What If Michael Vick Came Back?

I'm not really going to comment about Vick's off-field stuff because 1) You start a dog fighting ring and you get like two years in jail when you run over and kill a guy while drunk driving and you only get 30 days in jail... it's just fucking bullshit and 2) Roger Godell and the courts have already made up their minds about Vick so bitching and moaning won't really do a whole lot of good. But when I can do is comment on how Vick would play if he came back. What if a team signs Michael Vick to be their quarterback? No one can really use objective analysis to decide of he would make a good special teamer or RB or slot receiver or whatever. But I can tell what would probably happen if Vick comes back at QB.

In 2006, the last year Vick played, he ranked 43rd among all active QBs with at least DYAR and 39th in DVOA. Let's put that in perspective, there are only 32 teams in the NFL. Cleveland, Arizona, Philadelphia, Jacksonville, Tampa Bay, Carolina, and Seattle all had two QBs more efficient than Atlanta's one. Now granted this doesn't take into account rushing attempts because that year Vick ran for over 1,000 yards which still helps the team. But still, he was never that good of a NFL QB. In fact, he was downright awful. Let's take a look at his past three season and where he ranked.

Passing DYAR: 43rd
Passing DVOA: 39th
QB Rating: 20th
QB Yards: 22rd
TD: 10th
INT: 15th
Rushing DYAR: 1st
Rushing DVOA: 4th

Passing DYAR: 29th
Passing DVOA: 29th
QB Rating: 25th
QB Yards: 20th
TD: 15th
INT: 25th
Rushing DYAR: 1st
Rushing DVOA: 1st

Passing DYAR: 40th
Passing DVOA: 37th
QB Rating: 21st
QB Yards: 26th
TD: 24th
INT: 17th
Rushing DYAR: 1st
Rushing DVOA: 1st

I don't think you need to understand what all these new fangled statistics actually mean to see all those low numbers. And just realize there are only 32 teams. So in the past three years, Michael has been AWFUL, I mean really fucking bad, like Rex Grossman was a better QB bad, at quarterback. As a QB on his own, no team should ever ever EVER sign him. But he's always been the best rushing QB. So as a QB, you can overlook his passing inefficiencies because of his high rushing efficiencies. But that still only makes him a middle-of-the-pack guy to help a team. But he clearly has this "athleticism" thing all the ESPN analysts are always talking about.

So if I were a GM would I sign Vick as a QB? Absolutely fucking not. But in my subjective opinion would I sign Vick, at least for another position? Well, that's for another post.