Box Score Tonight: Week Sixteen/ Night Games Edition

We'll begin just as soon as I stop celebrating from the fact that the Bears get a first round bye. One of the few, if not the only times I will say this, "Thank You Minnesota Vikings"

But first, we'll begin with the Monday Night Football game
- Matty Ice! Oh wait. Sad trombone wah, wah. Matt Ryan had only lost one game at home before MNF. Now he has two as the New Orleans Saints defeat the Atlanta Falcons 17-14. I'm pretty sure Jay Cutler was the first of those 2 loses.
- Instead of watching this game I went and saw The Fighter. After hearing the end of the game on the radio and seeing the highlights/ box score, I still don't regret my decision. Although what a great MNF game, huh?
- Illinois Jerk Off Alert- Pierre Thomas: 19 carries, 63 yards (3.3 YPC), TD, 7 catches/targets, 39 receiving yards. Devery Henderson, Julius Jones, Reggie Bush, and Drew Brees each get one carry.
- Drew Brees is still having interception problems this year which is why I've been downgrading him but I think it's safe to say he was not affected by the Madden curse. Some of the interceptions he made (especially the shovel pass one) were truly horrendous and even Jay Cutler is looking at those passes and thinking, "What the hell was that!?". But Brees comes back and wins the game. His final numbers: 71% completion percentage, 302 yards, 1/2 TD/INT ratio, below average 77.1 passer rating.
- Normally the only New Orleans wide out you can trust is Marques Colston. Well not this week. Colston's numbers: 2/5, 21 yards. This week was the Robert Meachum show. His numbers on the day: 10 receptions (13 targets), 101 yards.
- Jimmy Graham gets Brees' lone TD and outside of Thomas and Meachum, no receiver caught more than 4 passes.
- Matty Ice fails. I still don't like him and I don't think my hatred of him is as irrational as my Eli Manning hate but it's games like these that give me justification to not like Ryan. After the Saints took the lead, Ryan and the Falcons had a chance to at least tie the game and didn't. After a great Ryan run, the Falcons go three and out, punt the ball, and never see it again. So much for being that great comeback kid leader. His final, pedestrian numbers: 52% completion percentage, 148 yards, 1 TD, 0 INTs, 77.9 passer rating.
- There's a legitimate argument to be made why Ryan is a Pro Bowler this year, but not ahead of Vick and Brees (who made it) and Aaron Rodgers (who did not).
- Speaking of Pro Bowlers, Michael "The Burner" Turner deserved to be one of them (by default). I'm convinced the way Turner has played this year that if Ryan Grant was healthy, I would have lost my bet to Cubsfan4evr1 that Turner would be the better fantasy back. His final, pedestrian numbers: 17 carries, 48 yards (2.8 YPC). Matt Ryan (4) had more carries than Jason Snelling (1).
- Roddy White acts like the Pro Bowl starter that he his and he is hands down the best wide out in the NFC this year. His numbers on MNF: 3/5, 41 yards, TD. OK, those don't scream Pro Bowl, but he's had a great great great year. I'm eagerly awaiting Cubsfan's comments about how he also loves White.
- Michael Jenkins has quietly been a darn good receiver this year. He put up numbers eerily similar to White on Monday night. All right. That rhymes. 5/9, 40 yards. OK, maybe not THAT eerily.
- Thank you thank you thank you Joe Webb and the Minnesota Vikings for defeating the Eagles in Philadelphia 24-14 on Tuesday night. Hey, that's what you get when you act like pussies and don't play in the snow. Not my words but Philly's mayors words. I know Philadelphia fans are the biggest cunts in sports, but when your own city's mayor is calling you "pussies"!? I mean, come on.
- Joe Webb (87.8) has a better QB rating than Michael Vick (74.1). Webb doesn't have an interception, but he doesn't get a passing TD either. But he did get a rushing TD. So did Vick. Vick had one TD and interception and got 63 rushing yards on 8 "carries". On the Twitter, analysts are claiming that this game just lost Vick the MVP. That may be going a bit too far but wouldn't surprise me either. I honestly don't know who I think the MVP should be and I would not be upset if either Vick or Tom Brady won it.
- All Day's numbers on the day: 118 yards in 22 carries (5.4 YPC). If LeSean McCoy (44 yards on 13 carries (3.4 YPC), 4/5, 41 receiving yards) is getting screwed out of a Pro Bowl birth and obviously won't start, then AD needs to be the Pro Bowl starter. Those two guys are the clear cut top two backs in the NFC this year. Fuck Michael Turner.
- Brent Celek and DeSean Jackson led all receivers in this game with 12 targets. Celek catches 10 of them for 97 yards. On the other hand, Jackson only catches two of them for 32 yards. Let me repeat that because I don't know if that sunk in, DeSean Jackson gets TWELVE targets and only catches TWO passes. How does DeSean Jackson get 12 targets and NOT get 200+ receiving yards!?
- Percy Harvin's migraines take a break as he catches 7 out of his 8 targets for 100 yards on the button. Let's hope the NFL doesn't take one of those yards back a la Rashard Mendenhall last week. Sidney Rice only catches one of his 5 targets for 16 yards. It's a sad state of affairs when you have as many receiving yards as Bernard Berrian. It's even sadder when Berrian has more catches and less targets than you while doing it.

DONE!

Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads.