?
• Andre Ethier is this years Joe Mauer leading all baseball with a .500 wOBA. Just like Ubaldo Jimenez is this years Zack Greinke. The symmetry of baseball is beautiful
  
• Berkman and Oswalt are willing to waive their no-trade clause if it helps the Astros rebuild. Proving once again Drayton McLane is the dumbest person ever and does not understand that old, white guys only get older and whiter and eventually need to be replaced. I'm shocked Biggio, Bagwell, and Bell were allowed to retire. McLane probably still has them on speed dial in case Geoff Blum goes down