The Big 10 = That Crazy Uncle At Christmas

My Cousin Vinny is one of my favorite movies ever. I've seen it probably at least 15 times (twice last semester to "study" for Evidence) and that scene where Joe Pesci is cross examining the witness about eating grits is one of the funniest scenes ever. Another funny scene is where, in the midst and stress of preparing for the case, Pesci yells at his fiance Lisa, played wonderfully by Marissa Tomei, for stresing him out. He says to her:

Lisa, I don't need this. I swear to God, I do not need this right now, okay? I've got a judge that's just aching to throw me in jail. An idiot who wants to fight me for two hundred dollars. Slaughtered pigs. Giant loud whistles. I ain't slept in five days. I got no money, a dress code problem, AND a little murder case which, in the balance, holds the lives of two innocent kids. Not to mention your BIOLOGICAL CLOCK - my career, your life, our marriage, and let me see, what else can we pile on? Is there any more SHIT we can pile on to the top of the outcome of this case? Is it possible?

Well the Big 10 kind of reminds me of this speech. What other shit can they pile on to make things worse?

It all started off when they added Nebraska to the Big 10. That move in and of itself was wonderful. I'm all for expanding the conference (although I would have loved Texas, but such is life) and Nebraska is a great football program. But this is just the murder case. But this is before Vinny Gambini arrived on the scene.

The first problem arose when the Big Ten refused to change their name. Naming your conference the Big Ten with 11 teams is fine. But with the addition of Nebraska, that makes it 12 teams in the conference. So now there are 12 teams in th Big Ten and 10 teams in the Big Twelve.

Next, the conference decided to split the 12 teams into two divisions and added a Conference Championship Game to the football schedule. Again, another great idea. But the crap that was added to this was the naming of the two divisions. One is the "Leaders" division and the other is the "Legends" division.

Really Big Ten!? Really!? Those names are so dumb that there needs to be an SNL skit Really!? With Seth and Amy to discuss the stupidity of those names. How did no one in that room throw out the guy who suggested it? I don't care if the Commissioner Jim Delany himself came up those retarded names. Someone in that meeting room needed to say, "Those are the worst names ever. You have made every one in this room stupider for having to listen to you and may God have mercy on your soul" and then thrown him out of a window like an Arnold Schwartzenegger movie.

But icing on top of the cake was the new logo that has been unveiled. I'm a big fan of the old logo with the number "11" hidden within the "Big Ten" lettering to signify there are 11 teams in the Big Ten. But with the addition of Nebraska, the conference needed a new logo. And this is the shit they came up with: Good lawd I hate this logo and I think the vast majority of people are in agreeance with me. Not only is this way to simple and something I would have made as an art project when I was five, but it doesn't convey that there are 12 teams like I think it should.

Now I love the Big Ten because it's my home conference and I'll have loyalty to it until the day I die/ if Illinois ever leaves it, but the Big Ten have just made a string of bad after awful after worse decisions since adding Nebraska that I just can't agree with. Just like Adam Carolla ranting about how movie executives shouldn't get to keep their jobs for all the dumb fuck mistakes they make, I think the same applies to Delany and the people running this conference.