The Replacements vs. The Longest Yard

Although I hate Pod Vader, I really somehow enjoy all of the podcasts he produces. One of which is Play Ball with Amanda and Melissa. The main reason I enjoy them is because of the match ups they do. Before the did TV shows and the fans voted for the best TV shows based off of a NCAA bracket format. Well now, they are doing something similar- but with fictional sports teams. One of which is Keanu Reeves team is the Replacements versus the football team in the Longest Yard (you probably know the shittier Adam Sandler version but Burt Reynolds did an equally shitty version back in the day). So what would happen if those teams played each other, who would win? Well here we go...

The first thing to look at is the offensive and the O-line. Surprisingly, the Washington Sentinals (the team in the Replacements) had a pretty good O-line. In the history of fictional football teams, The Replacements ranked first in terms of pass protection, but only 15th in run blocking. The Mean Machine (the team in the Longest Yard) seemed to have the opposite problem. They ranked first in run blocking but only 16h in pass protection. The Mean Machine O-line's was probably the causal factor in the running because the MM's RB, Megget (played by Nelly), only ranked 13th in DYAR and a mere 25th in DVOA. However, it didn't matter how bad the Sentinals rushing line was because they had a fantastic runner, before he got hurt, who ranked 2nd in DYAR and DVOA.

So the advantage seems to go to the Sentinals, but the passing game seems to tell a different story. When you look at Shane Falco (played by Keanu Reeves) versus Paul Crewe (played by Adam Sandler), one can clearly see that Crewe is the better QB (although it doesn't help that Crewe was a major league QB and Falco only played 4 NFL games). Crewe had a better DYAR, YPA, TD/INT, and yards, although Falco does have the better DVOA, completion percentage, and LNG. Falco seems to have the better arm but, probably due to experience, Crewe is better at playing and "managing the game" I give the slight advantage to Crewe here but I give the bigger advantage to him because of weapons. Deacon Moss (played by Michael Irvin) ranked 3rd in DVOA and 4th in DYAR versus Clifford Franklin (played by Orlando Jones) who was merely ranked 25th in DVOA and 30th in DYAR. Franklin had great speed but his poor hands and inability to run routs made him much less valuable than Gene Hackman thought. However, Falco had the best TE (wasn't drafted because he was deaf) who was first in yards and TDs among tight ends and put up similar peripherals to Deacon Moss although was thrown to much less.

So I give the slight advantage to the Sentinals because their O-line helps plays to the teams strengths and weaknesses although the Mean Machine was certainly hold their own. Now let's analyze the defense.

This is where the Mean Machine's weaknesses really show. The Sentinals were fantastic at rushing the passer ranking first in sacks, 2nd in pass protection, and fifth in running. The Sentinals corners aren't that good but they benefit hugely from the front 7 getting to the QB (similar to the New York Giants the past two years). The Mean Machine on the other hand wasn't really THAT good ranking 15th in sacks, 16th in passing, and 30TH in running. They sort of can get to the QB but teams run all over them leaving them very vulnerable. The fact that the Sentinals RB is very very good and will absolutely destroy the Mean Machine's D, will also help out Shane Falco, who really isn't that good.

I think the offenses are very comparable but the defenses are not even close, and in individual games, I'll take the defense, especially one that can get to the QB as well as the Sentinals can, any day over the offense, especially one I don't thin is THAT good.

So that is why I voted for the Washington Sentinals over the Mean Machine. That and the Longest Yard was a shit movie.