Box Score Tonight: Week Fifteen/Thursday Night Football Edition

Sorry I was gone awhile and stopped writing BST. I had to find myself because I was sick of this materialistic world that we live and I was sick of the lies my parents told me and tell themselves. So to get away from it all I hitch hiked my way up to Alaska. Along the way I met some incredible people and because of my young and gregarious personality I was easily able to get by. It was weird when some old dude wanted to adopt me but other than that it was great. I lived in an old VW in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness. But then I ate some poisonous berries, got sick, and realized I missed football too much. So now I'm back and so is Box Score Tonight. And we'll begin just as soon as dominate in December like I always do.

- In Qualcomm Stadium and in December, the San Diego Chargers defeated the San Francisco 49ers 34-7.
- While I have not been able to watch football (aside from Bears football) recently I promise I will get back to it. But not right now because I don't get stupid NFL Network. I think I need to protest in Congress again. Plus, it's sports, I can get all I need from box scores.
- Vincent Jackson is back and healthy as he scored all three of Philip Rivers touchdowns. All two owners who are still in the playoffs, stuck with Jackson all season, and actually started him in their fantasy leagues are happy. Jackson also catches 5 out of his 7 targets are leads all receivers in this game with 112 yards.
- Rivers has a nearly perfect passer rating with 150.5. He completed 19 out of his 25 passes with no touchdowns. I'm happy that I own Rivers in one league I'm in. I'm conflicted though about the GOI league because TBO's opponent started Rivers. I want TBO to lose on the extreme off chance I win my match up this week because he'll crush me in the playoffs, but the kid who owns Rivers talks more shit than Rivers himself and I want see him get eliminated as well.
- Ryan Matthews and Mike Tolbert each get 17 carries and Matthews is the effective runner with his 56 yards compared to Tolbert's 46. But Tolbert gets the TD which makes you feel better about you benching Matthews like you should have.
- Antonio Gates missed another week and Randy McMichael does fine (for fantasy owners) in his place catching all 5 of his targets for 55 yards. Five. Malcolm Floyd, Seyi Ajirotutu, Patrick Crayton, and Legedu Naanee all don't play due to injury. For most of the season Rivers has played with a receiving corps that rivals the great St. Louis and Cleveland receiving corps. And that's why Rivers deserves the MVP.
- After a great week 14 Alex Smith reverts back to Alex Smith with his 66.0 passer rating, no TDs, and an INT.
- Vernon Davis shits out a goose egg and throws it on your fantasy scoreboard. He caught one pass for four yards.
- Josh Morgan led all 49er receivers catching 7 out of his 9 targets for 106 yards.
- Michael Crabtree gets one more catch (3 to 2) and three more yards (17 to 14) than Ted Ginn Jr. Hooray for you to help prove your point why Oakland should have picked you by showing your on equal crappy ground as Ted Ginn Jr!
- As a Frank Gore fantasy owner I knew he would get injured so I picked up Anthony Dixon and dropped Brian Westbrook very early in the season. In an episode of The League, Kevin is facing his wife Jenny in a match up. Because all the writers of The League knew Frank Gore would be injured but didn't know when, they wrote in an episode where Gore goes down. But in the show it was only like Week Four of the season. Jenny owned Gore so to spite his wife Kevin picks up Brian Westbrook thinking he was so smart. But Jenny picks up Anthony Dixon and, in the show, Dixon runs wild helping Jenny's fantasy team defeat Kevin. If only this were true in REAL LIFE! Stupid freaken Anthony Dixon and getting carries at the beginning of the season!!!
- Westbrook gets eight carries with a 2.8 YPC. Dixon gets six carries with a 5.5 YPC. Yet Westbrook gets the TD and I'm yelling curse words at ESPN.com because I have Dixon and am forced to start him. Stupid 4th and goal play getting tackled in the backfield Anthony Dixon!!! But hey, I'm totally not bitter, can't you tell?

And we...aRE... OUT!

Kudos to you if you actually get my reference from the opening paragraph. Although you have my pity of you read the book/ saw the movie, or like me, had to do both.