Box Score Weekend: Wild Card Round

(6) CINCINNATI BENGALS vs. (3) HOUSTON TEXANS

- I've been a fan of the Houston Texans for some years now and I was glad to see them finally get a playoff birth and win a playoff game as they defeat Marvin Lewis' Bengals 31-10.
- If you needed any further proof why I ranked Lewis as the worst coach in the playoffs you need to look no further than the fact that he wasted all of his challenges (he didn't win any) before half time started. Plus, you could have looked at his nine year body of work.
- It's a shame Matt Schaub got injured because T.J. Yates absolutely did not pass the eye test. Pros: Yates did not turn the ball over and had a 97.7 passer rating. Cons: He only completed 55% of his passes for only 159 yards. And he made some terible throws and got lucky he was not intercepted a few times.
- To help make up for Yates's problems? The savior known as Arian Foster. There's no doubt in my mind Foster is the best running back in the game right now. He rushed for 153 yards (6.4 YPC) with two amazing touchdown runs. Ben Tate might be a #1 RB on many teams but is relegated to the #2 back (a la Michael Turner in San Diego) in Houston. Although he only got 9 carries he rushed for a damn fine 4.1 YPC.
- Kudos to the Houston defense- the second best defense in the league/the playoffs- to holding the Bengals to only 10 points and intercepting Andy Dalton three times. J.J. Watt's pick six was one of the best interceptions I've ever seen.
- To me, Andy Dalton looked like Peyton Manning before the Watt INT. Along with the three picks he had no touchdowns, completed 64.3% of his passes, and had a 51.4 passer rating.
- A.J. Green looked great in the first half but ended up catching only 5 out of his 12 targets (41.7% catch rate) for only 47 yards. It also looked like Dalton was forcing to Green in the second half which hurt both players' numbers.
- The Bengals only ran the ball 19 times with Cedric Benson leading the way with 7 rushes (2.0 YPC) but did get into the end zone. Cincinnati's leading rusher was Brian Leonard with 34 yards on 3 carries.

(6) DETROIT LIONS vs. (3) NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

- In Detroit's first playoff game in over a decade they lose to the powerhouse that is Drew Brees 45-28.
- Drew Brees was just amazing. He threw for 466 yards, 3 TDs, 0 INT, and completed 76.7% of his passes. While I will be really upset if he gets the MVP this year damn does he make the decision tough.
- My boy from Illinois Pierre Thomas makes me look good. Although he got less carries (8) than Darren Sproles (10) and Chris Ivory (13) he leads the Saints with 66 rushing yards (8.3 YPC) and a rushing TD. Sproles does everything: 51 rushing yards on 10 carries and 2 rushing TDs + 34 receiving yards, 5 targets, 4 receptions.
- I was talking about this with Cubsfan4evr1 today, this is the playoffs and Pierre Thomas is really good. Probably not the best decision to limit his carries. The playoffs is no time to be conservative with your players.
- Robert Meachum, Devery Henderson, and Jimmy Graham all catch a TD. Marques Colston leads all Saints with 120 yards (and caught all 7 of his targets) and he and Meachum get over 100 receiving yards. From what I saw in this game, the Lions secondary was more porous than a sieve. Saints receivers found the holes and were open all day. Meachum was WIDE open on his TD catch.
- If the Lions didn't get bounced from the playoffs Megatron (Calvin Johnson) might have had the post-season like what Arizona's Larry Fitzgerald had in 2009. He caught 12 out of his 15 targets (80% catch rate) for 211 receiving yards and two touchdowns.
- It's shame how one dimensional the Lions are. Yes they can pass it but it's really Calvin Johnson and no one else. They struggled heavily to run the ball. The Lions leading rusher was Kevin Smith: 6 carries, 21 yards, 3.5 YPC, and no touchdowns.
- Matthew Stafford needs to become a tad bit better at not turning the ball over- he had two interceptions in this game. Other than that he had an amazing game: 65.1% completion percentage, 380 passing yards, 2 passing TDs, 1 rushing TD.

(5) ATLANTA FALCONS vs. (4) NEW YORK GIANTS

- I know the Giants were favored in this game but it felt to me that everyone was picking the Falcons to win. Not me. I don't like how the Falcons are built and I'm not the biggest Matt Ryan fan (Although, when I say that, I believe he's the 12th best QB in the game right now. But still, overall I'm not a fan). That defense is piss poor at rushing the passer and the offense is way too conservative. As TBO once texted me this year: "Maybe another receiver wasn't the problem. Probably the QB" (or something along those lines). I firmly believe that to be the case. I also like how the Giants are constructed. They are amazing at rushing the passer (which helps makes up for their awful secondary) and I've completely changed my mind on Eli. He was an elite QB this season with help from Victor Cruz and Hakeem Nicks. It turns out my hatred of the Falcons and my like of the Giants paid off. I predicted the Falcons to lose and they did 24-2.
- Gotta love a game where a team's only points comes from a safety- in this case a mistake made by Manning.
- Matt Ryan only had a 58.5% completion percentage, 199 passing yards, a 71.1 quarterback rating, a 36.9 QBR (out of 100), and an atrocious 4.9 YPA. Hey, at least he didn't turn the ball over.
- In three postseason appearances, Matt Ryan has never won a game. In 2010, the Atlanta Falcons were dominant all season, couldn't lose at home, and rightfully earned the #1 seed. They were bounced in the playoffs by the 6th seed. Granted, that 6th seed was the World Champ Green Bay Packers, but they still lost and did so in an embarrassing fashion (Plus, at the time of the game, the Packers did not even remotely resemble the team you know and see today). This year, they were the 5 seed facing the 4 seed and, like I said earlier, many people predicted this "upset". They again lost in embarrassing fashion.
- I'm not saying the Falcons should draft another QB but Matt Ryan has done nothing to convince me that he's even remotely elite and that he's a franchise quarterback. From an outsiders perspective and one who doesn't watch very many Falcons games (so obviously take this opinion with a grain of salt) I would first overhaul the offensive system. I think if they ran a spread offense like something the Saints or Patriots do and not be so run heavy then Ryan would excel. Maybe. If I were a Falcons fan I think I would like to see that happen and then if that doesn't work either 1) start creating a Superbowl championship team a la the 2000 Ravens or 2) start seriously considering a new QB.
- Have I mentioned that I am not a Matt Ryan fan?
- A lot of the reason I would first consider changing the offensive philosophy is because I predicted every single first down the Falcons were going to do- run it with Michael Turner. I'm a casual fan and even *I* figured that out. It was obvious the Giants figured that out as well. Turner ended the day with only 41 rushing yards on 15 carries (2.7 YPC) and was stopped on every single first down he ran.
- As mentioned earlier, before this season started I was not an Eli Manning fan. He changed my mind this season and he was really damn good in this playoff game: 71.9% completion percentage, 3 TDs, 0 INTs, 277 passing yards, and a 8.7 YPA. Sure, a lot of Eli's stuff came because Hakeem Nicks is a beast (6/9, 115 receiving yards, 19.2 YPR, and 2 TDs) but hey, I like Eli this year and going forward in the playoffs.
- Mario Manningham was the second NYG receiver in this game (4/5, 68 receiving yards, TD) but I still like Victor Cruz (2/5, 28 receiving yards, 0 TD) for the rest of the playoffs and going forward.
- The New York Football Giants finally got their running game going. Brandon Jacobs: 14 carries, 6.6 YPC. Ahmad Bradshaw: 14 carries, 4.5 YPC.

If the Giants play this well next week they have a chance to defeat the Green Bay Packers. I'm not saying they will and I will predict the Packers to win in the GOI Pick 'Em game but this Giants team is built to defeat the Packers as they almost defeated them in the regular season. The Giants can rush the passer effectively with their front four which also allows them to keep seven to defend against the plethora of receivers, and Eli can score and keep pace with Rodgers. If I'm a Packers fan I'm super upset that both the Giants (as well as the New Orleans Saints who can also definitely keep pace with Rodgers) won this weekend.

(5) PITTSBURGH STEELERS vs. (4) DENVER TEBOWS

- The Denver Broncos at home stun the world by defeating the Pittsburgh Steelers 29-23 in OT.
- Big Ben was obviously not healthy for this game. He could not scramble and that clearly affected his entire game. He finished the game with a 55.0% completion percentage, 289 passing yards, 1 TD, 1 INT, and a 75.9 passer rating.
- I knew Isaac Redman would be fine to replace Mendenhall considering what a down year the Illini RB had but I never expected Redman to be this good: 17 carries, 121 rushing yards, and 7.1 YPC. Mike Wallace stole the rushing TD though with an end around.
- My boy Mike Wallace gets ten targets but only catches 3 passes. Emmanuel Sanders: 6 for 8, 81 yards, Antonio Brown: 5 for 7, 70 yards, Heath Miller: 5 for 7, 60 yards, and Jerricho Cotchery: Receiving TD, one target.

AND LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE MAIN ATTRACTION: TIIIIIIIIIIM TEEEEEEEBOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!
- Tebow looked really good in this game and made some great passes. I though the Steelers defense played terribly as well and left some wide open gaps for the Denver's sub par receivers to get through (especially on the one play in OT) but I'll gladly give credit where credit is due. Even though Tebow completed less than 50% of his passes (47.6%), he threw for 316 yards, an amazing 15.0 YPA, 3 touchdowns (1 rushing) and no picks. Plus, he had a 97.3 QBR (best is 100). He had a 125.6 quarterback rating to go along with his 50 rushing yards on 10 "carries". Plus, a win over the vaunted Steel Curtain.
- Surprisingly there are other players on the Denver Broncos than Timothy Dalton Praise-the-Lord Tebow (I know, shocking, right?). One of these players is starting running back Willis McGahee. I don't trust McGahee to hold up throughout these playoffs. He had a measly 3.2 YPC today. Seriously, I want to see more Lance Ball.
- Demaryius Thomas did his best Megatron impression: 4 for 7, 204 receiving yards, and a game wining 80-yard TD in overtime.

- Besides fellow gamblers and everyone in Colorado, no one is a bigger fan of this win than the New England Patriots and their fans.

See y'all next week. And we... are... OUT!

Box Score Tonight- Week One: Early Games Edition (Part I)

Welcome back to BST! We'll begin as soon I begin to realize that my team won't win more than four games now that my MVP, hall of fame quarterback will be out at least ten games.

As always we'll begin with the Chicago Bears
- Fuck of y'all. Bears destroy the Atlanta Falcons 30-12 at Soldier.
- Jay Cutler's passing rating: 107.8. Matt Ryan's: 76.5. Take that QBR ESPN and shove it up your ass!
- Matt Forte did not look to have the greatest day (16 carries for 68 yards) but he had a solid 4.3 YPC. Where he went off receiving (5/6, 90 yards, TD) thanks to a 56 yards TD screen pass
- After Forte the Bears receiving is pretty murky. Johnny Knox and Devin Hester both had 3 catches for 60 yards.
- I said in my Bears Training Camp article that on the goal line the TE are going to get a bulk of the work. Matt Speath got an easy goal line receiving TD and Kellen Davis was targeted for another one.
- The Bears defense was just amazing and this supposed "explosive" Falcons offense looked bland and vanilla and was very run focused.
- Michael Turner can catch passes as he caught three today because that's just what the Bears defense was giving him. He had 100 yards on 10 carries. No TD for him today but expect many more to come.
- Roddy White: 8/13 for 61 yards, Julio Jones: 5/6 for 71 yards, Tony Gonzalez: 5/7 for 72 yards.
- I'm starting the Julius Peppers for Defensive Player Of The Year Campaign right now as he was just a great force and proven too much for Matt Ryan and the Falcons O-line to handle
- I thought Buffalo wasn't going to be able to go into Aarowhead and defeat the Chiefs even though I thought the Bills were the better team. Ryan Fitzpatrick throws four TD passes to help rape the Chiefs 41-7
- Stevie Johnson caught a TD pass but tight end Scott Chandler caught 2 of them along with 63 yards and only 3 less yards and one more catch than Johnson. I would monitor Chandler for fantasy but don't overreact to this one game.
- Fred Jackson was clearly the starter and the full time guy as he got 20 carries for 112 yards but CJ Spiller got the rushing TD (9 yards TD) along with his 5 carries. Fred Jackson was always the guy and this game did nothing to help prove otherwise.
- Matt Cassel was injured and didn't have his safety net TE Tony Moaki in his game. Plus he's not good as shown by his 64.5 passer rating in this game.
- Steve Breaston led all Chiefs wide outs with 26 yards. Hooray!
- Jamaal Charles continues with his awesome YPC with 5.6, but he only gets 10 carries (for those of you at home that's 56 rushing yards). However he saved his fantasy day but receiving Cassel's lone TD pass (and Kansas City's only score of the game)
- In an upset (because Andy Dalton won a game) the Cincinnati Bengals defeat the Cleveland Browns in Cleveland.
- I don't know why but Bruce Gradkowski finished this game. He had 12 passing attempts. Dalton had 15. Dalton's PR: 102.4. Gradkowski's PR: 96.5.
- Cedric Benson had a good game. Whodathunk it. He got 121 rushing yards on 25 carries plus a rushing TD.
- Jermaine Greshman led all Cincy receivers in yards (58). Both him and A.J. Green had a receiving touchdown.
- My boy Colt McCoy only had a 70.1 passer rating because he only completed 19 passes out of his 40 attempts.
- Peyton Hillis succumbs to the Madden Curse! He only has 57 rushing yards on 17 attempts with no rushing TDs. Although he did have 6 catches but only for 30 yards.
- Tight ends Evan Moore and Ben Watson get McCoy's two touchdown passes. Trendy sleeper Greg Little only gets one catch for 17 yards and three targets.
- For some reason I thought the Rams were good enough to defeat the Eagles at home. Boy am I dumb. The Philadelphia Eagles defeat the St. Louis Rams 31-13.
- For fantasy you're always starting all your Eagles. Most notably my boy LeSean McCoy goes off. He had 122 rushing yards on 15 carries and a rushing TD along with 2 catches for 15 yards and a receiving TD.
- Jason Avant (40) had more receiving yards than Jeremy Maclin (20)
- Steven Jackson leaves this game after only two carries. Luckily for fantasy owners he had a 47 yard TD run. Cadallic Williams gets 91 yards off of 19 carries.
- As you'd expect the receiving situation in St. Louis is a clusterfuck. Brandon Gibson (3/5 for 50 yards), Danny Amendola (5/6 for 45 yards), Lance Kendricks (1/5 for 18 yards) and Mike Sims-Walker (1/4 for 5 yards).
- I would just like to note that I was never on the Mike Sims-Walker bandwagon to begin with. He was inconsistent and streaky at best while being the main guy in Jacksonville and now he's in competition with like five other guys.
- My boy Sam Bradford has a stinker: 17/30, 188 passing yards, no TDs, no INTs.
- Baltimore defeats Steelers at home 35-7
- Ray Rice is a beast. He had 107 rushing yards and a TD on 19 carries and had 42 receiving yards and a receiving TD on four catches.
- Anquan Boldin had a receiving TD and 74 receiving yards on 4 catches (7 targets)
- I think Ed Dickson is an under-the-radar TE as he replaces Todd Heap. He caught all of his 5 targets, had 59 receiving yards and a TD.
- Just as a get on the Big Ben bandwagon he has a game like this, 280 passing yards on 41 attempts, 3 INT, 1 TD
- My boy from Illinois (I love these "my boy" rhymes I keep coming up with!) Rashard Mendenhall also has a stinker- 12 carries, 45 yards, 3.8 YPC.
- Fuck all of you who doubted my boy Mike Wallace in a PPR league. He had 107 receiving yards and 8 catches (11 targets). Admittedly he will not have that many catches consistently week to week, but I've been preaching his awesomeness in all formats

OK, because there are no bye weeks I'm getting tired of writing. I'll pick this up when I get more time on my hands and sorry for all the grammatical and spelling errors.

Box Score Tonight: Football's Back Baby!

I remember conversions I had with friends in May that at most the upcoming football season would only be eight games. I am super excited that I was proven wrong. Even though I hate the Packers with a passion that burns inside of me with the intensity of 1000 suns, this football season started off with a great match up between the Green Bay Packers and the New Orleans Saints.

For those of you who don't know and/or forgot, I/we here at GOI (but mainly me) try to go over the Box Scores for every single NFL football game. What ended up happening last year was that the BST's (Box Score Tonight) started to get gradually worse and less helpful as law school started progressing. However, I am semi-buzzed from spending a night of watching football with friends at B-Dubs and I am fully prepared to talk about this first game of the season.

- I don't know if you've heard of these kids named Aaron Rodgers or Drew Brees, but they're really good.
- I really thought Ryan Grant was going to get more carries than James Starks this game. While Grant started on the Packers first two drives and actually ended up with the better YPC, this game was all James Starks. He ended up with more carries (12 to 9), rushing yards (57 to 40) and TDs (1 to 0). I wouldn't put Grant in my starting fantasy line up unless a) He gets traded, b) Starks gets injured, or c) I'm super desperate.
- Even though Pierre Thomas is healthy, rookie RB Mark Ingram got more carries (13 to 5) and rushing yards (40 to 31) even though Thomas had double the YPC as Ingram (6.2 to 3.1). Even on the last play of the game to potentially tie it the Saints used Ingram over Thomas which prompted TBO to text me "Man they really hate pierre thomas". Like Grant, I'm weary to put Thomas in my starting line up, even when healthy.
- Darren Sproles played like I thought he would- as the third down back and catching a shit ton of passes. While he got a TD off of a punt return (chances are those points didn't count for you) I would only play Sproles in super deep leagues.
- Two things popped out to me from the wide out positions: 1) Jordy Nelson is a legit fantasy starter in deeper to semi-deep leagues- over both Donald Driver and James Jones and 2) There's a damn good reason I didn't draft Marques Colston in any leagues.
- Jordy Nelson just looked like he was in way more drives than Driver- who the Packers claim to be the starter. Nelson caught 6 out of his 8 targets for 77 yards and a TD.
- Colston looked terrible in this game. He's always been streaky on a per game basis and he's now coming off of microfracture surgery. I'd be weary to also start him but a) chances you don't have any better options and b) Colston always has the potential to get 100+ yards and a TD every single game. However, he's also prone to stinker games like this one.
- I predicted the Saints to finish 3rd in the NFC South for many reasons: a) I have a man crush on Tampa Bay, b) historically in recent years the NFC South never turns out like what you thought it would and it's always topsy turvy year after year, and c) I think the Saints defense is going to blow. New Orleans' D looked terrible and that's why we saw Drew Brees throw 49 times for 419 yards and 3 TDs. I think the Saints are going to be in a lot of shoot outs which just means a lot of fantasy points for Brees and that offense.
- Devery Henderson led all receivers with 100 yards and had a touchdown. Henderson, Colston, and Sproles all had 9 targets which led the Saints. As good of a fantasy day as Robert Meachum had (5/8, 70 yards, TD) it doesn't surprise me Henderson, the deep threat (16.7 YPR this game), had the better one. Henderson is a real sneaky play but I trust Meachum more week in and week out. Lance Moore didn't get a target (Did he even play? I think he might be injured).
- Two top TE's played in this game: Jimmy Graham and Jermichael Finley. Graham (4/7, 56 yards, TD) had the better fantasy day than Finley (3/4, 53 yards, 0 TDs), mainly because of the TD Jimmy had. There's still no reason to think Finley won't be better than Graham the rest of the year.

Well, I already wrote too much about this game. I hope you enjoy Box Score Tonight for the upcoming season. And we... are... OUT!

Box Score Tonight for May 15

• The Yankees have a disgustingly good team. 100 win season easy. 12-2 home record. Posada refuses to age. Pettitte is 5-0 with a 1.79 era. Arod has yet to explode. Javy Vazquez is their 5th starter. I'd say it's great to be a New Yorker except they dont have LeBron
• Why is Lou Piniella allowed to coach baseball when he is clearly old, senile, and super cranky. Only in baseball is an 80-yr-old man allowed to manage anything. Most 80 year olds can't even manage their own bowel movements. Cubs lose their 7th straight to the Pirates as they find a new, imaginative way to lose. At least Ramirez raised his BA to .170
• It should be noted that Marlon Byrd is the second coming of Mark Derosa for the Cubs. 2 problems though 1) Cubs are losing 2) Starlin Castro(5) has more walks than Byrd(3)
  
• Ricky Romero was drafted ahead of Troy Tulowitzki in of 2005 draft. He's finally living up to the potential with a complete game 12K shutout.
  
• Ubaldo raised his ERA to 1.12 despite 8 dominating innings against the Nats
• Todd Helton is becoming less useful than Jason Giambi as he now has borderline Joey Gathright power. Thank goodness for their young talent: CarGo, Tulo, Ubaldo
• Adam Dunn went deep in both end of the double header. His 16.3%BB(16.8), 30.6%K(32.4), .273iso(.270) .256BA(.249), are all in line with his career numbers. Yeah, he's consistent. I'll just add 40 homers to the back of his baseball card
• Chris Narveson continues the train wreck that is the Brewers rotation. Everyone is hitting for the Phils, except for Ryan Howard who's ISO is below .200
• Tim Lincecum said he was "out of rhythm" and "fighting his mechanics" all day and still pitched 8IP 1ER ball. Inspiration for all hippies around the world. Roy Oswalt now has 5 loses with a 2.62 ERA
• Mike Sweeney will not die as he homers for the 4th straight game while taking the loss on a Willy Aybar walk-off. For those who started following baseball in 2006 (DME and Sexy Rexy) may not be aware of Sweeney's tremendous career. He was considered one of the best right handed hitters in the early 2000's. A poor man's Edgar Martinez and perennial White Sox killer as a member of the Royals. Still kicking at 36.
• Only a matter of time before Alfredo Simon blew up (just look at his horrendous numbers in the minors). Well that day was today as the Orioles entered the 9th leading 2-0 and left with an 8-2 loss to the tribe
  
• Dirty Sherzer was optioned to AAA for Armando Galarraga. Definition of rock bottom for anyone not named Josh Hamilton. Dontrelle Willis has a very Oliver Perez like start(7BB in 3IP) and may not be far behind Sherzer. Brandon Boesch is beginning to look like Matt Joyce. Maybe they can trade him to the Rays for Edwin Jackson again
• White Sox grind out a win over the Royals with 3 stolen bases as Frank Thomas did color commentary with Hawk. Question, has Alexei Ramirez added a single pound of weight since defecting from Cuba and making major league money? Can someone introduce him to Wendy's crispy chicken sandwiches
• D'backs strike out 13 times but hit 3 homers to knock around Tommy Hanson and the Braves.
  
• Mike Leake is still undefeated for the Reds who can take over first place in the Central with a win tomorrow over the Cards
• Jose Reyes was moved back to the lead off spot and responded with a couple hits and runs. Still the Omar Minayas lost to the Jefferey Lorias
• Is it just me or is Clayton Kershaw the next Sandy Koufax aka The Jewish Jesus aka the greatest Jew to ever live? I say yes. I'm starting to think that 30 homer Kyle Blanks prediction by Matthew "TMR" Berry was a tad premature
• Eric Patterson hit his 4th homer and has a cool .290 ISO, but that was outdone by 2 blasts from Kendry Morales
  

Box Score Tonight and Corey Patterson go together like LeBron and Rose (too soon?)

• I looked at Corey Patterson's new swing with my eyes and it is now short, choppy, and he uses both hands a la Geovany Soto. 3 more hits today. A home run robbing catch. Corey Patterson for MVP? You can't tell me otherwise
• Grady Sizemore put up another 0-4 day. I will create the "Grady Sizemore All-Stars" team consisting of guys who are automatic 0-4 in the box score. Early candidates are Jose Reyes, Carlos Pena, any of the rotating White Sox DH's
• Cubs surrendered 10 runs to the Pirates, equaling the Buckos past week's total. Jones and McClutchen both had 5 hits and a homer. Zambrano continues to get shelled as a reliever. Can a guy with a 3:1 K:BB and a 1.5 GB:FB ratio possibly get a start?
  
• I will update Aramis Ramirez's batting average in every box score until it reaches .280 - don't believe me? Yesterday .159, today .168
• Max Scherzer does not like the AL. 27 runs in last 18 innings all earned. Good news is that Edwin Jackson is just as horrible. At least they Austin Jackson.
• Arod was 4-6 with 3 homers against Matt Guerrier when he came up against the righty with the bases loaded in the 7th. Granny. Brett Gardner also deserves recognition for hitting .330, 11% walk rate, 16 for 17 in steal, and great defense at multiple positions.
  
• Rich Harden must die! Walk, fly ball, home run machine. Fastball is down to 89mph. Blue Jays knock out 16 runs on 5 homers
• Pujols breaks a 64 at-bat homer less streak and Jaime Garcia continues to prove Dave Duncan sold his soul to the devil
• Breaking news: Oliver Perez is still bad. 4 homers in 3 innings bad. Jose Reyes with another 0-4, and Dan Uggla is magically hitting .288
• Franklin Gutierrez is overrated defensively...at least in relation to last season where he had a 6 WAR season thanks to Andrew Jones like defense. Ben Zobrist has regressed to Darin Erstad power, while BJ Upton still have BJ Upton batting average
• Ian Kennedy was my sleeper pitcher of the year. His only problem this year has been the worst bullpen in the history of bullpens. Last year's Nationals bullpen thinks the D'backs bullpen needs to man up.
• The White Sox have 4 guys in the starting lineup hitting below the Mendoza line. Alexie Ramirez(.214) and Mark Keahen(.216) are a close 5 and 6. Lets keep our fingers crossed they get there. The anti-Aramis Ramirez-o-meter
  
• Omar Vizquel has a .396 OPS. Can you please retire before I forget that you're a HOFer
• As a Cubs fan, it makes me happy to see the BreCrew waste their above average hitting with horrendous pitching every year. Phils smack around 30 million dollar man Randy Wolf
• Dallas Braden goes .2 perfect innings before giving up a hit and eventually the game 4-0 to the Angels. Looks like Billy Beane is going with the all-AAAA roster. Was Ronnie Cedeno and Matt Murton not available?
• Andre Ethier is this years Joe Mauer leading all baseball with a .500 wOBA. Just like Ubaldo Jimenez is this years Zack Greinke. The symmetry of baseball is beautiful
  
• Berkman and Oswalt are willing to waive their no-trade clause if it helps the Astros rebuild. Proving once again Drayton McLane is the dumbest person ever and does not understand that old, white guys only get older and whiter and eventually need to be replaced. I'm shocked Biggio, Bagwell, and Bell were allowed to retire. McLane probably still has them on speed dial in case Geoff Blum goes down
  

Box Score Tonight is back - and so is Corey Patterson!

• Corey Patterson made his triumphant return to the big leagues with a home run and walk-off outfield assist to throw out the potential tying run at home plate. Alfredo Simon continues to prove closers are a dime a dozen while King Felix gets screwed out of a win
• The Astros have won 4 straight and have been .500 since a 1-9 start. Bud Norris and his career 5.49 era has allowed just 1 runs to the Cardinals in his career
• Miguel Cabrera has to the early season MVP in the AL as he tagged C.C. for a homer and 419 foot 2-run double adding to his 1.120 OPS
• C.J. Wilson is proving bullpen success can translate to the rotation as he is 7 for 7 in quality starts. Vlad is a career .395 hitter at Arlington and is hitting .417 at home this season after getting the game winning single tonight
• Did you know in Greinke's last 50 starts, he has an era in the low 2's and the team record is 23-27? Finally earned his first win of the season, while Grady Sizemore is becoming the next Vernon Wells
• Mat Latos is the latest pitcher to toss a 1 hits shutout, a la Cueto, as the Padres move to 22-12 with a 1-0 win over the Giants.
• Pitching continues to dominate this year as Santana and Josh Johnson both dominate, and both record a throwing error. Someone explain to me why Jose Reyes is hitting 3rd and David Wright 5th? Arod hitting 8th in the playoffs thinks thats messed up
• One word - Zpack. Zimmerman hits 2 homers in the heavy rain and drives in 6 as they blow out the Rockies
  

Box Score Tonight: NBA Edition

Box Score Tonight is back bitches, again! Get ready to learn some shit

• Zack Randolph has a rep for being a black hole. Yet, lefty is very skilled, shoots 46%, gets to the line, and scores 20 and grabs 11 per game. He's overpriced at 16 million, but i'd take him for 10. Dirk Nowitski is single-handedly carrying the Mavs. No chance they compete in West unless they trade for Chris Paul
• Atlanta is the surprise team this year, except they have no depth. Only reliable guy off the bench is Jamal Crawford. Need to make a trade. Luther Head is back in the NBA with a strong 19 points.
  
• Let's call this the Bob Ryan Tyler Hansbrough watch. 7-20 for 19 points. 11 rebounds. I steal. 35% shooting is not good, not good at all.
• Houston Rockets continue to be the moneyball team of the NBA. By far most production from the least talent. Carl Landry is the run away 6th man. Little Rodman. New Jersey is 2-28, but are being sold to the Russian Mark Cuban so future is bright.
  
• The Hornets are in hell. Team sucks, are over the salary cap for next 3 years. Dont be surprised if he is traded within the year. Rose and Paul combine for no free throws. Awesome. Joakim Noah is becoming the only untouchable guy on the Bulls besides Derrick Rose
  
• Agent Zero, Gilbert Arenas, in the first 3 years of a 110 million dollar contract. Injured, injured, wish he was injured. Most untradeable player in NBA. Minnesota drafted 3 point guards in the first round and none were named Evans or Jennings. Oops. Kevin Love is basically Joakim Noah which is a good thing
• Guess who leads the NBA in rebounding? Charlotte's guard Gerald Wallace. OK City is above .500 and Durant is dominating, but Jeff Green is struggling as the Pippen to Jordan.
• Tony Parker needs to stop having sex and play some basketball. He's holding the Spurs back this year while Duncan keeps being Duncan. Brandon Jennings has come back to reality now only shooting 40%. Michael Redd is back strong from knee surgury
• 76ers, see Hornets, except less talent and even more money owed. Elton Brand could not be a bigger bust. I expect Iguodala to be traded more so than Chris Paul. The Jazz are good, but not good enough. Derron Williams is awesome though.
• Ron Artest tripped, fell down stairs, got a concussion. Lamar Odom has Tony Parker syndrome, playing like crap since marrying Khloe Kardashian. Tykere Evans is really good, but not tonight.
• Steve Nash is the best, most underpaid player in the NBA. Only makes 10 million per year and is a 50-40-90 player. Thats FG%-3PT%-FT%. Elite. 90-96 from the line this year. Monta Ellis is a young Iverson. 30 points in 10 of last 18 games. Corey Maggette is like Zack Randolph, no love for putting up great numbers.
  

New Box Score Tonight Format May 22

I found the old Box Score Tonight segments to be too extensive, time consuming, and tedious to the point where the quality is really suffering. I was thinking of only covering things i find interesting/noteworthy instead of covering every freaking game. Let's see how it works.

• I seriously feel i was way ahead of the Clint Hurdle getting fired propoganda. With another loss to the impressive Rick Porcillo, Hurdle may be on his way out, with Dan O'dowd
• 7 more home runs at the new Yankee Stadium. Maybe they could simply start construction over? Arod has 6 homers and i predict will lead the AL despite missing 6 weeks
• Adam Eaton got released the day after I create the "Adam Eaton" line. Just my luck. Look out for Adam Jones. He reminds me of the terminator. That's his new nickname.
• When Sizemore isnt asked to sac bunt twice in one game, he manages to hit a homer and steal a base. Wow! 21st century baseball
• There was no fantasy goat for Tampa. Every starter had a hit, in the first 3 innings. Nolasco got sent down to the minors after back to back 8 ER games. And check this out, Dale Thayer got a save protecting a 14 run lead cause he pitched 3 innings. Fuck you MLB rule book
• Kawakami outduels Halladay only because Halladay cant pitch every inning of every game.
• Michael Cuddyer hits for the cycle, the second for the twins this year(Kubel). Justin Morneau is my early AL MVP candidate.
• Gavin Floyd 2-hits the Pirates. Mazel Tov
• Just as the Cubs have only scored 2 runs in 4 games, the Cardinals have only allowed 2 in 4 games. This time it's Todd Wellemeyer.
• My theory of low scoring games in night games in the weat coarst continues. 3 runs in Oakland, 4 in Wales Vagina, 4 in LA, and 3 in Seattle. How has no one cought up on this trend?

WOW, only took 20 minutes.

Box Score Tonight: May 21

Doesn't the summer just bring a smile to your face =)

• A Blanton/Owings matchup screams offense and thats exactly what we had. J-Rol with a 4 hit game back in the leadoff spot. Utley and Ibanez continue to rake. Victoriano 'the flying hawaiin' has one of the worse UZRs in center field to find a flaw in the phils.
  
• Edwin Jackson is a converted position player, so it took him longer to learn how to pitch, and it appears he's figured it out. 3.24 FIP thanks to a walk rate half his career low. He threw 132 pitches tonight and was throwing 99 in the 8th. Granderson leads the tigers with 11 homers from the leadoff spot.
  
• Maybe the White Sox were just heart broken from being rejected by Jake Peavy, but they suffered the worst loss in franchise history losing by 19 to the Twins. Mauer hit grand slam and is hitting a homer every 9AB. The fantasy goat was Nick Punto despite 2 runs and an RBI.
• Grady Sizemore has gone from an MVP candidate to a number 2 hitter who sac bunts twice in the same game! I know they're facing Greinke, but as the Great Run Expectancy chart to the right states, it's never a good idea to give away outs. The Indians do take down the great Zack Greinke, while Victor Martinez leads all position players in VORP
• The A's took a 2 run lead into the 9th, manager chose to leave Andrew Bailey in the 9th for a second inning instead of the closer, oops! 3 run 9th wins it for the (Devil)Rays.
• Aaron Cook with a 20-4 groundball/flyball ratio in a complete game shutout. Todd Helton's grand slam provided the offense for the Rocks
• Joba can't stay healthy leaving in the 1st with a leg injury. Yanks had the pleasure of facing Adam Eaton who's era is sooo close to 9. I think a 9 era should have a special name like the mendoza line. Lets call it the "Adam Eaton" line.
• National bring up another youngster, Caig Stammen, who wasnt overly impressive in the minors nor was overly impressive in the majors. However, Z-pack and Dunn lead a 2 run comeback in the 8th and the game was closed by Joel Hanrahan. Is he finally the closer?
• The Red Sox keep rolling and are now just .5 games behind the Blue Jays. Jason Bay may end up being the far greater part of the Manny Ramirez deal. His .386 career wOBA is much lower than manny's .421, but Bay is entering the prime of his career. His defense is almost as horrible as Manny's with UZRs of -11, -18, -21 the past 3 years. Here is a really strange stat. Manny Ramirez has played 905 games in RF and 917 in LF. In right he has a UZR of 17.1, in left he has a UZR of -12. Explain that DME!
• Andrew Miller and Max Scherzer went back and forth with 9/10 K's respectively. Mark Reynolds hits the game winning 2 run homer and now has double digit homers and steals.
• Trevor Hoffman is off the charts. 11 for 11 in save opportunities and has yet to allow a run
• Cubs manage just 2 runs in a 3 game sweep to the Cardinals. Lou needs to take his old people medication and go off on this team. Baseball is not that hard. Wait until you get a pitch over the plate and put the barrel of the bat on the ball. The Cubs have been doing neither of those 2 things. God I wish I was the manager.
  
• More low scoring games on the west coast tonight. I really need to see stats that prove my theory that night games on the west coast are abnormally low scoring. Maybe it's the thick air off the pacific. Brian Wilson blows the win in the 9th and the Padres have won 6 staight. Break them up!!!
• Eric Bedard gives up 2 hits, both homers and takes the loss 3-0. Gary Matthews Jr. hits his first homer of the season. Well worth the 55 million for shizzle

Better have my donuts!

Box Score Tonight: May 20

I feel motivated today. Let's knock out the box scores from tonight!

• Javier Vasquez stuck out 5 of the first 6 batters. DME made a stupid bet that he would get 13K in the game. He finished with only 6 and I get a free subway sandwich =) Braves get 9 runs in the 4th in a blowout of the Rockies.
  
• Verlander continues to dazzle with 8K in 6IP hitting 99 on the gun. Nelson Cruz only hit his 2nd homer in 26 games.
  
• The Yankees went back to back to back. Surprisingly all 3 homers went to right field. Nice job yankee stadium. Obstructed view seating and a little league fence in right. Well worth the 1.5 billion. Phil Hughes with his best start fanning 9 in 5IP.
• Joel Hanrahan strikes again! Gives up 3 hits and a walk off wild pitch to lose the game. Maybe we should just admit that this guy sucks at baseball.
• Scott Kazmir is completely broken! He cant even have a decent start against the no offense A's. I would rather have D-Train at this point. On the bright side, the Rays are 71 for 79 in stolen bases. That's a 90% success rate, Bill James would approve.
• Order is restored to the universe with big papi hitting his first home run. Another bet that DME lost. Jason Bay hit a sedan across the street from the green monster, and Jason Varitek hit 2 home runs. MLB is obviously fixing games in favor of the Sox, that is the only explination to their dominance. That or a smart front office. Here is the secret, get jewish people to run your team. Andrew Friedman is to thank for the Rays success, not Longoria.
• I dont know how Aaron Harang is making 14 million this year, but he's kinda earning it by shuting down the powerful phillies roster. He's also a monumentally horrible hitter with a career average of .081. If Raul Ibanez is so inspired to leave Seattle that he has 14 homers this year, imagine what Ichiro and King Felix would do if they ever left the M's
• Way-Rod outduels Gallardo thanks to a 2.33FIB. How is it so low, well he gave up his first home run in the last 90IP. Also Michael Bourn got a hit and Kaz Matsui got called out for batting out of order, so Bourn got to hit again and walked. How hard is it to write out a lineup card people!?
• Kerry Wood tried to blow another save by walking 3 in the 9th, but managed to protect a one run lead. Sidney Ponson is now 1-5. How does he have a job, but Jim Edmonds does not.
• White Sox show off their one good quality by hitting 2 home runs including Jermaine Dye's grand slam. Maybe his clutch factor can move from 2nd worst to 4th worst! On the bright side, it's may 20th and Konerko is hitting above the mendoza line. Liriano's 4.8 FIP should be worrisome to his fantasy owners.
• Chris Carpenter returned to the Cardinals after his 1oth DL stint. When healthy the guy is a beast posting FIPs of 3.85, 2.9, 3.44, 3.24 his 4 full years in St. Louis. Cubs are dreadful offensively, seems like Lou needs to blow a cylinder soon. Marmol has walked 17 in 19IP
  
• Petco park should be considered a national park given it's size. People can go hiking and biking there for days it's so freaking big. Just another 2-1 padres win. The real Eckstein is featuring a negative VORP. In facts, 14 out of 24 eligable position players on the Padres have negative VORPs lead by Brian Giles -11.8
• Mariners win a 1-0 game over the Angels thanks to that Jakubauskas guy. It appears that David Aardsma is the official closer for the M's. Aardsma actually comes first in the baseball dictionary just ahead of Henry Aaron.
• For some reason all the west coast games tonight had 3 runs or less. This is no coincidence I am sure. Anyone have a clue why that may be the case? Maybe they know no one is watching hence they can just slack off? Anyway, Dodgers outlast the Mets 2-1
• Dbacks and Marlins played in double header. First game went to the Fish behind a Dan Uggla 3 run homer. Mark Reynolds somehow managed 4 stolen bases and stole another base in game 2. He also hit 2 homers in game 2. The story was Justin Upton hitting 2 3-run homers in game 2, both to the upper deck measured at 420 and 458 feet. He seriously has 60 homer power and he's only 21!!!

Man that's exhausting

Box Score Tonight: May 4

Could someone answer this question for me once and for all. Why is a sac fly not an official at-bat, but an RBI groundout is? Maybe it's one of Bud Selig's rules, fucker

• Ohhh Javy Vasquez. Nice job cluttching up. After 5 scoreless innings, he man's up and gives up 6 over the next 2 with 3 homers. At least he struck out 8! Beltran is quietly the best player in the NL.
• Jon Lester has 43K in 37IP but a disturbing 7 homers against. Oh, he also overcame cancer.
  
• Ryan Zimmerman appears back to his 2007 form as seen through his wOBA.
• Liriano finally gets his first win of the season and Denard Span is proving he's no 4th outfielder hitting .323 with 8 steals.
• Matt Capps blows his first save, despite a 7.56 era. He may be the next closer casualty. Ricky Weeks with a game winning 3 run bomb.
• Kerry Wood blew a save and has a 7.2 era. Thats why you dont pay a closer 10 mil. I dont care who it is. Matt Laporta begins to fill CC's shoes, all 22 inches and 500 pound, with his first homer.
• It's a shame the Orioles pitching is so bad giving up a .301 BA against, 12 points higher than any other team. Still the offense came through today between Roberts and Markakis
• Here's how dumb dusty baker is. He put a pitcher in his bullpen, Daniel Herrera, who's average fastball is 83mph. He took the loss today in 14 innings to the Marlins. Apparently Baker missed the Shingo Takatsu experiment the white sox tried several year ago. At least he threw 86.
• Ryan Theriot has gone deep 3 out of the last 4 games. I believe the record for consecutive games with a homer is Griffey and Thome at 8 games. The-Riot can do it! He did OPS .934 in 134 at-bats in 2006.
  
• Zack Greinke came in with a 0.50 ERA, it went down after a complete game shutout. Whatever medication he's taking, I want it!! He currently has a 1.47 FIP, which is still higher than Pedro had in 1999 of 1.39 - best pitcher ever.
  
• Ryan Howard hits another grand slam. I believe DME isnt the biggest howard fan, despite his career .395 wOBA.
  
• Joe Saunders managed 7K in 6.2IP thanks to Jack Cust golden Sombrero 4K. Beane claims to have the bet young pitching in baseball. I will admit they are young
• Chris Iannetta hits a grand slam and Sexyrexy still refuses to start him in fantasy. Please play Kurt Suzuki all year long. Please
• It's May, which means King Felix is in operation shut down. I will admit he is the best one April pitcher ever
• I'm ready to crown the Dodgers, cause they are who we thought they were, and we let em off the hook!

• 
  

Box Score Tonight is Back Bitches

I finally finished my senior thesis. I still had reservations about bringing back BST as it was cutting into my sleeping time, and i need my beauty sleep. But I feel like it's a big part of the blog, so the show will go on. And lets face it, 'mvp' Eckstein had like a -21 VORP.

• The Indians have played .500 baseball since i last posted, which means they are still 7 games under heading into May. A friend of mine was recently at an Indians game with 12K in attendance, where they were begging people to buy tickets behind home plate for $25, or they would have to sell them to Red Sox fans. This was written on the jumbo-tron! I recall when Jacobs Field once had a 500 game sell-out streak back in the Lofton, Thome, Manram years. Boy have things changed
• Justin Verlander helps confirm Ecksteins claims that he's back with a dominant 11K in 7IP.
• Blue Jays have the best record in the AL by 2 games! Are Scutaro/Hill this years Kinsler/Young? I think not. Not Jewish enough fo shizzle. Travis Snyder is down to .229 so no 50 homers for him *cough eckstein cough*
• I never bought into the Braves '09 champaign. Was Javier Vasquez cluttchiness suppose to take them over the top? Especially with Jeff Francoeur(i call him frenchy) hitting clean-up. Side note, Michael Bourn is OPSing .822 which i think he keeps up, kinda maybe
  
• Most the games on the East coast got rained out, which shouldnt be confused with the pirates who simply didnt show up to play as Cueto goes 8 shutout with 9K.
• Carl Crawford ties a major league record with 6 steals in a game, which i'm surprised someone like Ty Cobb never stole more. This coming after Dexter Fowler stole 5 bases in the first 4 innings of a game last week.
  
• Brad Penny is still throwing 93mph on the fastball like always, but his era is still in the sevens. David Ortiz still looking for his first homer in almost 100AB.
• Dave Bush was throwing a 2 hitter through 5IP until he went Dave Bush and gave up 3 homers in the 7th. Thats gonna hurt the FIP. Brew-crew scratch out a one run win.
• Scott Baker was perfect through 6IP until he went Dave Bush and didnt retire any of the next 6 batters giving up 5 runs and the win to the Royals. Oh, Joe Mauer is hitting .700
  
• Carlos Zambrano pinch hit 3 straight game, what would you rather have aaron miles? Today he strains a hammy beating out a bunt single that let to a Derrek Lee grand slam. He has definitely changed his stance as he is more open and puts all his weight on the back knee. How do i know this? He has 0 double plays in 91 at-bats. Slightly less than the 27 he had last year. GB/FB is down to .74 this year form 1.33 last year. Fuck Yeah!
• Barry Zito has only allowed 3 runs over his last 20IP. Giants win a slug fest 1-0 in 10 innings, in fact they are last in team runs with just 81. Somehow Pablo Sandoval's fat ass stole a base...his second
  
• Mariners use 8 pitchers to win a 15 inning game. If Bobby Crosby wants to get traded, he should probably hit above the Mendoza line, which he isnt
• The Dodgers are 10-0 at home as Chad Billingsly matches Zack Greinke with his 5th win
• Scotty Pods is back! 2005 all over again! Where's Cliff Polite, Timo Perez, Pablo Ozuma?
  
• Ian Kinsler hits his 3rd lead-off homer this year. Jew-power activate! Seriously, get rid of the Jew-Fro. You're gonna start a streotype or something

Like Jim Rome, I'm Out!

Box Score Tonight: April 22

Baseball was played tonight.

Box Score Tonight: April 21

Filling in for The Bright One again. I feel like Rick Sutcliffe on Sunday Night Baseball!

• Rain continues to plague America. The Red Sox-Twins game gets postponed until tomorrow, when a double header will be played.
  
• After blowing back-to-back-to-back blown saves, Hanrahan gets back-to-back handshakes as the ice cold Washington Natinals (no, that's not a typo) beat the Braves by a score of 4-3.
  
• Joe Beimel, the reigning king of not giving up home runs, goes on the DL with a left hip flexor strain. I'm no doctor, but hip injuries are never good.
  
• I still say Hanrahan loses his job before June, but with Beimel out, it's going to be Garrett Mock's job to fuck up in the future. Yahoo! called Mock the Hanrahancuffs. I laughed.
• Elijah Dukes continues to be a rule breaker and baseball badass. He was fined $500 because he arrived to practice five minutes late. How dare he attend little league charity functions! It's cool though, because the kids are going to pay the fine for him.
• This is the funniest headline ever. Too bad it's a year old.
  
• Chipper Jones, who flirted with a .400 BA through the first half of last season, is batting .353. Adam Dunn hit his 4th dinger of the season, seems determined to hit 40 again.
  
• On the heels of 5 straight losses, the Orioles shut down the poppin' White Sox 10-3. Markakis went 4-for-4 (2B), while Huff went yard twice. Felix Pie continues to struggle, going 0-3 this game. Like I said yesterday, no trade backs.
  
• After a failed bid at a struggling Sizemore in my fantasy league, he's gone yard three times in the past five games. Indians beat the Royals 8-7, as Laffey tosses seven quality innings (7 H, 3 BB, 3K, 1 ER) and Sidney Ponson does his best impression of Chien-Ming Wang (3.1 IP, 8 H, 4 B, 2 K, 6 ER).
• How about V-Mart? After a disappointing and injured 2008 campaign, he's hitting .397 with 5 home runs on the season.
  
• Only one home run (Johnny Damon) in tonight's game in the Bronx. Yankees win 5-3.
  
• Matt Holliday is without a homer and Xavier Nady doesn't need season-ending surgery.
• Dana Eveland has the best HR/9 rate in the league, dating back to last season (10 HR over 182.2 IP) . That doesn't prevent him from giving up his share of runs, however (4 IP, 9 H, 4 BB, 3 K, 4 ER).
• Against all odds, the Pirates continue to pitch well. Jeff Karstens (6 IP, 3 H, 2 BB, 3 K, 1 ER) outdueled Anibal Sanchez (7 IP, 7 H, 2 BB, 6 K, 3 ER) for the win. Final score 4-3 Buccos.
  
• Uggla continue to piss me off, going 0 for his last 20, with 6 Ks. His OPS has halved over that period of time. Hope you didn't buy high (or at all) on Bonafacio because he was not for real.
• Gotta love those Phillies. Not because they are pitching or hitting particularly well, but because they are helping crush the Brewers' self-esteem. Manny Parra, who I finally dropped (and started for some unknown reason), continues to be ineffectively wild (4 IP, 7 H, 3 BB, 4 K, 5 ER) and the Phillies made him pay. Ryan Braun went yard twice in his 5-for-5 hitting binge, but the Phillies win 11-4.
• Roy Halladay, who has been wheelin' and dealin' in his last three starts, got lit up by the Rangers. Ian Kinsler (who refuses to cool off) and Nelson Cruz (who I of course benched) went yard in the Rangers' 5-4 victory. Aaron Hill, who was on pace for 25 dingers before his concussion in 2007, now has 5 HR on the season. Is he for real? Probably not, as his career ISO is 1/2 of what it current stands at. His .388 BABIP (.365 BA) scream "sell!"
• Jose Valverde picks up his first save of the season in Houston's 8-5 win over the Dodgers, but it was not without its drama. Manny, who went 2-4 with a HR on the night, almost knocked one out of the park with two men on. Instead, he flied out about 7 feet short of the right field wall.
• Clayton Kershaw, who has been dominant in his last two starts, only lasted 4.1 innings (6 ER). He struck out 3, but also walked two and gave up a two-run shot to Carlos Lee.
  
• Mets lose to the Cardinals 6-4, courtesy of Daniel Murphy's poor defense in left. Why pay Fernado Tatis $1.7 million if you aren't going to use him?
• Oliver Perez (4.2 IP, 6 H, 5BB, 4 K, 4 ER) channels his inner wild thing. For an offseason that was peppered with value offerings, you gotta feel bad for the Mets, who were left out of the bargain hunting thanks some Scott Boras magic. How Boras convinced the Mets to pay Perez $36 million over 3 years is beyond my comprehension.
  
• The once feared J.J. Putz has a meager 3 Ks through 8 IP. Sample size or age (31)?
• Rockies beat the Diamondbacks 9-6. Mark Reynolds hit his 4th homer of the season (second in as many games), but has 16 Ks through 45 ABs. Reynold's is striking out 5% less than he did last season, but still whiffing in 1/3 of his ABs.
• Manny Corpas has replaced Huston Street as the team's closer for now. Neither of them is pitching particularly well at the moment, so the name of the game is "who sucks less?" When Taylor Buchholz comes off the DL, he will eventually steal the job from whichever of them is closing.
  
• Curtis Granderson left the yard in back-to-back at bats, but the Tigers still lose to the Angels 4-3. Manager Mike Scioscia was tossed from the game for arguing balls and strikes.
• 2009 Armando Galarraga pitched like 2008 Armando Galarraga, minus the luck. Do you expect him to outperform his FIP by over a full run again this season? Sell high and sell fast.
• Tiger's GM Dave Dombrowski says they have "no interest in trading Miguel Cabrera". He goes on to say "Not only is it one of the last things we would ever consider, we have an owner [Mike Ilitch] who would never let that happen." Sorry, Boston.
• The Tampa Bay Rays continue to struggle. The Mariners beat them 4-2.
  
• Jarrod Washburn is having his best season in over a decade. The flyball pitcher tossed 7 innings of 5 hit, 3 BB, 9 K, 2 ER baseball. Some combination of Seattle's ballpark, which tends to deflate home runs, and a much improved (league-leading) defensive outfield are keeping the flyball-oriented Washburn dominant. He's worth a spot on your bench, but remember that he has a 5.35 career K/9.
  
• Brandon Morrow's average fastball speed sits around 97 MPH and periodically touches 100. True story.
  
• Matt Cain (6 IP, 9 H, 0 BB, 5 K, 2 ER) outdueled Jake Peavy (7 IP, 3 BB, 3 K, 6 ER) in San Fran last night. Padres lose 3-8 as Peavy, who been uncharacteristically wild over his past two games (7 BB, 11 IP), struggles in his second consecutive outing. His second start aside, Peavy hasn't looked very dominant this season. Is this a case of sample size or a repeat of 2006? The World Baseball Classic has not been kind to Jake Peavy.
• Brian Giles has an ISO of .038 this season. Even Willy Bloomquist has a .053 ISO. Ouch.
  
• Last, but not least, The Cubs beat the Reds 7-2 last night. Rich Harden, who finally gets a win, continues to dominate batters (6 IP, 3 H, 2 BB, 8 K) in the NL. At this pace, if Harden stays healthy, he will have a 312 K season (180 IP of 15.6 K/9 baseball). I think I'm in love.
• The Cubs need to find a place in the line up for Micah Hoffpauir. He hit his first home run of the season last night.

Box Score Tonight: April 20

I'm filling in for The Bright One tonight.

• Rain is again the theme of the day, as Yankees/A's and Phillies/Padres games are both postponed til July.
• The Red Sox took their turn at raping the Orioles pitching staff with a 12-1 win. Big Papi goes 2/4 (2B, 3B) with a pair of RBIs and a run scored. Is this a sign of post-Manny separation anxiety? Ortiz did blast 6 bombs with a .900+ OPS clip last September. On a disturbing note, Jason Varitek now has 3 more home runs than Ortiz.
  
• Felix Pie continues to struggle. He's now hitting .147 (5-for-34) on the season. Mother fucker is out of options and the Cubs called no trade backs. Still, he's better than Aaron Miles :(
• Lance Berkman and Carloss Lee hit useless back-to-back solo shots, as the Astros drop yet another game. Interestingly enough, Astros starters combined for 22.1 scoreless innings since mid-game Thursday and have gone 2-3 over that period of time. God their bullpen sucks.
  
• Still blotto for Votto. 2-for-5 (2B), 1 R, 2 RBI.
• Jason Marquis finally pitched like Jason Marquis, giving up 2 HR and 6 ER in 5 IP. Just wait till he's pitching at Coors in July!
• Both Upton and Iannetta manage to go one game without at least one strike out. Baby steps.
  
• Conor Jackson has not hit a home run in over 200 ABs dating back to last season. John Kruk still has faith in his 150 RBI upside, however, so no need to panic.
  
• Over/under on Todd Helton: 250 AB, 10 HR?
• Florida finally loses their second game of the season, shutout by the Buccos of all people.
  
• Andrew Miller was placed on the DL immediately after the game with a strained oblique. His fastball topped out at 87 MPH (91.5 MPH last year)
  
• Nate McLouth now has 4 HR on the season. Perhaps I was wrong about his "impending regression." Then again, his home run rate did fall by 50% post ASB. Still, a 25 or 30 home run, 20 SB season seems more plausible these days.
  
• My sick Hanley/Uggla combo continue to stuggle. Uggla is 1 for his last 14 and Hanley isn't stealing bases efficiently (33% success rate). I expect the .240 average from Uggla, but Hanley? :(
• Hanrahan finally converted a save, after blowing three consecutive opportunities. Manny Acta's basically fired the rest of the bullpen before today's game and Hanrahan's leash is ridiculously short at this point. $50 says Beimel is closing before June.
• Ryan Zimmerman signed a 5 year, $45 million contract, while Jordan Zimmerman made his MLB debut (W, 6 IP, 6 H, 2 ER, 1 BB, 3 K). In other news, the Nationals still suck.
  
• Nick Johnson (.381 AVG, .458 OBP) continues to rake in the number two hole. And yet, he only has 8 runs on the season. God damnit, the Nationals suck.
  

Box Score Tonight: April 19

I'm sad, the Cubs game got postponed :(

• Posada hit an apparent game winning home run for the Yanks that was clearly interfered with by a fan. The umps reviewed it and still got the call wrong. See no machine can stand in the way of human idiocy.
• Ricky Romero beats out Dallas Braden 1-0. He's the next Gustavo Chacin. I find it strange that the Jays closer and setup man are both lefties: Ryan and Down. Oh, Scott Downs once admitted to crying after being traded from the Cubs to the Expos.
  
• The Brew Crew has officially the most pedestrian bullpen beating out the yankees. Who the frick are DiFelice, Stretter, and Coffey?
• One person in the Red Sox lineup is hitting above .290 and that's youkilis at .468. Also, what happened to Papelbon that Saito got the save tonight.
• The Nationals have blows three saves in a row. Thats why you have 1 win all year fuckers. Marlins only have one loss on the other hand
• Raul Ibanez is turning out to be much better than Milton Bradley as he hits a walkoff bomb.
• Javy Vasquez cluttches up and gets a much needed win. HOF!
• If the White Sox hit 3 homers a game, they will have an awesome season, unfortunately no team have ever hit 500 home runs, or even 250 for that matter.
• Micah Owings hits a pinch hit 2 run double. I think he should replace Willy Taveras
• Another reason the Johan Santana trade sucked, Carlos Gomez isnt even fast anymore. Just 2-4 in steals
• Kyle Fansworth has 3 loses already as a reliever. Career 1.4 HR/9
• 2 Days after winning 2-0 and 1 day since losing 2-0 the Giants win 2-0 as The Big Unit took a no-no into the 7th. Giants and Dbacks both suck at 4-8
• Rick Porcello with a nice outing, outside a home run to Ronny Cedeno of all people. Miggy increases his average to .489
• Why to i keep starting Ubaldo Jimenez in fantasy? Dude has no control, none! I dont care how fast his fastball is when it's in the dirt or in the bleachers. Dodgers are a scary scary team. The Corpas/Street competition for least suckiness continues
  

Box Score Tonight: April 18

The theme tonight is the shutout as there were 6 of them

• Trevor Cahill has 13 walks, 5 K's in 17.1IP. He's the reverse Cory Patterson, despite having the highest VORP on the A's. Lyle Overbay hits his first walkoff home run, or homerun in general as far as i'm concerned.
  
• Ian Snell should star in the new movie "2007 again" as he throws 7 shutout innings. Quitely Chipper Jones hasnt played in the last 4 games due to a finger injury. That didnt take long
• Joel Hanrahan has had 2 save opportunities all year. They both came in the past two days. He has blown both. Thanks a lot. Bonifacio is 1 for his last 16. Who called it. Ups to me. Elijah Dukes cant buy a break as some guy named Bernadina started ahead of him. Kearns hits a grand slam
  
• I dont care about Santana's 83% stranded rate last season, the guy is unstoppable and will continue his greatness this year. 0.46 ERA in 3 starts
• Chieng-Mang Wang has allowed 23 runs, 23 hits in 6IP. That is how you accumulate a -11 VORP and 10 FIP in just 3 games. 14 run 2nd for the Indians as every player got a hit, scored a run, and deflowered a virgin. If Dirty 30 pitches when the Yanks are down 10, who pitches when they are down 18? Don Zimmer
• Cubs/Cards just can't play a normal game. This one ends with an Aramis Ramirez walkoff 2 run bomb in the 11th. According to fangraphs, he has outperformed his contracts by 45 million dollars. Think the Pirates want to redo the Aram, Kenny Lofton, Randall Simon for Bobby Hill trade? Just use the Easy Button
• Anyone who didn't know, Micah Hoffpauir hit 4 homers in a single game in AAA last year and had 100RBI's in 71 games. Maybe find him some at-bats. Just saying.
  
• Manram and Either go deep twice, TWICE!
• Zona shuts out San Fran 2-0 the day after being shutout 0-2. Lincecum K's 13 in 7IP. 6th time this year a pitcher gets 13 K's, all of which came in loses. Secret to baseball, be Livan Hernandez
• The Dusty Baker's get shutout by Wandy Rodriguez. Arang Harang is not a machine
• Last year Brad Lidge gave up 15 runs, he's already allowed 7 this year. Also blows his first save since about the time Albert Pujols chastised him
• Carlos Quintin hits 6th home run. Does not break wrist punching bat
• Dustin Pedroia does not like his home town, mainly cause they wont let his child molesting brother, molest children. Bill James predicts Adam Eaton will have a sub 5 FIP. Why is he so freakin generous. Not as generous as Marcel giving Cory Lidle 4 wins this year despite being dead.
• Twins score 9 runs with just 2 XBHs. Yesterday, the Yanks scrored 6 runs while hitting 5 home runs. Huh?
• When Zack Greinke isnt suicidal, he's a hell of a pitcher. Complete game shutout biatch, over the powerful Rangers
• So far, the Tigers have gotten the better end of the Edwin Jackson/Matt Joyce trade. Still doesnt make up for getting Willis, then signing him to an extension. Someone put him on the subway diet.

Apparently the Phils and Orioles have both set records for allowing the most home runs the first 2 weeks of the baseball season. The pirates have the lowest team ERA, and guess which team leads the league in pitching strikeouts? The Cubs for the 136th straight year

Box Score Tonight: April 17

The theme today will be home runs. Why you may ask? According to fangraphs, runs are up .3 per game, AB/HR is down by 4 and the average home run has traveled 9 feet further than last year. I an here Eckstein yelling sample size, but April is usually the hardest month to hit due to the weather, so one can only expect the run production to increase as the players are adjusting to playing without steroids.

• The Yankees hit 5 solo home runs, with the cluttchiest being Jeter's 8th inning go ahead homer. As noted by ESPN, Joba's swing and miss percentage has fallen from 35% in 2007 down to the mid 20's in 2008 and is so far at a dismal 16% this season. Maybe it's time for him to go back to the bullpen?
• Wild game at Wrigley. Zambrano gives up 7 in 7, along with 3 home runs. Didnt he used to be a sinker ball pitcher? Ludwick hit 2 homers, while soriano hit's the game winner in the 8th.
• Cody Ross ties the game with a 9th inning bomb and the fish win in extras. There is rumor Zimmerman is about to sign an extension worth close to Markakis' 6yr 66million contract. Only difference is that Zim isnt close to the player Markaksi is.
• Phils blow a 7-1 lead to the Padres as WS MVP Cole Hamels continues to struggle
• Pitching duel goes to Paul Maholm and the Pirates over the Braves.
• Somehow Aaron Hill and Marco Scutaro have 4 homers each while alexis rios and matt holliday have none.
  
• O's blow a 7 run lead despite Markakis grand slam
• Ryan Braun hit his first dinger, while Sheffield hit his 500th career blast. If not for the steroids, he would be a HOFer
• Bartolo Colon was pitching a gem, until Ben Zobrist hits a pinch hit grand slam. Surprisingly, Troy Percival is throwing gas, so i dont expect him to lose the closer job anytime soon.
• Meche shuts out the Rangers offense over 6IP. Royals explode for 19 hits led by 5 from Teahen with a homer.
  
• Valverde blows a 1-0 lead in the 9th on a Ramon Hernendez 2 run homer in the 9th. Why wasn't he bunting? Cause i'm sure the bunt is the appropriate move there.
• Angles surrender 7 run in the 8th to the Twins leading to a 11-9 win. Jason Kubel hits for the cycle. What up with all the cycles? Hudson -> Kinsler -> Kubel -> ?
• Verlander had 7K through 4IP and then exploded for 5 runs in the 5th. I've given up on him.
• Manram still no homers. Also hats off to Glenson Rusch for making it back to the bigs after a life threatening blood clot in his lungs.
  
• 1-0 pitching duel as Johnathan Sanchez is outlasting Dan Haren. Both of whom are on Ecksteins fantasy team

Box Score Tonight: April 16

Today's theme will be 'holds'. I have started to notice the hold category for relief pitchers. I have no clue what one must do to not earn a hold. I'm sure whatever it is, Neal Cotts has zero of them. I'm afraid holds will become the new saves, and now we'll start paying guys 10 million a year for 40 'holds' like we do for closers with 40 'saves'. Useless, moronic stats. Wow you pitched a whole inning without losing the game. You deserve a cookie

• Emilion Bonifacio has 6 strikeouts the past two games, but the Marlins pitching keeps rolling with Anibel Sanchez
• Russ Ortis doesnt have an ERA below 5.5 since 2004, but somehow he is back in the Majors. It makes sense cause it's the Astros. Tejada, Blum, Pudge...They'll sign Edmunds and Lofton once they realize the Michael Bourne experiment failed hard.
• I've never even heard of half the Yankee's bullpen, explains the 9 run 7th the indians put up behind Sizemore's grand slam. He's dreamy
• Bradley get's ejected in his first at-bat as a Cub. Injured(check) Ejected(check) Suspended(check minus)
• The Cardinals always have a high OBP despite having pretty bad players outside the human cyborg Albert Pujols. I'd praise Tony LaRusa, but he's spent his career coaching roided freaks like Canseco and McGuire, batting the pitcher eighth, and being drunk
• Adam Dunn has an isolated discipline of .200 and an isolated power of .423. Mercy! Washington is 1-7. Break em up
• How is that Danks for McCarthy trade looking now? Danks is a stud lefty, damn you Kenny Williams. Jenks almost blows the save and is clearly not the pitcher he once was.
• Carlos Delgado hits a 3 run homer. He is one of the most overlooked superstars in the game. 162 game average of 38 homers, 38 doubles, 100 runs, 120 RBI, 88 walks and a 138 OPS+. Assuming he hasnt been roiding up the last 10 years, he a definite hall of famer for me.
• Roy Halladay is a pitching machine. Considering he has spent his entire career in the AL central, his greatness is all the more impressive
• Explain this to me, a reliever can get a blown save in any inning, but a save in only the 9th or later? Well that's what happened to Corcoran of the Mariners in the 7th inning. Maybe we should get rid of these retarded pitching stats
• Barry Zito does two things really well. Modeling jeans and losing baseball games.

Some funny pics i came across while googling barry zito

Box Score Tonight: April 15

The San Diego Super Padres run has officially come to and end. Just in time to dedicated today's Box Score Tonight section to the greatest jew to ever live. Ian Kinsler

• Despite his high WHIP and work load in the WBC, it's time we accept the fact the Armando Galarraga is an awesome pitcher. Shuts out the White Sox offense while Cabrera continues to mash the ball over the fence. How long until Cabrera mashes the dinner table and eats himself out of the league? Seriously, he starting to remind me of an oopma loompa.
• Kerry Wood got a save for Indians. NOOOOOOOOOO
• Rich Harden strikes out 8 in 3IP. Still gets rocketed by the Rocks. Derek Lee actually has home run power. Who knew?
• Time Wakefield took a no-hitter into the 8th against the A's. So much for their new and improved offense.
  
• If not for a weak bullpen, the Cards would be undefeated.
  
• John Garland allows 12 base runners in 3.2IP while Joel Piniero allows 12 base runners in 5 IP. Hence the Cardinals wins.
  
• Grant Balfour mysteriously has a 21 ERA after being Marmol like unhittable last season. Yanks pull out a late inning win due to Jeter's cluttchiness
• The Marlins are 7-1. The offense will actually be worse this year than last, but the starting pitching is finally healthy(outside sergio mitre, yeah no one cares) and are dominating the national league
• Mike Hampton decided to finally start earning the 126 mil he stole from Colorado/Atlanta for the Astros. He was a 20 game winner for the Astros back in the day.
  
• Met's get first win at CitiField behind the arm of Oliver Perez. Don't expect it to continue though.
• The Reds managed one walk today. Yup, sounds like a Dusty Baker team. Mike Cameron goes yard twice.
• Scott Baker and Kevin Slowey are struggling big time this year without Mauer behind the plate. And we have a Michael Barrett sighting as he homers for the Jays.
  
• Ichiro returns with a grand slam as Jared Washburn is officially resurrected
  
• Clayton Kershaw with 13K in 7IP and Dodgers win on the walk-off walk.
  
• It's Ian Kinsler's world and we're just living in it. He hits for the cycle and a half as he adds on an extra single and double for a 6-6 day. He also added 5 runs score, 4 RBI, a stolen base. Move over Sandy Koufax, we have a new Jew in town. He's the Captain Planet of major league baseball.