Bizarro Baseball

When some people want to learn how to not suck at batting, they take lessons from a guy who walks 90+ times a season and has 60 home run power (albeit with steroids). Lastings Milledge, however, is getting batting advice/approval from none other than Corey Patterson.

Aggressive Milledge Seeking Lost Form

From August 1 until the end of last season, Milledge hit .318/.378/.485 with 7 homers and 11 steals in only 52 games by swinging less at bad pitches.

SYRACUSE, N.Y. -- Corey Patterson took his place behind the batting cage, nodding in approval as Lastings Milledge took his cuts.

For your consideration, Corey Patterson is a lifetime .253/.291/.407 hitter. He has only once (in his injury-shortened 2003 season) slugged above .450. He has only once walked more than 23 times in a season. Only once hit more than 16 home runs in a season. Only thrice hit over 19 doubles in a season. Only once batted above .276 (again, the injury-shortened 2003 season) and only twice batted above .269. His career wOBA is .305.

Who now, who I asks, gives a shit if Corey Patterson gives approval of another's approach at the plate? That's like saying L. Ron Hubbard approves of another person's made up religion.

An impending storm forced the players to the indoor cages before a recent rainout here at Alliance Bank Stadium, where playing baseball in April is typically a risky proposition. Five other members of the Syracuse Chiefs lingered, waiting their turn, knowing the extra work would not come in handy on this night.

But the veteran outfielder Patterson intently watched Milledge, the talented 24-year-old abruptly demoted to Class AAA by the Washington Nationals after one week and 24 at-bats. Milledge, the team's Opening Day center fielder and leadoff batter. Milledge, one of the young foundations on a franchise dying for any sort of progress.

Milledge wanted more time. "It was just one week," he said.

With Adam Dunn, a healthy/productive Austin Kearns and Elijah Dukes in the outfield mix, Lastings Milledge never really belonged as the starting CF in the first place. Where Milledge had a -5.1 UZR/150 in CF this season (-20.1 UZR/150 last season), was walking 4.0% (6.8% last season) of the time and had zero XBHs (.134 ISO last season), Dukes has been worth +2.7 fielding runs (+44.3 UZR/150 last season) in +300 innings of outfield play, walking at a 9.4% clip (15.3 BB% last year, 14.5% career) and has already racked up 3 homers with a .208 ISO (.213 ISO last season). Elijah Dukes is, in every possible capacity, better than Lastings Milledge.

Now, nearly three weeks into his minor league assignment, Milledge proclaims his swing is back. He quickly ditched the patient approach Washington wanted from him. He is here, the unlikeliest of places as the second month of the baseball season commences, free-swinging with a sour taste in his mouth.

Hitting for average is not the by product of impatient hacking, but rather that of good pitch recognition, hitting line drives and having good speed.

"I can see it through his actions that he has a plan now and it's coming out," said Patterson, a nine-year major league player. "Where before, like the first one or two days, I didn't see that."

The best and only nice thing that the Wall Street Journal can say about Corey Patterson is that he is "a nine-year major league player."

The Nationals had justification for the demotion. Milledge hit .167 in his seven games at the top of the order. He struck out 10 times against one walk. Washington's leading home run and run producer in 2008 had mustered zero homers and one RBI. Also, he struggled in center field.

Technically, the team's leading runs producers, in terms of wOBA, was Elijah Dukes -- who, in under 300 ABs, had 13 home runs. In fact, the following players (min 150 PA) all were better at runs creation than Lastings Milledge (.325 wOBA, below league average) last season: Elijah Dukes (.382 wOBA), Nick Johnson (.374 wOBA), Ronnie Belliard (.369 wOBA), Ryan Langerhans (.353 wOBA), Dmitri Young (.352 wOBA), Cristian Guzman (.341 wOBA), Willie Harris (.340 wOBA), Ryan Zimmerman (.336 wOBA).

To his credit however, Lastings Milledge's trying to kill your wife per nine (TKW/9) is much lower than Elijah Dukes, dawg.

It still doesn't sit well with Milledge, who wears a blue T-shirt and red shorts emblazoned with Nationals logos. He says he has lost faith in the organization's coaching staff.

Baseball gave up on more than just the National's coaching staff loooooong ago.

"From now on, I'm going to do what I feel like I have to do to be the best for the team, regardless of what other people say," Milledge said. "When it's all said and done, I know myself better than anyone else."

Just watch this:

The transition to leadoff for an aggressive hitter such as Milledge was underestimated, he said. The Nationals wanted a different approach at the plate from a player who has struggled through his first two major league seasons to stay consistent.

If I ran a baseball team, I'd want a different approach from a guy who hit .267/.326/.400 in just over 1000 career PA too.

That is why, for now, the experiment is on hold.

Actually, the .299/.365/.506 and +2.7 fielding runs above average put up by Elijah Dukes this season is the reason the experiment is on hold, dawg.

Since joining the Chiefs on April 17, Milledge has yet to bat first. Instead, he has batted second 10 times and third four times. Through 14 games in Syracuse, Milledge is hitting .263, with a .333 slugging percentage, four doubles and three RBI. He still hasn't homered.

"I don't think he's a leadoff hitter," Syracuse Manager Tim Foli said.

A .326 OBP has not screamed "bat me first" since Joe Torre realized that playing Juan Pierre on the bench was more valuable to the team than playing him in the #1 hole.

Foli said Milledge's primary task while at Class AAA is to build a routine that will breed that consistency. For Milledge, that means returning to what he knows best.

Did you watch the youtube video I just posted?

Milledge is a free swinger, not the usual mold of a leadoff batter. He said Nationals officials wanted him to see 12 to 15 pitches per game, which meant taking more pitches than usual. Here, there are no guidelines.

This sentence sounds like a monologue from the baseball remake of Logan's Run.

Nationals acting general manager Mike Rizzo was noncommittal on Milledge's future role with the team. He echoed Foli's sentiments, saying the priority is for Milledge to play as much as possible -- without regard for where he is hitting in the lineup. Rizzo would offer no timetable for Milledge's stay in the minors.

"He's got to get as many at-bats as he can down there," Rizzo said. "Not necessarily in the leadoff position or in the No. 3 position."

Rizzo said he is pleased with the reports he has received about Milledge's demeanor; unprompted, Foli said that Milledge's attitude has been "great."

There have been no less than three references in this article, thus far, that have indicated that Milledge's attitude is the opposite of great. He hates the coaches, refuses to listen to their advice and is doing his own thing. "I know myself better than anyone else" -- how is that a great attitude for a guy who just got demoted and is in need of a different plate approach?

Milledge remains somewhat positive. The demotion means he is out of options and Milledge said it is a chance to play in front of other teams that could be interested in him down the line.

I smell a rule 5. Plenty of teams like to give ABs to a guy whose career ISO matches Neifi Perez's career high season in isolated power (.140 in 2000, when he was playing in Coors Field).

"Maybe somebody will remember how I played down here," he said. "I don't like to say I'm being punished right now."

Lastings Milledge is hitting .263/.300/.333 in AAA. Enough said.

As he sits outside the dimly lit indoor batting cage, Milledge smacks his black bat against the AstroTurf. He notices a white scuff mark, licks his finger and wipes it off. He pretends to swing a few times and looks down.

"Let your bat do the talking," he says. "It's the only thing you can do."

David Eckstein-like words of gritty, grindy wisdom! The world is a cruel, twisted place, where Corey Patterson gives major league players batting advice and 2 plus 2 makes 5.