The Decision: Cause I Love Myself That Freaking Much

Rumors have been rampant throughout the entire summer as to the future of Game of Inches superstar and blog-o-sphere 2 time MVP "The 'Bright' One". Speculation from sources close to the situation have leaked rumors trying to predict where TBO will take his talents and girts at the end of the summer. You have been stressing and analyzing all the details and possible scenarios, but the time has come to make a final decision, straight from the horses mouth TBO himself.

The latest buzz has confirmed that the decision has come down to 3, count that 1-2-3, destinations that will be lucky, fortunate, grateful enough to welcome TBO and hand him the key to their city. TMZ has provided footage showing picture evidence proving that TBO had spent the last week in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico negotiating a 5 year lease in the Presidential Suite with the Riu Palace to live out his prime career years on the sandy beaches of Mexico. Either that, or he spent the week laying poolside, sipping on Dos Equis XX, whooing the European hotties.

However, the trip was cut short from his usual 2-3 week holiday stay, and TBO has returned to his home town of Chicago, Illinois. May this be an indication that talks fell through, or is this the final O.J. Simpson knife in the back of his loyal Chicago readers. It is well known that TBO is the predominant voice of the Chicago sports scene. His family and life long friends reside in the city that has raised him, educated him, and made him into The 'Bright' One. Here he has loved and lost, does he dare ripe the heart out of The 'Windy' City.

A dark horse candidate has arisen from the endless list of suitors, Miami School of Medicine has reached out to TBO and offered him a luxurious package he may not be able to refuse. If you recall, TBO flirted with UMiami in the summer of 2008, when he visited and was accepted to the the medical school. Of course, loyalty took over before he settled on UIC for the next 4 years of his life. Or at least that's what we thought. After a very successful first year of medical school, except for anatomy, F%*# You anatomy, TBO can exercise an opt out clause and take his talents back to South Beach where TBO has spent every summer of the last 10 years. Although it seems too good to be true, it has the city of Chicago reaching for their brown paper bags before hyperventilating to death.

To get the final answer, TBO has selected his special guest Bill Simmons to live chat with him on the Game of Inches blog.

BS: Ohhhhhhhhhh Johnnnnnyyy, oops wait, ohhhhhh TBO!
TBO: Big day, big decision, big nerves, big excitement. Did I mention I'm a big deal?

BS: What was the ultimate deciding factor in your final decision?
TBO: To me it came down to 2 things. Winning at life and being happy doing it. I just gotta think about me and that's what I did. You know what that's all about Bill

BS: Can you describe your interactions and what you learned from all of your meetings?
TBO: What can i say? I just feel so blessed and humbled for being made so great, everyone telling me i'm great, and getting compensated for being great. I had many sleepless nights debating where I should go. Each city has so much to offer. Chicago is where i was bread into my greatness. I have a place in the city for school. I have my parents basement where my grandma cooks and cleans for me. It may not be glamorous, but it's home. And there's no place like home.

On the other hand, Mexico offers the lavish lifestyle of relaxing on the beach, with topless babes a plenty. The schools may not be up to American standards, but you will see all sorts of tropical infections and diseases that you may not find in the states.

Miami has always been near and dear to my heart, such that I strongly considered moving to South Beach in 2008. I was willing to pay the higher out of state tuition for the glamor of Miami school of medicine. I would get to work with some of the finest physicians in the country, who have already won awards individually, and train to become the greatest Cardiologist the world has ever seen. For me, I've already proven myself individually, now it's time to work as a team and bring home the ultimate prize. Being in Miami, The 'Bright' One can share the city with The 'Chosen' One. Has a nice ring to it...huh

BS: The time has come. Will you reveal where you will be taking your talents?
TBO: Man this is tough, but this fall I will be taking my talents back home to Sweat Home Chicago (applause ahhh ahhh wooh wooh). See unlike one Lebron James, I'm not a traitor to my home town. I feel Chicago is part of who I am, and who I want to be in the future. I have made my mistakes, let down people in the past, but want to grow and get better for the future. I want to use my medical skills and knowledge to help my fellow people in need. I have my family, my friends, my sports, and my school. Everything else is gravy

Like Jim Rome, I am OUT!


David "MVP" Eckstein said...

Bahahahah. I should have done this with my Law School transfer.

David "MVP" Eckstein said...

this was absolutely hilarious

Cubsfan4evr said...

This was great. We missed this humor while you were gone.