Box Score Tonight: TBO version aka The good version

Sexy Rexy is taking a sabbatical to go backpacking through Europe and transverse the Indian Ocean on a 15 foot sail boat solo. Trip will culminate at the Great Wall of China where SR will spray pain GOI on the wall in 50 foot increments. We expect him back for week 9, 2027

-Bears shock the world and pull off the "upset" against the Packers. The final Drive, a la John Elway, was super sweat after Aaron Rodgers made a WWE World Championship belt motion around his waist after running for the score late in the 4th. Yeah, you look like a big man Aaron Rodgers. Try winning the game or beating Brett Favre once before you anoint yourself the G.O.A.T.
-Devin Aromasshodu and Tommy Harris are both healthy scratches for the game. Apparently DA refuses to play the slot receiver spot and Harris just sucks. D/N matter how many hats you sign at training camp buddy
-The running game was non existent for either team. Rodgers out-passed Cutler by 100 yards, but took 18 more attempts to do so. Jermichael Finley is making a case to be the top TE catching 9 balls on 9 targets.
-Devin Hester is back, kinda sorta, with a 62 yard TD punt return. His 12th career return to the hizzy
-KC slapped around the 0-3 49ers, but once again Jones gets more carries, but Charles gets more yards with a 8.1 YPC. Frank Gore made a plea to be a run first team, so the 49ers ran 15 times all game. Goodbye offensive coordinator
-Brett Favre continued being old with a 68 passer rating, but AD picked up the slack with an 80 yard TD run. Hank Baskett made his triumphant return with a holding penalty and 2 drops. At least he didnt "recover" an onside kick with his face mask this time
-Detroit Lions have one weapon. His name is Calvin Johnson. How has he only touched the ball 14 times in 3 games. Just lob it up to him Shaun Hill
-Patriots defense continues to look shaky as they give up 30 points to the Harvard grad Ryan Fitzpatrick led Bills. He did get 2 scores from CJ Spiller. He went to Clemson (Harvard of the South).
-With Maroney traded to the Broncos, the law firm of Ben Jarvis Green Ellis ran 16 times for 98 yards and a score. Brady and his Beiber haircut dominate as Moss catches 2 balls both for scores
- I told Cubsfan not to be surprised if Garrett Hartley doesn't last the season with the Saints before the season. After missing a chip shot to win the game in OT, Saints sign 46 year old John Carney as "insurance" and my prediction is that much closer to reality.
-Tony G grabs 100 yards and a score while Lance "dont call me bass" Moore caught 150 and 2 TDs on the day. Pierre Thomas sucks again. Sexy Rexy put away the Aloe, wherever you are
-Chris Johnson had a horrible day, yet still ran for 125 and 3 scores on 32 carries.
-Giants are in free fall as a team. Put up a ton of yards as usual but leads to only 10 points
-Steelers continue to dominate without Big Ben. This team will be super scary when they can start a QB besides Charlie Batch's corpse. Mendenhall runs for 150 again, get the KY Jelly SR, and Mike Wallace does his best DeShawn Jackson impersonation with 3 catches for 100 yards and 2 TDs.
-Only positive from Bucks side is 55 yards from Syracuse rookie Mike Williams and 3 catches for Illini rookie Arrelious Benn, who still doesnt have a good QB to get him the damn ball playa
-I liked Jimmy Clausen as a college QB. But I can't see him on the pro level. He responds with a 53 QB rating, which I think will be a common occurrence. Panthers need to run the ball on every down. Not joking
-Carson Palmer had an even worse rating than Clausen. While Ochocinco and TO combine for 8 catches on 21 targets Shipley goes 3-3 and Oklahoma monster TE Jermaine Gresham goes 4-6. Owens was a mistake and I would imagine him getting phased out pretty soon...By another tv show
-Ravens has themselves a great day after an abysmal performance against the Bungels. Flacco throws for 3 TDs all to Anquan Boldin. Boldin also threw 1 pass for -6 yards, yet his QB rating was 30 points higher than Palmer/Clausen
-Browns get 144 yards on the ground from Peyton "not a hick" Hillis. Cribbs remains the top receiving option for former Iowa State QB great Seneca Wallace
-Roy Williams, no not the former safety, not not the head coach of the UNC, the former Longhorn/Lions great finally woke up from his self induced coma to score 2 TDs. A much needed win for the 'Boys but Barber gets 17 carrier to Jones' 7. Wat up wit dat holmes?
-Arian Forster has transformed himself from a heavy, no break away speed back in Houston, to an absolute Lebron James type body athletic freak who runs for 100 yards in his sleep. I lub dub this guy. Though he did have a big fumble so I guess Sexy Rexy will hate him eternally
-I think Dan Snyder made a bet with the Devil and lost big time. No matter how much money he spends on the team, he can not catch a break. Losing to the Rams may be a new low. They respond by cutting Larry "I swear I'm not white" Johnson. That's the ticket! McNabb old, Portis old, Deangelo Hall bad, Shawn Taylor dead, Haynesworth AWOL, Moss short. I do like Landy, Rogers, and Orokpo. At least until the devil comes back for more fun
-Steven Jackson may be out with a minor injury, but Bradford is holding up well for a rookie QB with little talent around him. BTW, Chris Long is one of the biggest busts in NFL history. In 35 games, dude has 59 tackles and 9 sacks. My grandma could do that cracker
-Welcome to the Michael Vick experience. That terrible, horrible, dog killing felon leads the NFL with a 111 QB rating, which doesnt include rushing totals which he can do pretty well. 4 total TDs. Deshawn Jackson has to be the fastest guy in the league with another 150 yard performance.
-David Garrard had a 39 QB rating and that is being generous. 105 yards on 30 attempts? My 9 year old niece could do that while watching Wizards of Waverly Place. Dont pretend like you dont watch it, your not better than me. But really, if there's no one to see the Jaguars play, did it really happen? Why yes, yes it did
-Peyton Manning is good at football. He would def be my first pick for Thankgiving 2 hand touch in the backyard. Austin Collie led the world with 12 catches on 16 targets 171 yards and 2 TD. If only Champ Bailey could cover both sides of the field, if only
-Orton washed the Jack Daniels out of his bum beard and threw for 476 yards in the loss of course. Steve Spurrier protege Gaffney had 140 yards while former Illini great, get ready Sexy Rexy cause this is your lucky night, Brandon Llyod had 169 (haha 69) yards and a 2 point conversion
-Matt Leinart must be laughing somewhere right now as Derek Anderson completes less than 50% of his passes. Again. Although a couple TD catches bail them out. Fitzgerald's 12 catches are jealous of Calvin Johnson's 14.
-Raiders get nice performances from Gradkoswki, Run DMC gets 100 yards for the 3rd straight week, and Florida great Louis Murphy is the top receiver on the team, though Hayward-Bey gets 11 targets. Janikowski missed 3 field goals which is bad when you lose by 1
-The Seahawks are 2-1, Carroll must be paying his players, oh wait thats allowed now. No stars on offense but they forced 3 turnovers which won the game.
-Rivers throws for 455 in the loss. I dont think anyone has ever thrown for 450 yards in a win. Just not a good sign. Maybe they could have gotten 500 with Vincent Jackson who is still at home not getting a paycheck
-It's always sunny in NY if your a Jets fan. Sanchez good, Tomlinson back from the dead, Edwards not in jail scoring touchdowns. Life is good, until Sanchez shows his inner Derek Anderson. Dude is not accurate, but if Eli can win a SB, why cant Sanchez
-Forgetting Brandon Marshall catches 10 for 166 despite everyone in the stadium knowing the ball was going to him. Ronnie in completes one pass and has a QB rating higher than David Garrard

If you got this far, good for you! Here's a trivia question. Which Jet got boooooed the loudest against the Dolphins?

Until next week, we..are..OUT!

5 comments:

Sexy Rexy said...

Jesus Christ. We here at GOI never claim to spell check our work, but at least do a re-read once over before you post dude. It looks like a 4th grader wrote this. And at least 4th graders use spell check.

David "MVP" Eckstein said...

Agreed. I got text messages from people who read the blog about how bad you are at proof reading.

The 'Bright' One said...

Took me an hour, that i dont have, to write that shit.

How about you enjoy the content and stop looking for grammar errors

It's not like i made a math error. See math is a natural phenomenon. We dont create the rules, just follow them. The English language is made up shit with made up rules that law students take far too seriously

Sexy Rexy said...

I went back and got most of them. I agree then content is good, but to look over it ONCE would be nice.

And DME, what'd you get ONE text message about our proof reading from hernandez?

Cubsfan4evr said...

For the record I don't think Devin Aromasshodu said he refuses to play the slot. I think he will play it and did in week 1. DA is just not good in the slot. That isn't his stregnth or the type of receiver he is. They seem to only want to play him in the slot or not play him and becuase he is bad in the slot, seems to have lost his place on the team which pains me to say if I am a huge DA fan.
DA and David kelton will be good when they get a real chance.