Box Score Tonight: Week Seven/Early Games Edition

In the 14 team league, the one in which I'm #1 in the standings and #1 in points coming into this week, I was facing the 14th place team. A team that hadn't won a game yet. And on a night where I needed Tony Romo to just be halfway decent, he gets injured and will likely be out the remainder of the season. So needless to say, I not only lost a guy I relied on, but I lost this week. This would help explain my negative undertones throughout this post. I'm pissed.

- To add insult to injury, at home, the Chicago Bears lost to the Washington Redskins 17-14
- You know how I know you're a bad offense, you 1) make DeAngelo Hall look like a good cornerback and 2) You let him be the leading receiver on your team. Hall caught the second most passes of any Bears receiver (4) and had the most yards of any Bears receiver (92 yards and a TD). That was better than the Bears actual leading receiver Johnny Knox: 6/12, 86 yards, and a TD
- Lovie Smith needed to be fired 2 years ago. No surprise this team is bad under him
- D.J. Moore, a back up CB, made an amazing play where he tackled McNabb and while Donovan was falling, he pulled a Brett Favre and threw the ball. That pass was tipped by Israel Idonije and Moore caught the tipped pass and ran it in for a TD
- I feel like a broken record, er, broken record, er broken record- Chester Taylor needs to get more work. He needs to get 10 carries a game. But when Matt Forte only gets 10, its hard.
- I can't stand Torain, he's supa dupa fly! Kudos if you understand my Missy reference. Ryan Torain got 25 carries for 125 yards- good for a 6.0 YPC
- Santana Moss is actually playing like a quality receiver: 5/8, 63 yards, TD
- Donovan McNabb is not- 1/2 TD/INT ratio, 56.8 passer rating
- Atlanta defeats Cincinnati 39-32
- Roddy White is Roddy White is fucking awesome: 11/13, 201 yards, 2 TDs
- Michael Turner finally pulled his head out of his own ass: 23 carries, 121 yards, 2 TDs
- Matt Ryan plays very well. But he's at home so it doesn't count
- I refuse to believe that Carson Palmer's great statistical numbers are true. Must be a glitch on ESPN: 3/0 TD/INT ratio, 412 yards, 116.4 passer rating
- Bungels top 3 wide outs put up great numbers (all have TDs) and in correspondence with their true talent. 1) Jordan Shipley: 6/6 for 131 yards 2) Chad Ochocinco 10/16 for 108 yards 3) T.O. 9/13 for 88 yards
- Tennessee defeats the Kevin Kolb led Eagles 37-19
- Kerry Collins numbers to wide outs other than Kenny Britt: 10/21, 51 yards, 0 TD, 2 INTs. Kenny Britt's numbers: 7/10, 225 yards, 3 TDs.
- I really really really wanted to see Chris Johnson pass Eric Dickerson's record but the other person to do that this year is Steven Jackson (for another reason/record). CJ has pretty bad numbers: no TDs and 66 yards on 24 carries (2.8 YPC)
- Kevin Kolb's line: who cares, Michael Vick is playing next week
- Jeremy Maclin gets 16 targets but my 2008 Madden MVP Jason Avant ties for the Eagles lead in receptions (6) and leads the team in yards (60)
- LeSean McCoy saw how Johnson was playing and decided he too wanted to play pretty bad: 0 TDs and 48 yards on 16 carries (3.0 YPC)
- The Kansas City Patriots defeat a Florida football team nobody cares about 42-20
- Who knew Matt Cassel was actually a capable quarterback. Sure he played like the definition of a "game manager" but he still ended up with a 144.0 passer rating. His line: 13/18, 193 yards, 2 TDs, 0 INT.
- Despite Thomas Jones being the better running back in Week 7 (125 yards and a touchdown on 20 carries) he still needs to get significantly less work than the more talent Chiefs RB Jamaal Charles (71 yards and a TD on 15 carries)
- Both of Cassel's two touchdown's went to Dwayne Bowe who only caught three passes (5 targets)
- Todd Bauman (68.5), who hasn't played a game in I believe, literally, five years had a better quarterback rating that Jay Cutler (54.3). Still better than Todd Collins.
- MJD played just as well as Chris Johnson on the ground (47 yards and zero TDs on 16 carries) as CJ but makes up for it in the air (5/6, 74 yards, and a TD). Mike Sims-Walker also gets a receiving TD.
- Pittsburgh barely squeaks by Miami 23-22
- By now you should have seen the Big Ben replay. It was a fumble.
- Ben Roesthlisberger is back to himself (on the football field Ben, not in a bar Ben): 19/27, 302 yards, 2 TDs, 0 INTs
- Rashard Mendenhall also decided to play like CJ: 37 yards and 0 TDs on 15 carries. maybe instead of my normal "Illini Jerk Off Alert" I should just have a section, guys who played just as well as Chris Johnson. I'd put myself on that list.
- Hines Ward and Mike Wallace get a TD each. Again.
- Brian Hartline and Brandon Marshall have the exact same numbers: 5 receptions, 57 yards, 0 TDs. Even Hartline got 5 targets and Marshall got 9. Sidenote, I'm really regretting dropping Davone Bess (especially considering my opponent this week had him and used him against me). 6/7, 66 yards and a TD
- Both Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams don't do squat
- Cleveland upsets New Orleans 30-17. New Orleans are not a good football team and it's not just because of this loss.
- The Browns did not ask Colt McCoy to do a whole lot. But the defense (mainly D-lineman David Bowens with two pick sixes) and Peyton Hilis (69 yards and a TD on 16 carries) put the team on their back and pull out a win.
- A week after saying I would never start Marques Colston again, I started him. And it paid off: 10/15, 112 yards, TD.
- Chris Ivory thought his last name was Johnson today- 48 yards and 0 TDs on 15 carries.
- Drew Brees pulled out his inner Jay Cutler and got picked 4 times. Still had 356 yards and 2 TDs though.
- The Bucs eek by the Rams 18-17. I'm legitimately surprised that both Josh Freeman and Cadallic Williams were responsible for that.
- LaGarrett Blount punched his way to be the Bucs leading rusher: 72 yards on 11 carries (6.5 YPC)
- Mike Williams (5/11, 82 yards, 0 TDs) and Josh Freeman (80.4 passer rating) are very solid reality and fantasy football players
- Steven Jackson is the Rams leading rusher on the day and all time (passing Dickerson). He also was the Rams leading receiver in yards (35). The Rams wide out that was fantasy relevant today was Danny Amendola because he got a TD.
- Panthers get their first win of the season defeating the 49ers. You're on your way to winning that division huh San Fran?
- I'm convincing myself that the absence of offensive lineman is severely affecting DeAngelo Williams and The Daily Show: 73 yards on 33 carries. Frank Gore got 29 more yards (Stewart's total rushing yardage number) by himself. On 14 less carries.
- Matt Moore actually got over 300 passing yards on less than 60 attempts (he got 41). That's a legit impressive feat for a Panthers QB this year.
- David Carr finally replaces Alex Smith. Unfortunately it was because Smith got injured. This move should have happened sooner. Although David Carr also sucks and doesn't have the excuse now of playing behind an offensive worse than the Bears line (an excuse he had in Texas).
- Again Frank Gore does amazing things through the air and on the ground and again he doesn't get a TD. Vernon Davis does. For all those haters (and a little bit I was one of them) who thought he couldn't be awesome again, you are being proven wrong.
- The Baltimore Ravens barely made it of the elite class because they lost to New England last week by 3. This week they absolutely left the elite class by barely defeating the Buffalo Bills. It took a forced fumble and a field goal to do it. If you're truly elite you should have blown th Bills out of the water. They win 37-34.
- Mea culpa on Ray Rice and Joe Flacco. Flacco looks like a decent QB must nowhere close to the #6 fantasy QB on the like I ranked him. And Ray Rice should have gotten 150 rushing yards and few TDs along with like 50 receiving yards. Instead he gets 72 rushing yards (on 16 carries), one receiving yard, and no touchdowns. Willis McGahee does get a goal line TD.
- Anquan Boldin is Anquan Boldin is, um, himself. 6/13, 92 yards, and a TD. Todd Heap gets 2 TDs.
- Ryan Fitzpatrick is using his Harvard degree more than Mark Zuckerberg: 29/43, 374 passing yards, 4 TDs, 2 INT, and a 106.2 passer rating.
- It looks like TBO's prediction that C.J. Spiller is slipping away. Although I fear he'll win it just because we have a touches minimum and Spiller won't meet is. He has 39 on the year and got 7 yesterday (no receptions). He's on pace for 104. Our minimum is 200. And Spiller has played in all 6 games.
- Fred Jackson is the main back and gets 73 yards on 23 carries.
- I don't know if you've heard of Buffalo's receives (I'm not being sarcastic like I normally am. Seriously, have you heard of these receivers?) but they put up monster numbers. Lee Evans had 105 yards and THREE touchdowns. Steve Johnson had 158 yards and a TD.

And that's the way the cookie crumbles. My apologies for any spelling/grammatical errors. I'm sure there's a handful.


The 'Bright' One said...

spelling and grammar i can live with. getting the bears score wrong is more concerning. You did watch the game, right?

I still love jay cuntler. Love his post game quote. If we played the redskins again, we would go right after D Hall again. aka, everyone knows he sucks.

Is cutler the D Hall of QBs?

Sexy Rexy said...

Oh shit, what did I say the score was? I was blinded by anger

I did see that cutler post game quote and I love it! I just flat out forgot to put it in