Sports: A Game Of Inches

We are four humble men who love sports, but hate sports commentary. Peter Gammons is our hero and John Madden is our enemy. If you were to ask us our purpose, our answer would be simple: "We are forever locked in Mortal Kombat for the souls of sports fans everywhere. Statistics are our science and 'the immeasurable character of men' is the obsolete religion of blind faith. Our job is to prove that God doesn't exist and that athletes are merely cold, metal machines with no hearts or souls."

ESPN has a "who gives a F%*@ department"

I just learned, from the bottom line on ESPN, that Ben Gordon scored the 10 millionth point in NBA history.

1) What are the odds that is actually accurate? None
2) How is this number relevant to anything? It's not
3) Will this information ever be to useful to anyone under any circumstance? Nope
4) Who at ESPN thought this was something that needed to be reported? Tim Kurkjian maybe
5) 10 million? Thats still 48 million less than Ben Gordon is making on his contract. Report that shit