Box Score Tonight: TBO Edition

Sexy Rexy was too busy pimping out his bitches and hoes this week to watch any football, so TBO has to do Box Score Tonight in the middle of midterms. I better get a discount Sexy Rexy that's all i'm sayin

  • The Jags win their second straight game after MJD called out the team, though it was against the Bills so I'll give them half a win. Mike Sims-Walker wakes up from the dead for a TD score and Garrard has a very Garrard game. 80% 3/1 TD/INT
  • Despite trading away Marshawn Lynch, CJ Spiller only gets 5 carries. Maybe thats why you suck Buffalo. That or your overweight cheerleaders. In you face
  • News flash, TO has ideas about how to get the Bengals to start scoring some points, but no one will listen to him. He is getting the ball, a lot with a second 100+ yard game and a TD. Ochocinco on the other hand is quickly becoming the 2nd if not 3rd option for Palmer and his 78 QB rating
  • Tampa is quietly 3-1 and Josh Freeman may actually be a legit QB one day. 85 QB rating as a 22 year old is pretty sweat.
  • Michael Turner finally breaks out 2008 style with 140 yards. Seneca Wallace got hurt so the Browns had to it was Jake Delhomme time! 13/23 97 yards 2 int. Giggidy giggidy goo
  • Sam Bradford struggles against the Detroit D as the Lions lay a 38 point wooping on the Rams. 5 different receivers all catch 4 passed for the Lions, CJ gets another TD
  • Peyton Manning puts up a 65 QB rating so the Colts lost, right? Nope. Colts run 20 more plays than the Chiefs, hold the ball and win 19-9. No receiver on the Chiefs is worth owning, but Jamal Charles is finally the #1 back
  • TBO picked GB to lose to Washington, because I just dont believe in the cheeseheads the way everyone else does. No RB, too many injuries, you just cant win like that especially when the #1 receiver Jennings d/n show up half the time
  • Nothing of note for the Skins, but if your a fan just be happy you finally have a good coach. Not hard when you follow Jim Zorn to be honest
  • Ta da da Chicago Bears, 4-1 baby. When you win a game where your QB completes just 2 less passes to the other team, than he does to his own is pretty impressive. 6.2 rating. Is Collins cut yet? My intramural football QB is better than Collins. Matt Forte woke up on the right side of the bed Sunday and ran for 166 and 2 TD. I'll take it. And Peppers is really good at football
  • Kyle Orton has another 300 yard game, so I'm guessing Josh McDaniels can make anyone a legit QB, but they are dead last in rushing (I assume without looking it up). Alert Alert Bradon Lloyd 135 yards and 2 TDs. In the words of Hawk Harrelson, "you've got to be [bleeping] me, MERCY!
  • Still Ray Rice dominates the game on the ground with 2 scores and anyone knows the run beats the pass 70% of the time, everytime
  • Tiki Barber called out the Giants for quiting on their coach, so they responded by knocking out fools. Dominated the Bears, now dominate the Texans. Hakeem Nicks goes Brandon Lloyd and Foster and Johnson just get shut down
  • Cardinals finally get a win under rookie Max Hall. They don't score any offensive TDs with a QB rating of 65 and a YPC of 1.7, but the D scores 3 times, include 1/2 of my favorite NFL relative Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie
  • Drew Brees continues to struggle, though Colston finally breaks out for 97 yards
  • Alert Alert Alert the Cowboys are 1-3. Oh no, hell is freezing over, this cannot be. Not Americas team. Who the frick cares. Most of us dont even remember the great Cowboys teams so the only thing any of us remember is their lack of a playoff win. Ever. Still Romo dominates, Felix Jones is getting his carries, and Miles Austin may be the top receiver in the game. Still so many issues, starting and ending with Wade Phillips.
  • Vince Young just wins. Plays solid, hands off to CJ, who runs for 130 and 2 scores. Yes, he is struggling, yet still on pace for 1552 yards on the ground. Not too shaby
  • Jason Campbell got his job back from the griddy, scrappy Bruce Gradkowski and does a superb job. On the other side Phillip Rivers keeps rising up the QB depth chart, but has so little help on the ground and defense. Kinda sad
  • Kevin Kolb can play a little QB. Still not up to par with Michael Vick, but showed some nice skills of his own. McCoy is the next great Pitt grad following Larry Fitzgerald and Darrell Revis. On the other sidelines, Mike Singletary should do a little less screaming and a bit more coaching. Ohh, and Michael Crabtree looks like the Texas Tech Michael Crabtree for the first time
  • I am so on the Jets bandwagon. Revis and the other half of my fav relatives Antonio Cromartie. Santonio Holmes and Edwards. Green and Tomlinson. Mangold and Feguson. Pretty solid
  • Favre plays like shit, dont care about his 3TDs. Apparently Randy Moss only knew one route cause he just went deep on every play and it only worked once. Favre may actually have to miss a game with tendinitis of the elbow. Or tendinosis to be more accurate.
In related news, do you think the NFL will have to take out the chains to measure the pics Brett Favre sent to Jenn Sterger. Zing!


Sexy Rexy said...

I love your box score tonights. And very minimal spelling errors this time around. All around impressive work sir!

Sexy Rexy said...

I also voted for the Cromartie cousins as my favorite NFL relatives. I was also disappointed to learn they are not brothers.

Sexy Rexy said...

And because you wrote this post I will give you a 30% discount. But only on brunettes.