Box Score Tonight: Thanksgiving Day Edition

Despite me not having to do anything but eat today, I actually didn't see too much football. I saw the end of both the non-NFL network games so I guess that's a plus? We'll begin just as soon as I keep it close for three quarters and then blow it in the fourth- like I've done for the past decade.

- The Lions actually make this game enjoyable for most of it but of course blow it at the end as the New England Tom Brady's defeat the Detroit Lions away 45-24.
- I have a buddy from "Detroit" tell me why the Lions will continue to play on Thanksgiving. Dan Ilitch owns the Pistons, Tigers, and Red Wings and essentially all of Detroit. He also owns the CBS pre-game show and forces them to give love to the Lions. Which unfortunately means we're stuck with the Lions on TV. Forever.
- After a year's long worth of fantasy mediocrity, Tom Brady goes off for 341 yards, no interceptions, and 4 TDs. Tom Brady throws two, his hair throws one, and the clef in his chin throws one. Deion Branch catches two, Wes Welker catches two and BenJarvin Green Ellis (I feel like I always say The Law Firm and I just want to make sure you know who I'm referring to. I'm sure all five of you do, I'm just covering my ass).
- Tom Brady has a perfect passer rating
- Wes Wekler has also had a mediocre year but returns back to form with eight catches (10 targets) and Branch gets 113 yards on 3 receptions. What they have to be thankful for: the Lions secondary.
- The Pats TE situation is messed up as always but it looks like Rob Gronkowski has replaced Aaron Hernandez. Rob G gets 5 targets (catches them all)and gets 65 yards. A-Hernz catches his lone target and gets 18 yards.
- Shaun Hill makes me regret starting for the second straight week: 285 yards, TD, 2 INTs, 65.9 passer rating.
- The Lions claim Jahvid Best is "injured" but I think it's because they know he sucks. By the way, the dude was injured throughout his career so it should be no shock that he's injured now. In his place Maurice Morris gets 2 TDs on 9 carries. Some guy names Aaron Brown gets 13 carries.
- I'm glad Matt Millen didn't cave in to pressure and actually drafted a wide receiver named Calvin Johnson. He's awesome. Part of that was sarcasm and part of that was seriousness.
- Donkey Kong Suh gets a sack and now has 8 in 11 games. He's a freaking defensive tackle folks.
- Dallas makes it worth our while to put them on Thanksgiving as they keep it close with New Orleans but loses to them 30-27.
- From what I saw of this game Drew Brees looked like his 2009 self at times and like Jake Delhomme in others. He's still very good but I've said it before and I'll say it again- he's not the same guy he was the past few years. He gets 352 yards but only one TD, one INT with a 86.7 passer rating.
- The great Reggie Bush is back! He's the greatest professional running back of all time! He's the centerpiece of this team and the reason they score points! Yet he gets one carry for one yard and one reception (3 targets) for 12 years. Julius Jones gets 10 carries (45 yards) and Chris Ivory gets 7 carries (38 yards) and two of them are rushing TDs
- New Orleans top four wide receivers all have numbers between ten and twenty: Colston (12), Henderson (19), Meachem (17), and Moore (16). It's pretty surprising considering most teams have at least ONE, like an 80 or 81. The order I mentioned is the heirarchy for receiving yards. Colston gets 105 yards and Moore catches Brees' lone TD- which happened to be the go ahead game winner.
- Jon Kitna gets 303 yards, an INT, and no TD. Yeah, suck it Tony Romo!
- Miles Austin is Dallas's leading rusher with 60 yards (and a TD). Felix Jones gets 13 carries, Marion Barber gets 10 and get a rushing TD. Tashard Choice also gets a rushing TD. Jones pulls an LT and also gets 7 receptions for 69 yards.
- Jason Witten led all Cowboys with 10 receptions and 99 yards. Really Witten, you couldn't have gotten one more damn yard! Don't you know people play fantasy football you jagaloon!
- Dallas had seven fumbles in this game but luckily only lost two. My brother thinks Roy Williams was getting too cocky and that was the reason Jenkins stripped him of the ball. It looked like just an a amazing strip and I think no matter what that ball was getting stripped.
- The New York J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets defeat the Cincinnati B-U-N-G-E-L-S Bungels Bungels Bungels 26-10. Finally the the Jets don't "win" in the last minute.
- As quoted from one of the two non-GOI authors GOI fan's facebook page, "‎9-2!!! Brad Smith, you're my hero! Good job New York! J-E-T-S! JETS! JETS! JETS!!!" Brad Smith gets 3 carries for 55 yards and a TD and a 89 yard kick off return. Yay.
- Shonn Grenne gets 18 carries and L.T. only gets 13 and actually gets more rushing yards (70 to 49). LT gets two receptions. Greene gets one. Is this the game Shonn Greene officially takes over LT's role as the best Jets fantasy running back?
- Dustin Keller leads all Jets receivers with 49 yards. Santonio Holmes gets Sanchez' lone TD.
- T.O. was on Revis Island all game apparently because he only gets 3 receptions for 17 yards off of eight targets.
- My favorite Bengals receiver Jordan Shipley has the best Cincy WR fantasy day because he catches Carson Palmer's lone TD
- Cedric Benson has also had a mediocre fantasy year and he continues it today when he gets 18 carries for 41 yards.
- The battle for the best USC quarterback is here! No i'm just kidding because Carson Palmer sucks. He has a 3.6 YPA and a 41.0 passer rating. Mark Sanchez has a 71.4 passer rating.



The One DME Accosted said...

I am sort of sick of "The Law Firm"-as-nickname (although maybe they should use "TLF"?), possibly as a result of, as a NE resident, hearing it constantly.

I am partial to "BJGE", although I suppose a case could be made for "BGE" too.

All I know is whatever you want to call him, he is in my fantasy lineup every week.

Anonymous said...

Just a few things that i thing should be addressed. First it's Mike Illitch who owns everything in Detroit... but he doesn't own the CBS pregame show. Detroit, an NFC team is typically shown on FOX whose biggest sponsor is Ford, who owns the lions. That being said, the old Lions owner thought up the idea of a Thanksgiving day game, and had the Lions play in the very first thanksgiving day football game... It's more the tradition that keeps Detroit going on Tur turkey key day.