Sports: A Game Of Inches

We are four humble men who love sports, but hate sports commentary. Peter Gammons is our hero and John Madden is our enemy. If you were to ask us our purpose, our answer would be simple: "We are forever locked in Mortal Kombat for the souls of sports fans everywhere. Statistics are our science and 'the immeasurable character of men' is the obsolete religion of blind faith. Our job is to prove that God doesn't exist and that athletes are merely cold, metal machines with no hearts or souls."

I have just lost my MLB network virginity

Finally I have arrived home and can enjoy some digital cable action, most notably the bran new MLB network, which really should have been invented years ago. One of the first things i heard made me think the network has a similar sense of humor to the GOI writers. Prior to showing the highlights to the Cardinals game today, they played a 10 second audio clip of the announcers key to the game. Here is what the Cards announcer states as the key to the game.

The key to Todd Wellenmeyer is to have a low hit game. When he has a high hit game, he can't keep from giving up runs

I'm glad MLB network isnt afraid to point out the stupidity of baseball announcers, which are the worst in all of sports and will be further documented in a future post. I'm super excited to see how this new channel will enhance the baseball watching experience.