This has been a question passed on through the ages. I was listening to the Carmen, Yurko, and Harry discuss this today because 59 year old Tom Watson almost won the British Open, so if a guy that old almost won a major golf event, is gol really a sport? Well, I am here to help answer that question. If something is to be considered a sport, it must fulfill all three of these qualifications:
1) It must be a skilled activity
This is of course very broad. A lot of things are skilled activity like poker, chess, and lumberjack rolling. However, this is the simplest base to set up the other two qualifications. This is also the qualification ESPN uses to show ANYTHING at 2 am
"Sports" Now Excluded
None
2) The activity must require athletic ability that limits regular people from doing it
Now what specifically constitutes "athletic ability" is purposefully vague. I do this on purpose because there are certain activities like baseball and golf that many people may not require the physical effort like soccer or basketball, but certainly requires a great deal of physical strength. Even big fat Bartolo Colon and Sidney Ponson have to have a certain degree (albeit very small) of athletic ability to be able to throw a baseball as hard as they do. It also takes a lot of strength to hit a golf ball as hard as people like Tiger Woods hit it. There's a reason the vast majority of people on the PGA tour are in very good shape.
The "limits regular people from doing it" can also be translated very loosely but I will explain what I mean. First, I mean from doing it professionally. I could probably spend a little bit of time if I wanted to learning how to play Texas Hold 'Em or chess. But I can't really teach myself how to throw an 80+ mph fastball and locate it. I also can't go out and teach myself how to jump a ramp on my bike or hit a golf ball 250 yards. These are athletic abilities that requires years of training just to become average.
This line is also meant to include age as an factor. As you grow older, obviously your body starts deteriorating. This means that you should lose your athleticism as you grow older. Even 40+ year old pitcher aren't the same as they were when they were 20. So when a 59 year old man goes out and almost wins a "sport" and remains competitive, that means that the activity is not excluding "regular people from doing it"
"Sports" Now Excluded:
-Golf
-Chess
-Poker (of any sort)
-Polo
-Hunting
-Billiards
-Bowling
-Boating
-Trampolining
-Archery
-Table Tennis
-Curling
-Car Racing
-Fishing
-Frolf
-Jew Frolf
Now for the final and most important point
3) You must be able to affect your opponents play during the activity
This means every single sport that is judged, is out. This also excludes a lot of Olympic games and a lot of physical activities that many people thought were sports. If you disagreed with my point of contention about golf in the last point, there's no disagreeing with this point. If you can not affect how your opponent plays their activity and your opponent is allowed to do their activity whatever it is they'd like to, then this activity absolutely, positively, is not a sport.
"Sports" Now Excluded
-Synchronized Swimming
-Any swimming
-Diving
-Track and Field
-Weightlifting
-Irish Dancing (sorry Colleen)
-Any dancing
-Mountaineering
-Surfing
-Anything in the X-Games
-Bobsledding
So now you may ask, "since you've essentially excluded everything in the Olympics, what is a sport?" Well here's the official list of everything that is a sport:
-Baseball
-Basketball
-Football
-Hockey
-Cricket
-Field Hockey
-Boxing
-Soccer
-Fencing
-Lacrosse
-Rugby
-Softball (barely)
-Jai Alai
-MMA or any other combat
-Volleyball
-Tennis
-Squash
Now don't get me wrong, just because something isn't technically a sport does not mean it's not hard and just because someone does something isn't a sport doesn't mean it's players aren't athletes. It just means it's not "technically" a sport. We may colloquially say those activities are sports, but they are really not.
So I don't care if you disagree with me on this, you're wrong.
Showing posts with label A Sport No One Cares About. Show all posts
Showing posts with label A Sport No One Cares About. Show all posts
The Frozen Four- An Outsourced Post
When originally creating this site, I asked my brother if he would like to be a commentator. But he wanted to write about dumb sports like Rugby and Cricket so I told him 'no'. But recently the college that he attends, Boston University, won the Frozen Four (obviously the hockey equivalent of March Madness) and since he's just as smart as the four contributors, if not smarter (and obviously much much smarter than Cubsfan4evr1. haha j/k), I of course let him write about his alma mater's great win. And hell, it's not like U of I or DePaul is winning anytime soon anyway. So without further ado, my brother's commentary (with a few of my obnoxious comments mixed within) about BU winning the hockey championship:
Congratulations Boston University: 2009 NCAA Division I Men’s Hockey National Champions
Over this past Saturday night, while the jokers who write for this blog were probably drinking their livers away (HEY!, I did some homework too. Maybe.), Boston University played Miami University for the college hockey championship. BU had been one of top teams in the nation throughout the hockey season, including winning another Beanpot, the Hockey East regular season title and the Hockey East playoffs. Coming into the tournament, BU was ranked number one overall. BU hada narrow victory in the last minutes against the University of New Hampshire in the second round and two squandered leads in the first Frozen Four game against the University of Vermont. Despite this, BU was the clear favorite to win its fifth national hockey title against Miami of Ohio, a school that has never won a national title in any sport. BU senior defenseman Matt Gilroy winning the Hobey Baker Award for top college hockey player the day before only added to the pressure. With a minute remaining in the third period, Miami was beating BU 3 – 1. Having already pulled their goalie, BU went on to score two goals in the last minute of the third period to tie the game. Eventually, BU won it all in overtime. Miami of Ohio was winning 3 to 1 with a minute left and they end up losing. I do not keep track of hockey statistics, but that has to be one of the most improbable comebacks ever. Frankly, the way the RedHawk’s neutral zone defense had been stifling the speed-based offense of BU all night makes the comeback all the more improbable. Anyways, for those who actually watched the game, it was a high quality hockey game with the best sports endings a fan could hope to witness.
Now, I know what you’re thinking right now: “I don’t like professional hockey during the best of times, so why the hell should I care about two random teams and college hockey.” Frankly, you shouldn’t (Nice Audience Adaptation here buddy...). But hear me out as to why I care. I go to BU. We don’t have a football team. Our basketball team has talent, but it’s in the America East conference. This year, Binghamton won the America East men’s basketball tournament and promptly lost to Duke as a 15 seed. You see, my school doesn’t have a big time Big Ten football program. Our basketball program doesn’t make the tournament every year. The one sport BU is good at is hockey. And when that one team wins a national championship in anything, that’s a big moment. I haven’t followed hockey at any level since I was 10, but even I plan on indulging in this moment. And frankly, that’s what I think sports should be all about anyways. It’s escapism, pure and simple, and nothing creates pure joy like seeing your favorite team win a championship. I’m not much of a fan of BU hockey, but this is one of the few moments during my time here at BU where I actually want to be associated with Terriers athletics. And when was the last time the University of Illinois won a sports championship (Hey asshole, at least our team made a real sport tourney and played in a sport that people cared about! haha).
If you would like to read more about the game that of course ESPN neglected to report on besides a few scrolls on the bottom of a screen, you can read about the article here and see video highlights here
Miami of Ohio's top sports alum: Ben Roethlisberger
BU's top sports alum: Mike Eruzione
Sidenotes: This is a tangent. Feel free to not read this. One, I never realized how annoying the announcing style in hockey really is. Next time you watch you watch a hockey game, look out for this. The announcer talks in a normal voice for most of game, then switches to a high shrill anytime the puck ends up remotely close to the net. Announcers in other sports get excited anytime a big play happens, but they’re not as shrill about it as hockey announcers. I don’t get it. Also, throughout ESPN’s coverage of the Frozen Four, ESPN kept referring to BU’s coach as Jackie Parker. His name is Jack, not Jackie. He’s not a boyhood pal. He’s not a mobster. I found it really annoying and disrespectful. He goes by Jack, not Jackie. ESPN and BU hockey are not the close friends that ESPN and the New York Yankees are. Get it right.
Congratulations Boston University: 2009 NCAA Division I Men’s Hockey National Champions
Over this past Saturday night, while the jokers who write for this blog were probably drinking their livers away (HEY!, I did some homework too. Maybe.), Boston University played Miami University for the college hockey championship. BU had been one of top teams in the nation throughout the hockey season, including winning another Beanpot, the Hockey East regular season title and the Hockey East playoffs. Coming into the tournament, BU was ranked number one overall. BU hada narrow victory in the last minutes against the University of New Hampshire in the second round and two squandered leads in the first Frozen Four game against the University of Vermont. Despite this, BU was the clear favorite to win its fifth national hockey title against Miami of Ohio, a school that has never won a national title in any sport. BU senior defenseman Matt Gilroy winning the Hobey Baker Award for top college hockey player the day before only added to the pressure. With a minute remaining in the third period, Miami was beating BU 3 – 1. Having already pulled their goalie, BU went on to score two goals in the last minute of the third period to tie the game. Eventually, BU won it all in overtime. Miami of Ohio was winning 3 to 1 with a minute left and they end up losing. I do not keep track of hockey statistics, but that has to be one of the most improbable comebacks ever. Frankly, the way the RedHawk’s neutral zone defense had been stifling the speed-based offense of BU all night makes the comeback all the more improbable. Anyways, for those who actually watched the game, it was a high quality hockey game with the best sports endings a fan could hope to witness.
Now, I know what you’re thinking right now: “I don’t like professional hockey during the best of times, so why the hell should I care about two random teams and college hockey.” Frankly, you shouldn’t (Nice Audience Adaptation here buddy...). But hear me out as to why I care. I go to BU. We don’t have a football team. Our basketball team has talent, but it’s in the America East conference. This year, Binghamton won the America East men’s basketball tournament and promptly lost to Duke as a 15 seed. You see, my school doesn’t have a big time Big Ten football program. Our basketball program doesn’t make the tournament every year. The one sport BU is good at is hockey. And when that one team wins a national championship in anything, that’s a big moment. I haven’t followed hockey at any level since I was 10, but even I plan on indulging in this moment. And frankly, that’s what I think sports should be all about anyways. It’s escapism, pure and simple, and nothing creates pure joy like seeing your favorite team win a championship. I’m not much of a fan of BU hockey, but this is one of the few moments during my time here at BU where I actually want to be associated with Terriers athletics. And when was the last time the University of Illinois won a sports championship (Hey asshole, at least our team made a real sport tourney and played in a sport that people cared about! haha).
If you would like to read more about the game that of course ESPN neglected to report on besides a few scrolls on the bottom of a screen, you can read about the article here and see video highlights here
Miami of Ohio's top sports alum: Ben Roethlisberger
BU's top sports alum: Mike Eruzione
Sidenotes: This is a tangent. Feel free to not read this. One, I never realized how annoying the announcing style in hockey really is. Next time you watch you watch a hockey game, look out for this. The announcer talks in a normal voice for most of game, then switches to a high shrill anytime the puck ends up remotely close to the net. Announcers in other sports get excited anytime a big play happens, but they’re not as shrill about it as hockey announcers. I don’t get it. Also, throughout ESPN’s coverage of the Frozen Four, ESPN kept referring to BU’s coach as Jackie Parker. His name is Jack, not Jackie. He’s not a boyhood pal. He’s not a mobster. I found it really annoying and disrespectful. He goes by Jack, not Jackie. ESPN and BU hockey are not the close friends that ESPN and the New York Yankees are. Get it right.
