On The Derby: DME's ESPN Radio Appearance

In case you missed it, earlier today I was on ESPN Radio discussing the Home Run Derby. You can listen to the audio by clicking here (you can hear a better audio quality here, albeit only the first 8 minutes). The audio is a bit soft, so you will likely to need headphones, but there is a lot of good chatter, so it is totally worth it. Thank you Paul Singman for recording this for me.

Hope you enjoy my ramblings. Below are a few of my specific liner notes of interest.

Open or closed roof?

• A 10-degree change in temperature tends to have a 1% or so effect on flyball distance, and every 10 degrees over 70 tends to bolster park factors by 2.6 points.
• The average MLB home run is about 395 feet, so each ten-degree change likely has a 4-5 foot effect on home run distance.
• The projected temperature at Chase Field tonight is 95, versus somewhere in the mid-70s or so if they close the roof and air-condition the park. The forecast for tonight in Arizona is thunderstorms, so the roof will probably be closed. Given the heat/humidity, odds are the roof would have been closed even if the forecast was sans storms.
• A closed roof could chop off up to 10 feet from tonights’ flyball distances compared to an open roof, making those “just enough” homers harder to attain, and those Slammin' Sammy/Josh Hamilton bombs unlikely.
• Wind can also affect flyball distance, so a closed roof might also further affect flyball distance beyond just temperature.

Derby Players' Vegas Odds [per BoDog]

• Jose Bautista: 3/1
• Prince Fielder: 15/4
• David Ortiz: 9/2
• Matt Holliday: 9/2
• Adrian Gonzalez: 11/2
• Matt Kemp: 15/2
• Robinson Cano: 15/2
• Rickie Weeks: 12/1

Matt Kemp, as mentioned in the comments to my original article, would be my best "gambling pick" (looking at not just likelihood of winning, but also payout potential) for the derby, though I would call any attempt to gamble on as random an event as the Derby ill advised (hitting slow meatballs is hardly the same as hitting a fastball, let alone guessing what pitch at what speed is incoming). With three, Kemp has the most home runs over 440 feet of any derby contestant this year. Kemp's three are second in the majors only to Justin Upton, an Arizona Diamondback, who has four (each of which are over 450 feet)

Final note: Jonny Venters is the NL’s secret weapon this year. A lefty who gets strikeouts and tons of grounders (over 75 percent groundball rate this year) is going to be the key to getting out of a high-leverage jam. Craig Kimbrell is equally as filthy a pitcher from the right side, a testament to just how disgusting the Braves bullpen is. Imagine if Billy Wagner didn’t retire.

Joe Morgan DFAed, What Now FJM?

Now that ESPN has designated Joe Morgan for assignment (well, they really just outright released him), do you think Kenny Williams or Bruce Bochy will sign him? They love their crafty veterans and that "veteran presence," right?

But on a serious note, does anyone remember that ingenuous blog (whose untimely demise sparked the birth of this blog), Fire Joe Morgan? Just a few days over two years ago, Ken Tremendous and crew said their final goodbyes, but left us FJM enthusiasts with a glimmer of hope in the comments to that final post:

Many of you guys have written in to ask us to reconsider -- even if we just post something once in a long while. You guys are nice and awesome.

And, well, we might. We might come back here once in a while and post something particularly infuriating or noteworthy. We like this place too.

I realize that FJM has reunited for one day of glory over on Deadspin.com for two-years running now, but FireJoeMorgan.com is yearning for new material. If this news is not something particularly noteworthy (though it is worth noting that the guys at FJM did not actual proclaim a desire for Joe Morgan to get fired, only that people disregard that "old baseball" knowledge that science and math has disproved), then what in the world is?

Please Ken, we miss you!

ESPN Has Officially Run Out of Ideas

Hottest Rap of 2010

Michelle Beadle Lebron Parody

America You're Fucking Out, Chicago's Fucking In

Another Glitch on ESPN's Box Scores

Hilarious ESPN Sunday Night Baseball Commercial

Stop Ruining Baseball With Your Machines

Shin-Soo Choo walks on 5 strikes

ESPN Has Scheyer On Front Page And Highly Overrated

It only occurred to me today to actually check Jon Scheyer's basketball statistics. You know, the quantifiable, measurable, numerical evidence that allows us to draw conclusions on athletes without biased, subjective opinions. With Duke in the final four for the first time since 2004, every media outlet is hyping up Jon Scheyer. Some have even claimed him as a legitimate national player of the year candidate. His reputation is even more pristine if you happen to reside in Chicago, his home town, because every conversation ends with us berating Bruce Weber for not keeping Scheyer in the state.

What if I told you that Scheyer is shooting 39% from the field this year? That's pretty low, especially for college basketball. And it is not an aberration. Scheyer has been a remarkably consistent 39% shooter for 3 out of his 4 years of eligibility. I think the only worse professional shooters are Jannero Pargo and Baron Davis. Yes, he is a great 3-point shooter at 38%, with more than half his shots coming from beyond the arc. Yes, he is a great free throw shooter(88%) and a decent distributor(4.8 assists). Since nearly all of his points come from outside the paint, with very limited ability to create his own shot, his shooting percentages are down. I'm pretty sure most NBA teams are not looking for anorexic white guys who can barely out-shoot Jannero Pargo in a game.

You may be screaming at the computer screen, "what about Stephen Curry? He's an anorexic white-ish guy who shoots 3's and made it in the NBA". Let's look at the numbers, shall we. In Curry's 3 years in college, he shot over 40% from 3 point land twice. Topping out at 44% his sophomore year. In addition, he shot between 45-48% from the field as a whole, much more impressive than Scheyer's 39%. This was mainly a result of Curry's ball handling skills and ability to create open shot and drive to the basket. Scheyer is white and has no such skills. Curry also outrebounded, assisted, and stole Scheyer while being the only player on his team that people worried about.

Jon Scheyer has had a very productive college career and god damn Bruce Weber for letting a jewish, chicago boy who played HS ball under Weber's brother go to Duke. But to inflate his game to legendary status the way ESPN and Coach K himself have done is misleading to say the least

More People Are Looking Forward To The NFL Draft Than Opening Day Of Freakin Baseball? You've Got To Be Kidding Me America!

John Berry: "I Can't Breath Right Now"

Will ESPN Ever Get Their Box Scores Right?

Somehow Chauncey Billups and Trevor Ariza have managed to play 50 minutes in a 48 minute game. If that doesnt constitute grindiness, I don't know what does

Shawn Springs thinks Hurricane Katrina is hilarious *UPDATE*

Shawn Springs, the veteran cornerback for the New England Patriots, was a guest on First Take today on ESPN2. He was given some softball questions about the Super Bowl and was expected to give some softball answers. I mean it's not like they know how to do anything else on ESPN. Well Shawn obviously had other things in mind. When asked which team he would rather not face in the Super Bowl, he responded "Well if it was me, I would hope a hurricane comes through". Nice choice of natural disasters Shawn Springs. I think you are looking for the word tornado. Tornado. It would have been more politically correct if you wanted Manning and Brees to simply get struck by lightning or get foot poisoning. Do you also wish there would be more unemployment in Detroit and a larger financial crisis on wall street?

I may have video evidence for you loyal readers later tonight, but no promises

*UPDATE* As promised I got you the video. I never disappoint, unless you're of the female gender, in which case it's 50-50

JP Riccardi Is On Baseball Tonight Right Now

Whoda thunk ESPN could replace Steve Phillips with an equally terrible, if not worse, former GM. We all know he's just keeping the seat warm for Omar Minaya.

ESPN has a "who gives a F%*@ department"

I just learned, from the bottom line on ESPN, that Ben Gordon scored the 10 millionth point in NBA history.

1) What are the odds that is actually accurate? None
2) How is this number relevant to anything? It's not
3) Will this information ever be to useful to anyone under any circumstance? Nope
4) Who at ESPN thought this was something that needed to be reported? Tim Kurkjian maybe
5) 10 million? Thats still 48 million less than Ben Gordon is making on his contract. Report that shit

Bill Simmons book signing at ESPNzone Chicago

Note to world: Lebron is better than Kobe

Lebron leads Kobe career wise in points, rebounds, assists, field goal percentage, free throw attempts, steals, blocks, and PER efficiency.

Kobe leads Lebron in free throw percentage, championships, rape allegations

Give Lebron 20 years in the NBA and he will have every record that ever existed

"The Dark [Ugly] Knight"

Listening to The Scott Van Pelt show with Ryen Russillo, they were doing the same old run down "greatest (insert anything) of the decade" routine. Something so lame that GOI would never consider doing, ever. Stop laughing, i'm being serious. The ESPN radio gang were discussing the greatest movie of the decade. I will still go with "Good Will Hunting", regardless what decade it was made. I first saw it this decade so it's new to me. The guys would not accept "The Dark Knight" as the best movie for 2 reasons. First, why did Batman have to use the Batman voice the entire movie? I understand using the Batman voice when you're fighting bad guys and all dressed up in your bat suite, but going with the deep, scratchy voice when you're enjoying hot coco in front of the fireplace is what we call over-acting. Second, how realistic is it for a superhero to be fighting over a 4. And yes, we are objectifying women with numbers. The 4 referring to Maggie Gyllenhaal playing the love interest in "The Dark Knight".

I had the absolute same reaction when we were leaving the movie theater. By no means am I a movie buff like DME and Sexy Rexy, but it just didnt make sense to me why the greatest, richest movie in history couldn't find a pretty face to put on screen. Not surprisingly, the only girl at the movie with us said she thought Maggie was pretty...which in girl speak means I'm glad they put some ugly bitch on screen making me look better. Hence, I decided to give Maggie a slight makeover that would have put "The Dark Knight" head over feet above every other movie this decade, except "Good Will Hunting". Actually, I may need to give Mini Driver a new look too, except for the sexy accent. The accent can stay.