Box Score Tonight: April 16

Today's theme will be 'holds'. I have started to notice the hold category for relief pitchers. I have no clue what one must do to not earn a hold. I'm sure whatever it is, Neal Cotts has zero of them. I'm afraid holds will become the new saves, and now we'll start paying guys 10 million a year for 40 'holds' like we do for closers with 40 'saves'. Useless, moronic stats. Wow you pitched a whole inning without losing the game. You deserve a cookie

• Emilion Bonifacio has 6 strikeouts the past two games, but the Marlins pitching keeps rolling with Anibel Sanchez
• Russ Ortis doesnt have an ERA below 5.5 since 2004, but somehow he is back in the Majors. It makes sense cause it's the Astros. Tejada, Blum, Pudge...They'll sign Edmunds and Lofton once they realize the Michael Bourne experiment failed hard.
• I've never even heard of half the Yankee's bullpen, explains the 9 run 7th the indians put up behind Sizemore's grand slam. He's dreamy
• Bradley get's ejected in his first at-bat as a Cub. Injured(check) Ejected(check) Suspended(check minus)
• The Cardinals always have a high OBP despite having pretty bad players outside the human cyborg Albert Pujols. I'd praise Tony LaRusa, but he's spent his career coaching roided freaks like Canseco and McGuire, batting the pitcher eighth, and being drunk
• Adam Dunn has an isolated discipline of .200 and an isolated power of .423. Mercy! Washington is 1-7. Break em up
• How is that Danks for McCarthy trade looking now? Danks is a stud lefty, damn you Kenny Williams. Jenks almost blows the save and is clearly not the pitcher he once was.
• Carlos Delgado hits a 3 run homer. He is one of the most overlooked superstars in the game. 162 game average of 38 homers, 38 doubles, 100 runs, 120 RBI, 88 walks and a 138 OPS+. Assuming he hasnt been roiding up the last 10 years, he a definite hall of famer for me.
• Roy Halladay is a pitching machine. Considering he has spent his entire career in the AL central, his greatness is all the more impressive
• Explain this to me, a reliever can get a blown save in any inning, but a save in only the 9th or later? Well that's what happened to Corcoran of the Mariners in the 7th inning. Maybe we should get rid of these retarded pitching stats
• Barry Zito does two things really well. Modeling jeans and losing baseball games.

Some funny pics i came across while googling barry zito