Box Score Tonight: Week Fifteen/Late Games Edition

We'll begin with the few late editions just as soon as my defense helps protect my reputation and my pretty boy smile.

- While the opening line was meant to be a stab at Mark Sanchez, I really just didn't have anything to go off of because in like the three afternoon games, nothing major happened.
- So in honor of my loyal GOI fans, we'll start off with the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets. Although I was surprised by the lack of facebook statusry. And no, "statusry" is not one of my many spelling errors.
- In a stunner the New York Jets defeat the Pittsburgh Steelers 22-17
- I want to like Mark Sanchez, I really do. Despite my immense hatred towards USC because of the love ESPN gives them, I feel bad for everyone hating on Sanchez. I saw Sanchez play in the beginning of the year and he looked good to me and wasn't making any interceptions. But he's looked pretty bad of late and he's "needed" to make comebacks late in recent games because he was so bad in the beginning of them, but it's games like these I'd like him to step up and be better. I understand it's the vaunted Pittsburgh Steelers but the Jets score because of Nick Folk field goals, a Brad Smith kick return, and a little hat. Yeah yeah yeah a Sanchez TD run in there as well, but I dunno, I don't like that 81.1 passer rating. Maybe I'm just being a hater.
- Tomlinson gets 11 carries. Greene gets 12. Neither get above 50 rushing yards. LT still makes me regret that I benched him, but by default. Stupid Anthony Dixon.
- As much as I just hated on Sanchez, I think we all forget what a bad season Roethlisberger is having with his 78.2 passer rating in this game. You can blame it on the revolving, Bears-esque offensive line and Big Ben is injured. But when you go out and play as poorly as Ben is, you can't make excuses. You either play well or you sit because you're hurting your team playing injured/poorly. Big Ben also had 2 fumbles.
- Illinois alum Rashard Mendenall just goes out there and is solid and sturdy and just performs. 17 carries, 100 yards, TD. Mike Wallace makes me looks good and why I liked him in the beginning of the year and was even on his boat with his AWFUL start of the year: 7 of 10, 102 yards, TD in this game.
- Atlanta Falcons destroy the Seattle Cheating Carrols in Qwest Field like we all expected they would.
- Michael Turner is very good. Roddy White is better. Matty Ice is average/below average outside of a dome and Jason Snelling steals from fantasy value from Turner with a receiving TD. That's all you need to know about the Dirty Birds.
- Matt Hasselbeck has two INT's early and ends up with a 28.9 passer rating. He also fumbled. So he gets pulled for Charlie Whitehhurst. Listen, just because you saw Rex Grossman be competent early in the day doesn't mean YOUR crappy back up will be as well. I don't care how bad Hasselbeck is playing, he's still better than Charlie Whitehurst who finished the day with no picks or touchdowns, 83 yards on 16 attempts, and a 65.4 passer rating.
- Marshawn Lynch actually is pretty decent and NOT shitty in Week 15. He gets 60 yards on 12 carries (5.0 YPC) and a receiving TD. This vaunted Atlanta rushing D is not what it used to be at the beginning of the season.
- With Seattle and St. Louis losing today, it's not only realistic, but possible that the NFC West winner will only win 7 games and thus be under .500. This is not only the worst division in football, but currently the worst division in sports and might be the worst division ever in history. If the NFC West winner doesn't get at least 8 wins, the NFL needs to immediately change the rules and take away an automatic playoff birth. Hell, even if they get 8 wins, either the Giants or Packers will miss the playoffs and have a better record than the NFC West winner. This is like the ACC winner in college football getting an automatic BCS birth but the 7th ranked Michigan State gets left out.
- The Oakland Raiders defeat the Denver Tim Tebow's 39-23
- So far, all Tim Tebow has done is perform and be awesome. Maybe it's because team's don't have enough video on him and we get the 2006 Rex Grossman effect, but come on, who doesn't have tape of Tebow in college? Tebow's numbers on the day: 8 for 16, 138 yards, 1 passing TD, no INTs, and a 100.5 passer rating. He also gets 78 yards off of 8 carries and a rushing TD. He's like Michael Vick light! But like everyone anointing Jay Bruce the best outfielder ever after only like his first two weeks in the majors, let's wait and see how Tebow does with a few seasons under his belt.
- Knowshown Moreno only gets 5 yards on 4 carries. Sorry buddy, this is the Tim Tebow show!
- Illinois alum Brandon Llyod is the only Broncos receiver above one catch (4) and led all Broncos in yards (79), targets (5), and touchdowns (1).
- I've said it before and I'll say it again, Jason Campbell is only allowed a certain number of good games a year and I think he's used them all up in 2010. He has a 69.1 passer rating because of his two picks to one TD and his 15 for 26 for 238 yards.
- Run DMC shows why he wear his Adidas' to show us why it's tricky to walk this way. He gets 119 yards on 20 carries. And another frustrating thing for TBO's team is that my boy Jacoby Ford gets a rushing TD (on a 71 yard rush) and Michael Bush gets the other two rushing TD's of the game. Third string running back Marcel Reese led all Raiders receivers in yards (79) and TDs (1). Mainly because of a 73 yards TD reception by him. I'm sure that was all Reece and had nothing to do with Campbell.
- Because I think it's a funny name, the Bronco's kicker's name is Hauschka. Also, I never want to try and pronounce or write that name again.

I need a new way to end these things.

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