"The Dark [Ugly] Knight"


Listening to The Scott Van Pelt show with Ryen Russillo, they were doing the same old run down "greatest (insert anything) of the decade" routine. Something so lame that GOI would never consider doing, ever. Stop laughing, i'm being serious. The ESPN radio gang were discussing the greatest movie of the decade. I will still go with "Good Will Hunting", regardless what decade it was made. I first saw it this decade so it's new to me. The guys would not accept "The Dark Knight" as the best movie for 2 reasons. First, why did Batman have to use the Batman voice the entire movie? I understand using the Batman voice when you're fighting bad guys and all dressed up in your bat suite, but going with the deep, scratchy voice when you're enjoying hot coco in front of the fireplace is what we call over-acting. Second, how realistic is it for a superhero to be fighting over a 4. And yes, we are objectifying women with numbers. The 4 referring to Maggie Gyllenhaal playing the love interest in "The Dark Knight".

I had the absolute same reaction when we were leaving the movie theater. By no means am I a movie buff like DME and Sexy Rexy, but it just didnt make sense to me why the greatest, richest movie in history couldn't find a pretty face to put on screen. Not surprisingly, the only girl at the movie with us said she thought Maggie was pretty...which in girl speak means I'm glad they put some ugly bitch on screen making me look better. Hence, I decided to give Maggie a slight makeover that would have put "The Dark Knight" head over feet above every other movie this decade, except "Good Will Hunting". Actually, I may need to give Mini Driver a new look too, except for the sexy accent. The accent can stay.


5 comments:

Sexy Rexy said...

http://gameofinches.blogspot.com/search?q=Bill+Simmons+stole+my+idea

You're crazy man, seriously, it's one of the greatest action movies of all time, on par with T2. And he didn't use the Batman voice when he wasn't in the Batman suit. You're seriously the .0000000000000000000001% that didn't like, enjoy, or respect the movie.

The 'Bright' One said...

I liked the movie, but i enjoyed Iron Man even more. And since i saw iron man a week before TDK, TDK cannot be the best movie i've seen this decade. It's not even close to T2, sorry.

I like how outraged you are about my stance on the TDK that you completely missed my interpretation and perfect concoction of a woman at the bottom. Child please

Sexy Rexy said...

yeah Maggie Gyllenhall was fucking awful in the movie. But I didn't think she's ugly (although that pic doesn't do her justice). Good thing she died. Who's boobs and abs did you use?

The 'Bright' One said...

I tried to find boobs and midriff of alyssa milano, but there arnt any good, non-nude, photos of her out there. The boobs are jen hewitt. Kinda old school, but gotta admit they are nice. The waist is some chick who came up when i searched for milano.

Some girls may not be ugly if you were sitting across from them at a restaurant, but ugly if you have to watch them on a 50 foot screen. And her face is kinda messed up

David "MVP" Eckstein said...

M.G. is a fox and if you don't like her you can giiiiiiiiit out!