Sports: A Game Of Inches

We are four humble men who love sports, but hate sports commentary. Peter Gammons is our hero and John Madden is our enemy. If you were to ask us our purpose, our answer would be simple: "We are forever locked in Mortal Kombat for the souls of sports fans everywhere. Statistics are our science and 'the immeasurable character of men' is the obsolete religion of blind faith. Our job is to prove that God doesn't exist and that athletes are merely cold, metal machines with no hearts or souls."

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Lady Gaga Is Fucking Retarded

I really think Lady Gaga has a mental disorder. Here's what she wore at the VMA's, it included a fucking neck brace! Who does that!? She also had a fucked up performance. Can we as a nation please stop pouring praise to her! Seriously everyone at the VMA's was jerking off to Lady Gaga like people at ESPN jerk off to Derek Jeter