Funny Fantasy Baseball Team Names

NOTE: Last UPDATED on 4/15/11

Latos Intolerant
Dude Looks Like An 80
No One Man Should Have All That Mauer
Derek Holland’s OPS
The Scioscial Network
Morneau After Pill
Explosive Renteria
LaPorta Pottie
Votto-erotic Asphyxiation
Sweet 'n Mauer Sauce
Choo Girls, One cup
2 Burrells, 1 Cup
I Don’t Practice Renteria
Domi Arigato Mr. Delgado
The Randy Winners
WHIPlashed
The Good The Vlad and The Uggla
The Price Is Wright
Lugo My Eggos
Cust in the wind
I am the great Cornholio! I need TP for my Pujols (Beavis and Butthead reference)
Third Degree Byrnes
The Chan Ho Trailer Park
Joaquim Benoit Balls
Jay Bruce Almighty
We Kill You Before Youkilis
Good Morneau America
You Say Tomato, I Say Tabata
Take Maholm Tonight
Tejada They Come, Tejada They Fall
Gagne Withaspoons
Lawn Mauers
Victorino is Mine
Insane Clown Posey
Cano U Didn’t
Next of Kinsler
Hasidic RBIs
Cuddyer Straits
I Feel Randy after I Winn
Kinsler's List
Ianetta U A Sweater
Huston we have a problem
Vernon Down the House
Just Doumit
Duchscherer Bags
Joba Doba Dooooo
Grace's Slump Busters
Ned Yost Infections
Sexual A-Saltalamaccia
Grant Ball Four
Bartolo Colonoscopy
Aaron Harangitang
Bartolo Cologne
Paul Molitor Lizard
Fukudome? Fukudoyou!
Personal DeJesus
The Stench Of Bartolo's Colon
Sperm Dempster
Soria Bout The Herpes
Take It In The Pujols
I'm Chuck James, Bitch!
Brains Before Braun
Porn Maggs
Jeter Jeter, Pumpkin Eater
Delusions of Granderson
Honey Nut Ichiros
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince Fielder
Swish or Swallow?
Happy Halladays
Ellsbury Doughboys
The Braun Supremacy
Green Eggs and Hamilton
Millar Time
You Don’t Mess with the Johan
It Byrnes When I Peavy
Pedroiaphile
RBI'd 4 Her Pleasure
McGlovin
WHIPs & Chains
For What It's Werth
Black Sabathia
While My Guitar Gently Weeks
Magic Carpenter Ride
Don't Bring Me Downs
You Shook Me All Night Longoria
Johan Santana featuring Rob Thomas
Zack and Miri Make a Morneau
Jeters never prosper
Nomar Mr. Nice Guy
You Down with OBP?
Mahatma Gagne
Doumit and Doumiter
Well Dunn
Jizz In My Pence
Gagne West
Infante's Infants
FIP'ed In My Pants
Safe or Out. Make Your Joyce.
Votto You Doing?
Pedroia's Destroyas
Over the (Aaron) Hill
Do or Dye
Milton Bradley. Ages 8 and Under.
I Left My Heart In Ben Francisco
Garret Jones' Diary
FELIZ Navidad
C.Hamels Toe
A Priest, A Rabbi and A Minister Walk into Aybar
Hakuna Tejada
Napoli Dynamite
Miguel Should Have Called a Cab(rera)
Make Love, Not WAR
The Haren the Tortoise
Ellsbury My Heart At Wounded Knee
Thelma and Ruiz
Nightmare On Huston Street
Arod In Her Mclouth
Too Much Borbon, I'll Call A Cabrera
Stubbs Hub
O's Before Hoes
My Wieters Longoria Than Yours
The Devil Wears Prado
Inglourious Bedards
Inglorious Bastarados
Highway to Hellickson
Jews For DeJesus
Kershawcalypse
60 Feet 6 Inges
In Case Of Emergency, Use (Matt) Stairs
Hi Ho Silva
Kevin Cash Considerations
Angels Acquire Vernon Wells
Chone of the Dead
Heyward Jablowme
The Howie Kendrick Experience
Always Wear Clean Hunter Pence
Billy Beane is not My Lover
Farnsw0rthl3ss
Prom Night Dempster Babies
Tulowit 2 Quit
Huff the Magic Dragon
Bust A Capps in Yo Ass
From Dusk Till Braun
The Cahills Have Eyes

Which are your favorites?

38 comments:

The 'Bright' One said...

battle of verDunn

play on the "battle of verdun" for those historically challenged

David "MVP" Eckstein said...

I added about 20 more

David "MVP" Eckstein said...

also, boo TBO. boo.

Anonymous said...

Fielder Dreams
Lincecum to Papi

The 'Bright' One said...

DME has never seen field of dreams so he doesnt get the reference.

I miss mark derosa :(

David "MVP" Eckstein said...

I of course forgot the best one: Jizz In My Pence

bumbaclots said...

Inglorious Bastardos

lincolndude said...

I'd go with "Let's Get Bedard-ed"

Jeffrey said...

I did not whiff Phil Coke, but I did smoke Jaramillo

Garison said...

I came up with all of these myself, but others have probably beat me to the punch on a few of them.

Gagne West (he pitched in the NL West for a while)
Infante's Infants
FIP'ed In My Pants
Safe or Out. Make Your Joyce.
Votto You Doing?
Pedroia's Destroyas
Over the (Aaron) Hill
Lance in My Pants
Do or Dye
Milton Bradley. Ages 8 and Under.
The Butler with the Woodpipe in the Ballpark
I Left My Heart In Ben Francisco

Garison said...

I came up with all of these myself, but others have probably beat me to the punch on a few of them.

Gagne West (he pitched in the NL West for a while)
Infante's Infants
FIP'ed In My Pants
Safe or Out. Make Your Joyce.
Votto You Doing?
Pedroia's Destroyas
Over the (Aaron) Hill
Lance in My Pants
Do or Dye
Milton Bradley. Ages 8 and Under.
The Butler with the Woodpipe in the Ballpark
I Left My Heart In Ben Francisco

David "MVP" Eckstein said...

hahaha. i added my favorites. thanks for the laughs!

Anonymous said...

bowl of more oreos, ship cargo bugs, Tax axe Ranglers, Minny show da grins, Floor in da Marklins, Boss tan dreadlocks, Fidel via Sillys,.......

chambo said...

chone jean

chambo said...

* chone john

Anonymous said...

ORDALE VOTTO

Anonymous said...

Here's my favourite in our keeper league; "F@#K you, Jobu"

Team obviously has a lot of pull hitters that can't hit a curve!

LargeBill said...

My brother's team is called "Harder Fellers Score" paying homage to the Tribes past. Mel Harder, Bob Feller & Herb Score were all still around when Tom started using that name. Sadly, all are gone now.

Zachary said...

These are great, here are a sampling of the team names I had last year alone (I change team names a lot):

Pedroiaphile
RBI'd 4 Her Pleasure
McGlovin
WHIPs & Chains
Splitfingered (accompanied by the following team picture)

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_gl6Q505aO9I/S9omuVoLKdI/AAAAAAAAAXo/M5-E-oNMhhU/s1600/shocker-2-760961.jpg

I had at least a dozen others, I just can't seem to remember them.

Robert said...

My team name is EACH HIT!!!

Dmitry said...

over the cahill

Brett Greenfield said...

Bros Before Hosmer

Anonymous said...

One Nut Kruk and The Moody Jews

Anonymous said...

Backdoor Sliders

Anonymous said...

princes itchy pujols

Anonymous said...

Manny Ichiro Wieters

Anonymous said...

they are all kinda lame...get a little more original.

Paul said...

My team name: Puckett Trebek

Anonymous said...

Let's Get Denarded

Anonymous said...

Mark Tex-share-a-ho

Anonymous said...

I've used One Crazy Pitch and No Johnson in my Pence.

Sexy Rexy said...

Come Sale Away

Anonymous said...

Nobody fucks with DeJesus. (from the big lebowski)

Gambling Rob said...

i must go for The Devil Wears Prado, the list is simply too hilarious to handle it at once, i need a break :D

Sexy Rexy said...

Dunn and Dumber

Dumb and Humber

North Down To The Rios Grande

Don't Toews Me Bro (mainly for fantasy hockey)

Heath of the Moment (credit to D.B.)

Granderson Theft Auto

John Nic said...

Carry on my Heyward son

Vinnie said...

Herr Scherzer Throws Gas

lol

Anonymous said...

Yovanni Rubby my Ubaldo Pussy?